Times Change My Minds Rearranged

It's been over year...Wow!

I think it was easier for me to blog on a regular basis because all I would do is complain about being alone. Well, I'm not alone anymore and apparently my mind is elsewhere when it comes to having something to say.

I am recently engaged and am very excited. With all the weddings I've been a part of and have been to, it's about time! My fiance is such a wonderful man, someone that I feel very lucky to have found. The first person that I don't have to question if he really likes me. Now that's a feeling. He is a firefighter in the San Antonio area, which means that changes will be taking place in my life.

Hard changes, but changes for the best. It will be exciting but something very new to me.

How Can You Not Believe Even A Little?

I've had the same conversation over and over with certain people about Is there Really A God?? Even with people that have grown up in the church and was raised to believe that there is a God and that Jesus died for our sins. I'm not a preachy girl, I'm not one to start conversations about Religion and I definitely do not try and convert people. But there are time when it just comes up in random conversation. (usually after people ask me what my job is)
I can't prove anything.
I know that.
But when you look around, you can't think that trees and the sky and people and animals and waterfalls and sunsets all happened because of "science"...I'm sure there are scientific explinations for everything...but I for believe it was all put here by God. One God. When you look around and see the sun and the clouds in the day time sky and the moon and the stars in the night time sky...how magnificant and awesome all that is...someone had to come up with that.
And when you see all the peoples faces in the world...there are not two people that look excactly alike, except maybe twins, but they to have their differences. We may resemble parents, or famous people but we are our own people. We were individually created so be our own self. Not a replica of past generations. God made us different, to stand out, to be unique.
I don't understand peoples train of thought that were raised going to church on Sunday mornings and taught the Bible, can one day be like, "this is a bunch of Hu-ha" and throw it out. What triggered that? Look around...what's causing you to not believe? I'm not saying you have to be live your life preaching to other people, but why not let that little voice in your head that's whispering to you that there is a God, just come out a little. I don't want to think about what could happen to you if you don't believe. I would like to be with everyone that I love after we are finished here on earth.
Unless you think it's 'trendy' or a 'phase' you're going through...it's not trendy to be an athiest. It doesn't make you "cool". It makes me sad for you because I want you to all feel God's love and know that He is there watching over you and protecting you every day. I don't mean to convert or preach or pound my beliefs into anyone, I just want everyone to have some sort of belief system...something to look forward to...whatever that may be.
Having something to live for is an amazing feeling. I know people that have seen war and death and other horrible things. And I don't want them to take for granted how precious life is. Be thankful for you family and friends and future spouse and future children...that's something to live for. Don't take this for granted. Love people, love God, for He gave you life.
I love you all and think about you often!

Catch Up

OK...so I decided not to go to Guyana. I thought long and hard and prayed about it. And though I'm sure I'll regret it, I'm going to pass on this trip. I did really want to go, but I think if I were to go to South America on a Mission Trip I would want someone that I knew to be with me. That's a huge thing to do by myself. So maybe next year.

I got my passport in the mail the other day and it was exciting, but a reminder that I will not be using it anytime soon. But it is good to know that I can leave the country whenever I wanted to because I have the right documentation.

On another FANTASTIC note...I got a phone call from an dear old friend this weekend. By "old" I mean, I've known him since I was literally a baby. He had a son this past November...I'm sure you've seen the pictures! Well I was asked to be Co-God Mother to him!!! Yay!! I can't tell you how excited and honored and thrilled I am have been asked to a part of his life in this way! I have just been in such a great mood all weekend!!

An article from the Lutheran magazine said:
A godparent is to develop a special, lifelong relationship with the godchild, communicating faith and values to her or him in word, deed and play, reminding him of his baptism, rooting for her as she grows and questions and struggles.
I can do that.
How might one choose a godparent?:
* Will take a child seriously and invest time in developing a friendship with him or her.
* Listens well, is caring and trustworthy.
* Is a baptized Christian who could share her or his faith with a child (and later an adult) in conversation or action.
I can do that too!!!

It is just a wonderful feeling to be recognized as someone who will get to be a part of this child's life and is important enough to the parents to even be considered. I definitely feel blessed!!

Is Opportunity Really Knocking?

I've been given an AMAZING opportunity to go to Guyana, South America to build a church in the "jungle". How awesome would that be?

The church has offered to cover some of the costs, not all of them, but enough to make it to where I'll be able to afford it without going completely broke. Last year there was a group of about 7 or 8 people from out congregation going, so I figured that would the same this year. I was completely wrong. So far, I'm the only one from the congregation that is showing interest in going. Here lies my delimma...Do I stay or do I go???

