Yea, I get to celebrate my birthday as a princess!! 

I Needed That

I had one of the greatest weekends I've had in a while. I mean I had one really awesome one last month...but this one was much needed.
It started by making a trip home to Floresville, mostly because I'm greedy and I really wanted my birthday present from my parents. I was a little mad on the drive home because I had to work until 6:00 that night and I still had to go to my apartment to finish packing. Anyways...I got home around 8:30, which isn't bad and then just sat around with my parents until about 11:00 just catching up. The next day was nice, I went into town, got my car inspected, watched my cousin's son take swim lessons, went to lunch with my mom and then did a little shopping with her after that.

Then went back home to get ready because we were going to go into San Antonio for dinner that evening. When my mom got off of work she gave me my presents!!! I got new dishes, which I knew I was getting because my mom had already spilled the beans. Anyways I was very excited...they're red on the top part and black underneath. YEA!! Just what I asked for. AND...I got a power drill!! That was a bonus. I had asked for that too...but I didn't realize I was going to get two presents!! Anyways... back to why my weekend was so wonderful.

Lindsay got to meet up with us for dinner which was awesome because I don't get to see her as much as I used to. So after we ate we decided to walk the mall to waste some time...after making a couple laps we went into the Cheesecake factory for a nice "girly" drink at the bar. Girly meaning they were fruity and $8.00. I know, that's ridiculous for one drink, but it was delicious and definitely worth it.

OK, then we drove to Sherlocks to meet up with some friends from college, on my way to the bar I called a few more people to come and meet us there. I called Chad (a youth director friend), but he was in Dallas at some ball game, then I called Chris, but his sister was in town and was haning with her, then I called Travis (some of you may also know him as T-diddy)...I don't know why I did because I know he never answers the phone when I call him, but I figured I would give it a shot, so I just left him a message to meet up with us and of course...never called and never showed. I don't know why I put myself through stuff like that. So fine...no one wants to come meet up with my for my birthday, that's fine, I'm cool with that.

So Lindsay and I decide to share a pitcher of Blue Moon...I never had it, and now I really like it. So that was exciting. Then our friend Josh shows up and Lindsay's boyfriend Pyle came too...so us four just sat around for a long while and did some more catching up. It was so nice...just like old times. I loved it. I think I turned to Josh like 5 different times and just said "I'm so excited that we're all haning out right now!!". I really was. I miss that group of friends. So then Josh decides that it's time to go somewhere different, so I ride with him to the Flying Saucer. It was a good 15 minute drive so we got to talk just the two of us. Which was nice, we talked about girls and boys and what's going on with them in our lives.

I'm not going to write about the whole night...then we go back to Lindsays to crash. I have a hard time sleeping when it's not my bed or apartment, so I laid on her fold out couch and talked on the phone. My brother and I are trying to get a vacation planned for next week...so far, we're lame because nothing is really coming up...but I have those three 1/2 days already taken off...so I'm doing something!!

OK, so I get up and go have lunch with my brother Cory before I head back to Georgetown. That drive was a great drive too because I got to talk to Lauren!! Yea, I miss you girl. Anyways, our conversations is 90% about boys...that's just how girls are. Apparently she has ruffled some feathers with one of the blogs she wrote. But Boys, just so you know, that blog was not aimed at one certain person and we both want you to know that. It was just a culmination of different circumstances that have happened to the both of us in the past couple years. It wasn't written to place blame on one single person it was just a statement of what has been struggles for us when it comes to guys. So please, don't think she was out to get you or make you question your feelings or actions...it was just written to be written. OK! Girls can sometimes "fall" a little quicker than guys do, and we just want you all to know that. One little phone call that is just a simple hello could really mean the world to the other person and we just want you to be aware of what you could be doing to someone's feelings, even if it isn't on purpose...OK...enough on that subject.

Saturday afternoon was nice and lazy...I got back around 3:00ish I guess and I laid on my couch for most of that afternoon. The next thing that made my weekend so wonderful were the random phone calls that I got. That afternoon my friend Wes called me. We went on a couple dates right after I graduated high school, but it was no big deal. But he just called to see how I was doing, which was really nice. It's just nice to know that people that you don't see except maybe on certain holiday's think about you periodically...Then I crash early, because I didn't get much sleep that couples nights before...and my phone rings at like 4:40 a.m. Who calls that late or that early?!! Well it was my friend Justin who moved to Arizona. He NEVER calls either. I haven't talked to him or seen him since last year at a friends wedding. He said he was just going to leave a message, but I know I wouldn't have called him back and it would have been nice to talk to him...so we chatted for like 8 minutes just doing a little catch up. I still don't know why he decided to call me, but he did.

Little things like that just really make my day. Then Sunday was awesome, my sponser Mrs. Davenport took me to lunch and then to the movies. We saw "You Me and Dupree". It was pretty good. I had a good time. Then later that night my cousin calls me too, he's pretty good about calling every now and then to catch up.
Anyways...it was just a great weekend of seeing/hanging out with old friends and then getting all these random phone calls. It was just nice. I needed a weekend like that to know that there are people out there that care/love me because sometimes when I'm up here I don't really get that all the time. It was a nice boost of reassurance. I also came to another realization...but I can't speak of that for a few more months...maybe January or February...whenever I get comfortable enough to let it out...

What What...

Preach it sister

Life in General

When people ask me where I see myself in 5 or 10 years, the first thing that comes to my mind is "HAPPY". It's not that I'm not happy right now with my life...it's just that I feel I could be happier at times. I pray by the time I'm 29 or 30 I'm hoping to be married. I've noticed that girls future always seem to revolve around being married and starting a family. I wonder why that is...and boys seem to think about their job and success when it comes to the future. Why don't I think of my future in terms of my job? I love my job, I really do, but I don't see myself doing this forever. I don't see myself going "forward" in this field with a higher position. So I'm content. I see my future as being a mother and raising a family and then seeing where my place is. I know for a fact that I am NO WHERE near being ready to be married and definitely don't want children any time soon...I just wish I knew for certain that it was somewhere in my future. Just to know that it will happen.

I'm also not much of a "dater". I'm not one of those girls that dates guys just so that I don't have to be alone. I'm very independent, And I'm very proud of myself for that. But sometimes I feel like I"m missing out on something by not seeing what's out there. I'm very picky when it comes to who I share things with and so if I've shared any sort of personal feelings or emotions with you, consider yourself lucky because I don't "waste" my time on just anyone. It takes a lot to get even questions or thoughts of feelings out of me. I'm a very "to myself" type of person and don't just go around opening up to everyone I come into contact with.

I don't know if it's because I have three brothers and so I'm used to being surrounded by guys...but never to actually open up to them about what's going on in my head. And that makes me scared to be in an emotional relationship with any guy, because I know my bro's are sometimes a little to over baring. (I have had brother's tell guys to not to call me anymore just because they didn't like them). But they've definitely gotten better when it comes to me discussing boys with them...whatever.

I guess I just feel like sometimes I'm running out of steam. I mean, I've lived in this same town for over two years and I feel like I haven't really experienced all the things I should have being the age I am and being single. I hope I haven't missed out on anything. I also just don't' want to be that girl that's always alone...sometimes I'm scared that that is where my life is leading me because I've gotten so used to living alone and doing everything on my own. And at the same time I like knowing that I don't have to rely on anyone to survive. I can take care of myself.

I guess, also, I'm just going through a confusing time in my life. As much as I love the independence, life sometimes gets lonely. Especially when friends are so far away. Even though Lauren is in South Carolina we still stay updated regularly on each others lives and are still just as close as we were before she left. Which gives me strength/faith/confidence that even though people are hundreds of miles away they can still last/work/survive. I love that girl so much and don't know what I would do without her. She definitely is one of the Rocks in my life and she gets tons of Gold Stars for that.

I guess my point is that life is confusing and full of unknowns and always will be. That's the beauty of it...its full of surprises and we never know what will happen next in our journey through life. All we can do is trust that God has this amazing plan for us and enjoy every day we have, cherish our friends and family and always tell people how you feel about them because we never know what's going to happen.

So to all my friends out there, I love you, and wish nothing but happiness for you and pray that God blesses your every thought and actions and give you peace of mind.

I Got What I Need

I always complain that I never have enough money. But of course it's my own fault. I like to buy stuff...stuff that I don't need. On Fridays while everyone else is working, I get bored, so I got shopping. Not necessarily for anything, but so that I can get out of my apartment. I just seem to always find something that I want or sometimes something that I need, and I buy it. There's always money in my account, so I don't usually think twice.

I also have an easier time buying for other people. If it's a gift, or if I just feel like buying someone something, it's just easier to spend on other people than it is for myself. Not that I don't buy myself stuff...but you know what I mean.

Then I complain to my mom that my rent is high and that my phone bill is ridiculous and that I should be putting more money towards my student loans and give more to the church. But I always seem to have enough money. I have absolutely nothing to compain about.

I caught the end of Oprah on Friday and it was about a couple that was going to see what it was like to live off of minimum wage for 30 days. Apparently it's very difficult. They barely have enough money for food and rent, and heaven forbid they have to take a trip to the doctor. That alone put them in debt for another three months. I need to be happy that I don't have to worry about where my next paycheck will come from or if it's going to be enough to cover all my bills. I know my paycheck will cover my bills and that I'll still have enough left over to "entertain" myself. And I am happy with my life and how everything is going...sometimes I just get that little selfish bug in me that wants to be spoiled. I just like knowing that everything is and will be taken care of for me...

Lost in Translation

I'm going to be a girl and start off with..."So, there's this guy..."
I hate doing that, but I feel if I at least get it out, then it won't be bothering me inside as much. I've known him for a while now (we went to college together) and have been talking to him on the phone pretty frequently. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. We've mentioned that we both have crushes on each other and got that out in the open and ever since then is when we've been talking on a more regular basis. So here's the thing...he's out of state. (Of course he is...I seem to have that kind of luck...but at least his state is closer than Michigan and Wisconsin, those were just way too far.)

Here's my thing, I'm really starting to like him but I know he's hundred's of miles away. I just with I knew what was going on in his mind. I don't want to waste all these emotions on nothing, you know. I get excited when he calls, and I don't want to get like that if it's not for anything. I know not much can happen right now, but we could build on to something. I don't know. I've never really brought it up to him either because he doesn't really have much spare time to call and when he does it's while he's at work or in the middle of something and can only talk for a few minutes. You can't really bring up personal stuff like that when your surrounded by other people and distracted by work.

Anyways...it's fun for now and I'll roll with it and see where it goes. I just hate having all these unanswered questions swimming through my head...but that's just how girls function...

Oh yea...I went to another wedding this weekend!! Good times, lots of old friends.

What does it all mean?

I've always been that friend who everyone comes to when they need some advice or just someone to talk to. That was my role in high school, in college and even now. For some reason, that's just been my place in my circle of friends. Anyways...I guess I can give as much "advice" as I can, but sometimes you just need a guys perspective on things and I can't really do that right now, seeing as I'm a girl.

I have this friend who's been getting phone calls from one of her guy friends almost daily for a while now. So my thinking as a girl (because we read into EVERYTHING) is that he must like her, right? Why else would he call her that much. Actually I know he likes her, but there's a distance issue that I'm not even going to get into because my past experiences with out of state boys never really worked out. Anyways. But at the same time I don't want her to read too much into anything because I don't really know what's going on in this guys head. I don't want her to waste any emotions on it if it's not a big deal. I guess my question to all you guys is - why would someone call so much? If she invests any feelings for no reason - I would feel really bad for her. My thoughts are: I wouldn't call someone so much if I wasn't expecting anything or trying to invest in a "future"...but that's just me. I know they're just quick phone calls, but still, they're frequent. Whatever...she'll figure something out.

On another note, I talked with my brother Cory last night because we want to take a vacation to somewhere. So far, a plane ticket anywhere is ridiculously expensive and I need to save that money for my trip to South Carolina this fall. So we may end up just going to Port Aransas for a few days. I still have all my two weeks of vacation left so I really wanted to get out of here for a long while-if possible. Just wish everything didn't cost so much. But rest assure, there will be a vacation to somewhere at sometime, and Good Times will be had!!

Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself

Fear: An unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.-Anxious Concern

Scared: Thrown into or being in a state of fear, fright or panic.

We all have things that we fear or are scared of. My fear in life used to be of not finding something that would make me happy or finding someone to love me...or walking sticks (I am terrified of walking sticks and spiders). Now, I am still fearful of the future and of what it holds - I'm curious as to who I will spend the rest of my life with and if I will ever find that someone, and when it will happen. I see so many 'happy couples' and I still go out with my friends as the only single person and it makes me feel a little sad at times.

I've lived by myself for so long that I sometimes feel like I'm almost destined to stay alone - but that fear is being over powered by another fear. I'm constantly in fear, looking over my shoulder, checking the peep-hole before I open the door, having people walk me to my car. I have a criminal trespassing warning out on this guy, to where he can't step on church or my apartment complex property.

As I was going to church on Sunday morning he was just sitting there on the church property line. That's it, just sitting. He knows his limits and he definitely pushes them. I was just very uncomfortable with him sitting there. I had to drive by a couple of times before I had enough strength to pull into the parking lot. I hate having that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I shoudn't have to worry about going to work in the mornings.

I hate being nervous all the time. Now one should have to live like this and be scared to go anywhere. I'm hoping these warnings will help because I just want to go back ot how my life used to be.

The Next Step

This morning the next step was taken regarding the situation going on in my life. I had a Detective Sergeant come and speak with me this morning about how he feels about what is going on. Since he was concerned...that made me concerned. Because this is a rough/tough guy, so that was a little scary.

But we sat down with some men from church and discussed what needed to happen and we decided that a criminal restraint is the best shot for now. Which means he cannot come onto the church property or my complex property, and if he does step foot on a blade of grass I can call the cops and they will take care of him. So I hope that was a good thing for me to have done and it's not something that will upset him to do anything inappropriate.

So basically I've just had this nervous feeling in my stomach all day long. Looking around corners and checking behind me when I walk around. It's uncomfortable, but I hope that will do something.

What Now?

Remember creepy guy...well even after the police talked to him about not coming around me, I got another letter from him today. He left it in the church office with our secretary. This one was a little uncomfortable. He never really threatened me or anything, but it was a little threatening to anyone how may be around me. So that's a little scary.

All morning and even now I'm just a little uneasy and not being able to focus. I'm just very uncomfortable right now and don't really know the proper way to handle situations like this. I tried called the sergeant that I've been working with, but he seems to be on vacation this week, so I haven't gotten to share any of this information with him. All in due time.

So my great week has just kind of come to a stand still because I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder at everything I do. Not a very fun way to be spending the day...

On another note, I got to talk with Lauren for a lengthy time yesterday. It was a much needed talk, especially with her being so far away we don't get to gossip and share things with each other like we used to. Got to talk about boys, religion, future...the list could go on. I love getting her input on things and hearing advice from her. It just makes life easier for me. I'm getting very exciting about getting to go and visit her this fall. I'm just ready to take a trip somewhere...even if it is by myself!! I love to travel.

OK, so day camp is going well and that makes it easy on me...but I should head out to go check on all of those elementary kiddo's and make sure everyone is still up and running...

New Realizations

What an Awesome weekend I had. I got to see and hang out with so many amazing people. It started off with having a drink with my new friend I made at church to spending the night with an old friend from high school....and then so much more in between. Through out this weekend I realized somethings about myself and about what I would like in my future.

Friday night after a long day of shopping, eating and spending time with an Amazing Guy - I ran into my neighbors and was invited to go out with them for some Dinner & Dancing. We went out to the SPJST hall in the great town of Taylor, TX. It was awesome, it was just a little hall out in the middle of nowhere that had delicious burgers and a spot for dancing. I danced my first polka and was pretty proud of myself. But the hall was filled with couples that were no younger than 75 or 80 (no joke). And they were loving it. These couples that have been married for 40+ years that were sitting with each other dancing and being so affectionate with each other. They danced so much with each other and were always smiling. You could just see how much they loved each other.

I realized that that's what I want. Someone who will still want to dance with me after 50 years of being together, someone who will still sit with their arms around my shoulder and squeeze my neck every now and then. It was just so neat to see how these couples acted after a long life together. I think it's awesome to see and know someone can love someone else for decades and still love them the same. Amazing! I just hope I will end up with someone and be in love for that long...

I also realized that I want to have a backyard that has some sort of pond or creek with a bench by it, so that I can sit and watch the water. I think that would be pleasant. Spending the evening with my hot guy by the water and just sit there. That's all that would need to happen.

I also realized how awkward I get around guys when it's just one on one. I don't know why, but I just have a hard time being myself because I'm always scared of what they're thinking...are we thinking the same thing? Does he just want to be my friend? Do I have something on my face? Should I touch him, what should I do if he touches me?...you know...I just think too much sometime. I guess I just need to let things happen and not worry so much. But as a girl...that's just what we do. I don't know how to stop it. I can tell myself to, but I don't always listen to my own advice.

Anyways...All in All, my weekend was excellent and now I get to play hostess to three college aged girls for the week. Hope I don't get too cramped with that many people in my apartment...

All over Texas

I don't even know where to begin. I've just been all over the place these past couple weeks. From Georgetown to Floresville to Falls City to San Antonio to Falls City to Kerrville to Georgetown to San Antonio and back to Georgetown.

My best friend from high school got married the other weekend and I had such a great time with all of those activities. It was a busy weekend, but it was definitely worth it. It was wonderful and beautiful and just a good time. I don't think I've had that much fun at a wedding ever...that could be a lie, but I don't know. I just had so much fun with everyone. It was like a high school reunion.

Then I headed to camp for a couple days to see my elementary kiddos. That was a great time. I hit on a couple younger boys...no big deal. It's just funny. Plus my friend Sam just eggs it on so it was like a competition. I had a wonderful time there though.