I would be meeting up with a group of people from another church, so I wouldn't be completely alone on this journey, but knowing me, I would feel very alone.
I talked with a woman from the congregation that has journeyed down there three times and all she keeps saying is to jump at this opportunity. She's 75 right now and her kids don't think it's a good idea at her age to go, or else she would already be there. She feels such a connection down there. For her, it was a life changing experience. Of course it is...you're making a difference for people who really don't have anything.

I've traveled by myself plenty times, so I'm not really worried about the flying and travelling part. But going to a whole new COUNTRY!!!! That's a big deal. I've never been out of the United States. I don't know if I want my first time out to be by myself.

Anyways... I need to make a decision soon. Apparently by Sunday or Monday, which only gives me a couple of days. So all I'm asking for is some prayers for a decision to be made...or advice or just words to put me at ease. Or if you're really feeling generous...COME WITH ME!!!

That Girl

I used to be that girl that would dye her hair every chance she got. It started my freshman year of high school. I had beautiful dark brown hair like my mother's, but for some reason I just thought I had to put in blonde highlights like EVERYONE else I knew. I did it, and I liked it, it was something different for me and I had fun with it.

Then after that I wanted something different, so I dyed it completely blonde. Then I watched the movie "The Fifth Element" and the character leeloo played by Mila Jovovich really caught my eye. I wanted hair like that. So I dyed my hair auburn, well that wasn't bright enough for me. So when I went off to summer camp I dyed my hair Brilliant Copper #68 (Luscious Mango). I wanted it to be very orange...well it was. It wasn't like Leeloo's, but it was still orange. Then that faded away and I'm sure I put more highlights in it, then I dyed it all brown trying to get back to my natural color. Then right before I moved to Georgetown I put Red and Blond Streaks throughout my hair...yes, it looked AWESOME!!! Then last year...February 2005 to be exact, I dyed my hair for the last time. I went and actually got it done at a salon. I did a dark brown so that when it grew out it wouldn't be very noticable.
Even still when I go home my extended family askes about my new dye job because in the sunlight my hair has redish tints to it. and when I went to get it cut last month my lady made a comment about how it's growing out funny. It's actually growing out lighter than what I dyed it and I really noticed it this morning. The ends of my hair are pretty blonde when I'm blow drying my hair. How does that happen??? The part of my hair that should actually be dark...is so blonde. And then when I was driving across country with Lauren and I looked at my reflection a couple times...my hair was very red. It's really weird how that works out sometimes....

Just something I felt like share with you all...

Don't Know What to Title This

I am the worst sleeper in the world. It's ridiculous. I've gotten to the point where I just can't sleep through the night unless I take something that just knocks me out. I hate having to be dependant on something just to get to sleep, but you know what... my body needs sleep.
I woke up a good 37 times last night and I have no idea why. Am I not comfortable? Did something startle me? Why can't I just sleep????!!

At least I didn't wake up tired this morning, but sometimes I just wake up and don't want to get out of bed because I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept a whole night through in months. My Grandmother suggested I take a melotonin pill before going to sleep. It's just a natural sleep enhancer, nothing bad for you. But it almost made my sleep worse. I had a hard enough time falling asleep and when I did...I couldn't stay asleep.

If someone has had this problem and has found a solution PLEASE let me know, I'll take whatever I can get. Thanks!

What Irks me

I'm a little irritated that the phone companies can tell you how many minutes you can talk on the phone.
We shouldn't be limited to much time we can spend on the phone before 7:00p.m. (Or maybe I just have the wrong phone provider.) I do use my phone pretty regularly before 7:00 and sometimes I get charged for doing so. For a whole month I only have roughly 6.6666 hours of talk time on Monday thru Friday before 7. Now to me...that is ridiculous. Unless I'm talking to someone with the same phone provider. If my phone calls were short and sweet, that's fine, but they're not always. Or I'm not paying attention to what time it is when I answer the phone and just continue to talk for a while and then have to pay for it.

I really think we should be able to talk for as long as we want whenever we want. Land lines don't give you a limit of how much you can talk on the phone, they just give you your fixed rate and tell you to have at it. My new month just came into effect yesterday and I already have used 130 minutes and that means I only have 270 minutes left for the rest of the month...that's just not fair. I shouldn't have to apy because I want to talk to my friends...Disgusted is what I am.

I'm sorry it just pisses me off sometime...people giving me a limit of how often I can use my phone....and during the holiday season...