Then it was off to San Antonio with my high school youth for the ELCA National Youth Gathering that happens every 3 years. It was a busy 5 days. I am so worn out. But I had a great time there as well. It's funny how being in a crowd of 15,000 people you can still run into people you know a number of times. I think I ran into my cousin from Dallas on two different occasions and then I ran into a guy from camp at least every day...maybe even twice a day. It was so weird. But it was a great experience. My group really enjoyed themselves. They mostly liked meeting the cute boys and girls there, but still, at least they had a good time, right?!!

So now I'm back in Georgetown trying to catch up on all the sleep I lost this week. The cold I got isn't really helping that much, but I'm pushing through it. Next week is my last busy week of the summer so I'm just preparing myself for that. Then I'm going to take a vacation. So if anyone has any suggestions of where I should go, I'm open to any ideas. I plan on taking some time off in mid-August if anyone is willing to host a traveler!!!

Heeeee's Baaaaack

It has been a pleasant couple of months not having to worry about this guy that has been leaving me little notes at the church. He's been traveling...but now he's back...

The Detective/Officer that has my "case" made an unannounced stop at my office this morning to let me know. Now, isn't that sweet. I have spoken with this man a few times before, we keep each other updated one new happenings in the situation and what not. I was surprised to see what he looked like. He sounded like an older gentleman on the phone, but in person...he was younger than what I had pictured. He wasn't this gray haired man in his suit and tie, he was a younger guy (35-45ish) in uniform. Anyways...that's not the point....

Words were exchanged between him and the man that I asked him to speak with. Hopefully that is a good thing and isn't something that will set off my 'note passer' man. I just pray that the detectives words were stern enough to get the point across, but gentle enough to not make this guy go even crazier than he already is. I just want to be able to go around town and not have to worry about who I might run into.

Either way, I have the detectives number in case anything might happend, which makes me feel better. He even said he wouldn't mind sending someone out here on a Sunday morning if things begin to get uncomfortable. I'm content with the situation now. Especially since I won't be here for the next couple of Sunday's. That should be enough time away for things to get back to normal and I don't have to be around this guy and worry about what he's going to do next...

BridesMaid Duties

How much fun is being a bridesmaid...besides spending all sorts of money on dresses and parties.
We got to spend a day trying on and playing in all sorts of dresses. It's like dress up for big girls.
Then we get to throw parties for them and have all sorts of good times!!

Starting our day of fun with a variety of dresses 

Me and Carrie 

Too much fun 

This was long of my favorites...but I apparently have different taste than the rest of the ladies 

Nice selections 

This one made me feel like a ballerina...I did some pretty sweet moves when no one was looking. 

Gorgeous! 

Stacey, Carrie, Stacy, Leslie and I after our long morning of trying on dresses! 

Two Moczygemba Girls....Two much to handle!! 

The wedding party with some additions...now that's a good looking group of girls. (Lisa, Becky, Stacey, Carrie, Stacy, Christine, Stephanie) 

Me and the Bride-To-Be...Carrie, about to go have some fun!! 

Things That Bother Becky

I've been known to complain about little things that aren't worth even bringing up. But right now I have a few things on my mind that are bothering me:

1. I hate it when people dilute the liquid soap to save money. I just went to wash my hands and it felt like all I did was put water on my hands. Why would anyone think that putting water in soap is going to make it last longer? It just makes it runny and not make any bubbles.

2. Single ply toilet paper. You just have to use more and so it doesn't last any longer. You use less at a time if you buy the good stuff. This is one thing that I dont' skimp out on. I'll buy the god stuff.

3. When people going to the teller at the bank and use the line that has the ATM. Goodness, save that line for the people that just want to get a couple of bucks out instead of making them wait the 20 minutes it takes you to deposit a check....Drives me crazy when I'm in a rush.

4. Blinker's. They're there for a reason.

5. Now I'm not really one to drive ridiculously fast, but I do like going the speed limit, so if the speed limit is 65 and you want to drive 55...please do not drive in the left hand lane. LEFT LANE FOR PASSING ONLY. Come on people, read the sign.

6. Don't say you're going to call someone if you're not going to call. Just don't say anything. I'd rather have someone say, "Well, it was good seeing you. See ya later." Then "Hey, I'll definitely call you." and then not call. I don't want to expect a phone call thats not coming.

7. If you open a drawer or a cabinet, shut it when you're finished.

I'm sure there's more but I don't want to be so negative about everything.

So Much, So Fast

Goodness it's been a while. Summer is always just so busy when it comes to working with youth in a church. But it's wonderful and it's keeping me busy. No complaints about sitting around and having nothing to do...although that would be nice every now and then because I am so exhausted right now.

I took a group of 10 Middle Schooler to Arlington for 3 nights to do some mission work up there. It was awesome! We had such a great time and everyone got along very well. Not to say that the boys didn't act like 14 year old boys, but still...it was a great time. Tiring, but great.
We did work at "Mission Arlington". Our daily duties were: sorting through the donations that people drop off, separating clothes, putting clothes on hangers to put in their "store", driving an un-airconditioned truck to pick up donations, sorting boxes of cleaner, organizing a food pantry and going to old apartment complexes to play with kids and to Bible Studies with them. We were constantly busy.

Lauren even came to spend an evening with us...well, with me! Which is always good times. We had yet another good bye moment which, again, was pretty difficult. It's pretty real now because she's already left and won't be for a couple months until I get to see her again. Luckily the summer will keep me occupied, but that won't be the case when there's nothing to do around here.

Then we got to spend a day at Six Flags to reward our selves for all the hard work we did. It was a great time. Go to ride lots of rides!!

Then I head to San Antonio almost as soon as we got back into town. Carrie's Bachelorette party was this weekend so we had a great girls night out! Dinner and Margarita's at Cha-Cha's then dancing the night away at Cowboy's Dance Hall. I haven't gotten to do that kind of dancing in so long, I had such a great time!! Plus I got to hang out with some old friends which is always good!! And I got to hang out with Cory and Andy. Andy and I had a great little talk about what's going on in his life. Which was interesting because we never really have serious conversations anymore.

Travis showed up at Cowboys that night too! That's always fun. I like seeing him. Good things happened, we had nice little chat.

Now I'm back in Georgetown in the "real" world getting ready for my next adventure!

Sinking In

I've never been one to make girl friends very easily. My excuse is that I grew up with three brothers and so I'm just more comfortable around boys than I am girls (except boys I like). So having a girl friend is a big deal for me. I mean, I have girl friends that I grew up with and when to high school with and went to college with...but after college is when I really found a girl that I was comfortable with talking about personal life: the future, boys, jobs...just life in general. I didn't feel judged, I never felt embarrassed, I didn't feel looked down on and I always felt like I meant something. Yes, this goes out to you Lauren.

Today I was sitting at my desk is when it really really really sunk in that she was leaving. I kept telling myself that she was moving...but now, right now...it's sinking in. Four years she'll be away. Maybe even longer if she likes it there that much. FOUR YEARS!!! That's a long time. I've lost touch which plenty of people in the last four years. I don't really forsee that happening with Lauren, but it's scary to think. We might be really good about keeping in touch for the first year...but then what...what if we start to slack. I shouldn't be thinking so negative because if this friendship is as AWESOME as I think it is...then we'll stay in contact for always!!

But if I don't see her this week while I'm in Arlington on a youth event...I'm not going to see her for months. Which is rough because we have been pretty good about meeting up once a week for dinner or coffee. I'm definitely going to miss that...She was for sure one of my stress releasers. Now who am I going to talk to about all the things going on in my life? Yes, I will still talk to her... but sometimes it's just better in person.

She was also the one that I got to take trips with...we've been plenty of places: Miami, Key West, Arlington, Nashville, Winston-Salem, Charlotte...never a dull moment when we're together.

Anyways...I just wanted everyone to know that Lauren is such an amazing person. And I am going to miss her dearly. But now worries, we'll see each other soon enough in her new surroundings.

Lauren, I am very proud of what you are doing and wish nothing but the best for you in your new life. This is what you should be and need to be doing. You will make so many more lives full with what you do.

I LOVE YOU GIRL!!!

Home Sweet Home

What a great weekend, packed full of family, friends, and business.
I love taking trips down south. I left work early on Thursday to go to San Antonio and I met up with my brother Andy to have some dinner together. Which was nice because we don't usually get to hang out together. He brought a girl along, so it wasn't just us two, but it was still nice all the same. His lady friend seemed like a good girl, not real talkative, but I wasn't either because we didn't know each other. Anyways...then I met up with my oldest brother Cory and we hung out at his place for a while before meeting up with some friends.

Now these friends are great people, I was very excited/nervous to get to spend my Thursday night with them. I've had a crush on this one guy that was with us since High School. Every time I see him I just get all flushed and my stomach turns over and my legs get weak. It's ridiculous. But I just can't help it. It happens every time and even after seeing him a few times it still happens. Anyways. It was great, we went out to The Falls and listened to some music and had a few drinks. It was pleasant. We decided that since Friday I had nothing to all day and that I would be sitting in Cory apartment all by myself that he would come over and we would hang out all day.

So he came over late the next morning and we ended up watching about 3 movies together: Super Troopers, Van Wilder, and Pirates of the Carribean. We did a little flirting and what not...but that was it. Nothing really happened.
I'm just not confidant enough in myself to do anything so I just waited for him to do or say something, but nothing. Kind of made me a little sad. Oh well. Then we all went out again that night, Me, my three brothers and him. It was nice. And as we were parting ways again that night it was just one of those "well it was good to see you, I'm glad we got to hang out" type endings. Made me a little sad.

Then my Grandmother turned 80 on Saturday. There was a big Shin-Dig at Grady's bar-b-que. All of the family and some of my grandmother's friends were there. It was a big To Do. Then I had to come back home. That was a hard drive back home, it really makes me sad that I have to come back to such an empty feeling after being surrounded by family and friends that I love. Then I get home and I just sit around...stinks.

So Sunday after church I decided that I would just go home again for the night to be with people. I think I really needed that. I had a great conversation with my parents and just some nice relax time. Which is good because the summer is going to be pretty wild.

On my drive back to Georgetown, I decided to call this guy...of course, he didn't answer. Which kind of stinks because I hate calling people and I really hate leaving messages. So that's that...I guess I just wait around and see if he gets the urge to call me and see what I'm up to.
I just don't want to get annoying and call when I should be calling. I don't want him to think I'm some obsessive girl. I'm not, I promise...just a little "crush struck".

Angels and Airwaves

I was a little sad the day Blink 821 decided to go their seperate ways when it comes to music because I've always been a fan of theirs. Not like Daniel, who owns practically every album, single and re-make that Blink every did. But a fan still the same.

So I have been waiting patiently for the new Angels and Airwaves CD to come out. It dropped yesterday, and yes I went to Best Buy to buy it (along with the purchase of a car charger and the new Snow Patrol CD).
I must say I made some good buys! Both Cd's are just great. I'm really excited that Tom DeLong started a new group. The music and words are just great. I can't get enough of it. Lucky me that I can sit and listen to this while I'm at work!!

I also called my brother's yesterday. We're going to have a fun filled weekend of hanging out. I don't get to just "hang out" and chill with my brother's anymore, so this will be good. It's really going to be good if Hot boys are around!
Anyways, I'm just excited to get out of Georgetown for a while. A little mini-vacation before my hectic summer begins and I don't get any rest what-so-ever!

"Oh I need you now,
the earth fell fast asleep.
This room is safe and sound,
will you lay here with me and feel it?
I think I like today,
I think it's good,
It's something I can't get my head around."
-Angels and Airwaves

Times Change

The end of May just keeps getting closer and closer. I'm getting a little scared about that. Lot's of activities coming up, friends moving away, and just not a lot of time for myself.
I went to Elicia's baptism on Sunday. Well, I didn't really get to see any of it because I had certain responsibilities at my church that morning. But I got there as church was letting out and so I got to say my hello's and give my gifts. That was the last time I am going to see them for a while because the leave for Colorado tomorrow morning. Sad, I know.

Well I started thinking on my drive back to Georgetown...now I know this is going to sound ridiculous when I write it because I already know I'm over reacting. But their are just certain emotions that I get and I think that maybe getting them out will make me feel better.

Becca's college roommate was chosen to be on of the God parent's, along with Steve's sister. Now don't get me wrong I'm am excited for both of them to get that privilege. But then I started thinking, Becca's roommate got to be her maid of honor and now she get's to be the God Mother. I felt a little left out because I've been friends with her longer and have felt that we were really close. I know, that's a selfish feeling.

But then it got me thinking back to weddings. All my friends seem to either have a sister or a "closer" best friend than myself. Courtney had her sister, Carrie has her twin, Stacy has Carrie, Becca had Jessica. Now these girls have all been very close to me...but do I think more of them than they do of me? I don't think so. But when you sit around by yourself as long as I do it all starts to make sense. I want to be as much a friend to them as I feel they are to me. And I think I do a pretty good job of that...

Also, I just found out that my brother has been hanging out with this guy that I used to have a huge crush on in high school. So that got me thinking...my brother is my way in! I'll have to find a reason to just drop in and hang out with all of those guy so that everyone can see how wonderful I am...We'll just see what the weekend holds!!

Breathe It In

I love having a clean car...It just makes driving that much better. Lately my after work activity was going home, putting on my swim suit and sitting by the pool for a while. But when I got home yesterday the pool was infested with children and other people laying out...I don't like laying out when there's people there. Plus, I saw that all the chairs were taken. So I took it upon myself to work on my VUE.

I changed clothes and got to work. First I vacuumed what I could, my little hand held dirt devil isn't that great. But I got all the big stuff out. Then I dusted and polished the dashboard, steering wheel, arm rest, cup holders...I even got some toothpicks and dug the gross stuff that falls under my window button. It was such a great feeling. I even cleaned all the door and window frames where the car wash doesn't reach. Ahhh...it was magical. I got pretty gross and my hands were almost black when I was finished. But was definitely worth.

As I got in my car to drive to Austin to meet up with Lauren I just had a smile on my face because my car was beautiful. So if someone wants to ride in my car you must dust your feet and not spill anything!!!

Again, I was excited to get back into my car to go back home. Did you know that there's traffic at 10:30 at night on I35. RIDICULOUS!!! It took me 50 minutes to make a 25 minute drive back home. I was a little irritated. First the 3 lanes of I35 turned into 2 lanes....and then the 2 lanes turned into 1 lane!!! It was awful. But I got to talk to one of my brother's for a while which was nice. Did a little catch up with each other.

I also found out that he was hanging out with this guy that was just head over heels for in High School, so I was a little jealous about that...but I guess that will just give me some sort of excuse to go hang out with him sometime!!!

Check the Peep Hole before you step outside

It happened again this Sunday...I got another creepy letter from the creepy guy. This one wasn't as off the wall as the last one was...but I do "cry" alot in the letter and then eventually die. Not really something that I want to hear...but whatev.

I was handed the letter around some ladies in the kitchen on Sunday so I shared it with them and a few dads that were around. Thier first response was to get a restraining order immediately. Hearing that from a lawyer kind of freaked me out.

So yesterday I spent my lunch break at the Police Station. I sat with the same officer that had arrested this guy before and she's also the same one that spoke with me the last time I turned the letter in to a detective. Anyways...she was very nice and is just frustrated with this guy. Me Too! Well her advice on the restraining order is that the cops have spoken to him before but that didn't do anything and that if he was handed these paper that just might be the thing to "set him off". OK, I don't want to set him off...he's already crazy. But still...I don't see him staying away just because a piece of paper tells him to.

We've told his family about this and they've talked to him about...he just doesn't listen. So now I'm just on my guard. I check my peep-hole before I walk outside and I'm not at the church alone and...you know all the commen sense stuff to stay safe.

I showed my neighbor the letter and he said if it was his daughter he would go knock on this guy's door and tell him to leave me alone or he'll do some damage....
So he said if he needed too, he'll go give this guy a piece of him mind if he doesn't leave me alone. At least I'm being protected.

Some men from the church are supposed to sit down with him this Sunday and set him straight...hopefully that will work and I won't have to worry about this guy anymore.

UnEasy

So there's this guy...I can't remember if I've written about him before...I'm sure I have. Anyways...he makes me very uncomfortable. Just that way he acts and the way he shows up at different things.
He wrote a very random letter to me and put in on my windsheild one day. It was a little creapy, so I turned it into the police. Turns out he had written another girl a creapy letter and she also turned it into the police. Anyways...

Now he's calling me. He called me about 4 times this weekend. I didn't answer any of them because I knew it was him. Well he asked weird things when he calls. One of his calls was just to see if he got the message that he left a couple weeks ago....
Then he called to get a book back that he put on my desk.
Then he called to see if I wanted to hit golf balls with him.
Then he called to see if I wanted to go to a movie with him.
Then he called to say he gave me the wrong phone number to call.

Anyways...he just really bothers me. I know all I really need to do is tell him not to call me anymore. But I really don't want to talk to him.
Then during Sunday School on Sunday mornings he's always waiting for me in the same spot and then flags me down to see if I got all his messages. Ahhhh. "Sure, I got your messages"...no stop calling me.

I know there's something wrong with him and that I shouldn't judge or anything...but it's hard not to because I just get very uncomfortable around him.

Like I've Said Before

I don't know what's gotten into me...I think I've read about 8 books in the past month...I never realized how much I like to read...but I've found this one lady who I really like. Sarah Mlynowski...she's good. Good for my age. I wouldn't recommend her to my mom or anything because I would most likely be embarrassed if she read what I was reading. Anyways...

In this last book I read of hers titled "Milkrun" she brought up the point that every pot has a lid. I was just shocked. My grandmother is the only person that I have ever heard use that expression. I've said it to a couple friends and we joked about writing a book and calling it "Finding your Lid."

It was just great to see that other people use that expression. Kind of just made my day.




Life has been overwhelmingly positive lately and I just love it. I don't know if I'm just seeing a new outlook on life or what. But things are just going very well for me right now. I'm finally up for review at work and was told I would get a certain% pay increase upon my formal evaluation...that's awesome. Makes me feel wanted...that I'm doing something right and that they want me here.

And some old friends are coming into Austin, so that will be good to see some familiar faces. I guess he's really not an old friend...but we used to hang out. I'm not getting into detail for fear of sounding ridiculous. But that will be nice.

So, my brother and I have been trying to plan a summer trip together. First we planned on going to Vegas, but that turned into way too much money. So we decided on San Diego...yup that was expensive too. Stupid high gas prices are making our trips harder to do. I was really excited about this...it was going to me and my brothers. But so far it looks like not much is going to happen.
If someone has any suggestions as too a cheap place to go to would be...let me know.

Sabrina, Pyle, Me and Josh at TLU's graduation...December 2005 

I love it...

I love running into people on myspace. It's such a neat invention. I got an email from this guy that I worked with in Pennsylvania. I hadn't really seen him in like 3 years and then BAM...there he was. Anyways...I just get a kick out of all the old friends I run in to. It puts a smile on my face...

I also found this picture on a friends myspace. How fun is that...I would have never found it if I hadn't been roaming around!!

Anyways...it's just the little things in life that make me happy!

Old School

Another trip home...another great time.

One of my best friends from High School, Carrie, is getting married on July 1st and she had a wedding shower on Sunday afternoon. It was so great to see all those girls again that I went to school with. Just reminiscing about our times in high school and sharing what we're doing with our lives now. I see those girls every now and then, but it's very rare. We had so much fun together for those couple of years!!
I got another compliment saying that I looked like Sheryl Crow. That is one of my most favortite compliments because I seriously just adore that lady. Maybe I should start curling my hair more often. But that just put a smile on my face!!

I was supposed to meet up with my friend Wes afterwards, but apparently he had plans that he wasn't aware of and had to back out. Which I guess is fine, I was tired and was glad I got to sit around with my parents. But it would had been nice to get out and do something. Wes and I dated a couple times in college, but it wasn't really that big of a deal...so now whenever we see each other we just flirt a lot. So it's probably better that we didn't hang out.

Then I got to have lunch with my friend Courtney on Monday on my way back to Georgetown. We were roommates in College and we rarely get to see each other either. So it was just great to see so many people that I don't get to see often. Courtney tries to convince me every time I see her to move closer to San Antonio. It always crosses my mind every now and then because it would be so great to get to see those guy more often. Then I would be closer to my family. Plus, I know once the summer is over it's going to hit my like a brick wall that my friends aren't around anymore. I guess I'll just see what the future holds.

I also stopped and picked up my new upgraded phone. I spent way too much money, but -by golly- I was going to get a cool phone. Now...starting next month, I'll have internet, and text messaging, Sirius music and all other sorts of Neato stuff. Anyways...exciting stuff going on!!

Secrets don't make Friends...But Friends make Secrets

Last night as I was sitting in stupid traffic on I35 at 10:00 p.m. it kind of hit me...What am I going to do when Lauren's gone? She has definitely been a support system for me up here. I feel very close to her and you know what...we've really only be friends for about 2 years or so.

Anyways...we had our usually Wednesday evening meeting last night. And to be honest...it was definitely one of my favorites. I look back at our other Starbuck's conversations...they were all great...but this one was just really good. We really shared a lot about ourselves and our lives and it was just nice to have someone to do that with.

Personally I have been dealing with this "thing" for about a year now. I keep it to myself mostly out of embarrassment or stupidity or whatever. It was just so nice to actually just say it to someone. It doesn't make it go away...but just having that person listen to you and to have someone other than myself know that I have these thoughts, makes it a little comforting. Plus just being able to speak them is a bit of therapy.

I'm really going to miss our Starbuck's talks. Sadness...
It's funny to think what life is going to be like in about 5 years. To look back and think...Remember when we used to meet up at Starbucks and talk about what I life would be like now...It's going to be interesting.

I've really gotten into commercials lately. Mostly because you can't really get away from them, it's like 10 minutes of a TV show to 20 minutes of commercials. Anyways...some of them really draw me it. I guess mostly because I'm a girl and when one about a wedding comes on I'm very drawn to it. There was one about the Men's Warehouse, you know what I'm talking about. And it was saying how everyone's attention is on the flower's and the Bride and no one really looks at anything else. But while everyone is looking at the Bride...she's looking at you. How true...so you want to look your best.
I hope I'm like that...not looking around to make sure the flowers look right or that all my friends are there or whatever...I want to just be looking at whoever is standing at the front of the church waiting for me...

Ahhh....


"there has to be something
there has to be someone out there
there has to be an answer
a prescription a prayer."
-Custom

Child Birth...who knew?

I've learned that Child birth is nothing like what the movies make it out to be:
-Lady goes in pregnant
-Lady gets an epidural
-Lady pops out a Baby
-Lady and Baby go home

I have learned so much from one of my best friends about how this "miracle" really works. It's more like hours of pain and uncomfortableness. AND it's very disgusting, so I'm not really going to talk about it. But it almost in a way...makes me NOT want to have to go through all that pain and grossness.
Did you know that the baby can start peaking out...and then get sucked right back in? That would just piss me off. And if the epidural doesn't work...that's just awful.
It takes months for your body to get back to normal...and it's apparently a very uncomfortable time for the 6 weeks after the baby is out. Then you have to start worrying about how your going to lose all the weight you gained. I had no idea. The list just goes on with all the stuff that happens.

Now there are plenty of babies in my family but no one really goes into all the gross details about what really went on. Quite frankly...it's nuts. I saw a picture of a Placenta...now that's a gross body part. I realize that that is what the baby is living off of...but please...keep it covered.

I could go on and on about all the stuff that I learned...but seriously...no one wants to hear it. You have to experience it and actually get a child out of it to appreciate it. Right now...to me...it's just ridiculous.

Although, I heard from Becca's mother that "I'm a natural". I guess I just know the right way to handle a little baby because I've been through it 4 times with my cousins having children. I don't feel awkward to pick up and hold a baby. Diapers are another story...I'll take them while they're clean, thank you. I'm just ready to spoil the crap out of the precious baby and see her as much as I can because they'll leaving on May 25 for Colorado. Now that's quick.

So the openings for new girl friends for Becky is beginning. There's too many girls leaving me at the start of Summer and I'm going to need some replacements. Remember you need to be in the Austin area to apply because long distance just isn't going to cut it...OK....Great. I'll get applications out as soon as I put something together.

I just have to Brag a little more

I'm so happy to see her!! 

What a sweet girl!! 

I just can't seem to get enough of her 

Her Mamma loves her too!! 

Little sleepy head 

I Love her SOOO much already!! 

New Life

As promised...
Here's a little sneak peak of the beautiful Elicia Cox...She's gonna be a heart breaker isn't she...

I also put up some other fun pictures to check out!!

Aunty Becky says her first Hello!! 

Yup...That's one beautiful Baby Girl!! 

Daddy's calming touch 

Don't cry Elicia...Daddy's here. 

Daddy holding baby's foot...what a difference. 

All over the Place

Goodness it's just been one thing after the other here. . .

Got to go home for a couple nights before Easter to spend some time with the family. All 6 of us where there for lunch this past Saturday...that doesn't really happen seeing as our work schedule is all over the place. But I'm glad everything worked out. Had some delicious ribs and quality time together as a family. I miss that. We usually only do that at holidays...we used to do that EVERY DAY for dinner when we were all at home.

For some reason we really got into playing dominoes this weekend. We never play dominoes, but my mom bought a set and we all just really enjoyed it. Friday after church my parents and I stayed up until after midnight playing. My parents usually don't stay up past 10:30, so it was a big deal.

Easter Sunday was great. I had never been out on Easter Sunday because we're always doing Family stuff, but Lauren and I tried to do some entertaining stuff...but all the parking lots were empty. I guess I'm glad they were, because they should be respectful of the Holiday. Anyways...

I had yesterday off and it was very productive. I bought new tires for my VUE, did a little shopping to treat myself...New shoes. I LOVE shoes, and I haven't really bought "good" shoes in a while, so I spend the $50 on them and I'm wearing them today...they're too cute. Then I went to the movies. I saw "The Benchwarmers". It was a pretty good movie, not really what I expected so I'm glad I only paid $2.75 to see it.

I got a phone call yesterday from a gentleman named Ryan. Now Ryan is a teacher at one of my girls schools and was given my name and number by this girls mother. Everyone thinks that it is their place to fix me up with whoever comes into their path. Anyways...we talked for a while. He sounds nice enough...but sometimes that's just a little scary to be put in this type of situation. I have no idea what he looks like or anything!!! I guess we'll do dinner or coffee sometime. We'll see how this goes...

Lastly...I'm an AUNT!!! I guess not Technically an "aunt" because it wasn't my brother's who had a baby, but close enough. One of my best friends, Becca had a beautiful baby girl last night. Seriously, I already love her so much. There were a little complications, so when I went to see her I couldn't hold her because of fevers and tests and what nots, but I'll hopefully go back later tonight and hold her.
Now I hate to say this, but there are some ugly babies out there. But this one...oh man, this one is perfect. She's just a pretty baby. She has all her fingers and toes and eyes and elbows. I hate that I don't have a digital camera because I want to show you all how gorgeous she is. But you'll just have to put on your patient pants until I can get them developed. I guess that will be my next investment...a Digital Camera.

Love Monkey

I've gotten into this new thing called reading. And as much as I used to say I hate reading, I kind of like it now. I've read a few books this month alone, I just go through them like it's no big deal. Anyways...my old boss Sam-E was reading this book called, "Love Monkey" by Kyle Smith. It's a book written for guys from a guys perspective.

This intrigued me. Mostly because Sam-E said I probably wouldn't like it. So, I got online and bought it, cheap.

I just finished it. It's about a guy's dating life in New York. It weird to see how guys think compared to how I think. He goes through girls like it's no big deal, but he really only Truly wants to be with one of them...and of course she has a terrible boy friend that she's not going to leave for this guy that would treat her like a queen...Yes, girls are like that.

Anyways...one of the quotes that stuck out to me was: Do I really want to know what I'm missing? This guy really did want to know what he's missing. And I'm thinking to myself...No, because once you have it...you're always going to want it. Of course he was talking about sex, I'm just thinking of the companionship and the love between two people. (but I'm a girl and I think differently from guys).

Now, I'm always one to lend my advice to anyone that is seeking...but I rarely EVER listen to myself. Of course I would want to know what I'm missing. Just to experience for a split second and have that moment of happiness than a lifetime of just settling. Know what I mean? But then..it's always the same thing...you go back to that moment in time. You want that same experience over and over again and compare anything that comes close to it as not being that same.
Nothing is ever going to compare and then you're always going to be miserable. But as a girl, I don't listen to myself...Whatev.

Another thing on my mind that just kind of hit me...I totally want a baby. Now I'm not being stupid or anything, but I've be around a few toddler's and I'm thinking, Oh my Gosh, I can't wait to have one of these. Of course I won't even think about seriously having a child until after being married for a while...but still.

Then I'm thinking, what kind of mother am I going to be? Of course I want my child to be independant and self sure and all that wonderful stuff...but I just know that I'm going to want to do everything for my child so that they have a perfect life. I guess we'll just see when the time comes.
Then I was thinking...Lauren could totally marry my when I get married. But I think I would like her to do something else at my wedding....I guess that's if I ever meet someone that makes me not want to be so darn independant.

Oh yea another thing that I got upset about...I mean, not depressed or anything. I went to an auction on Friday night and decided to bid on this ONE good item: Dinner for six at the Fire Station prepared by the Fire Men!!! How Awesome would that have been?!! Dinner with Hot fire men!!! But I lost... I wasn't willing to give them enough money. Oh well...
But it was a great idea, I thought.