I'm sorry Chris...it's taken me a while to get a write up out about my White Elephant gift. I had been sad for so long that I had never received it...well...it came over the holiday's while I was out of my apartment and it had been held in the complex office for the few days that I was gone.
I picked it up on January 2nd or 3rd, I can't remember because last week was kind of shady for me.
But as soon as I walked in the apartment office and saw the pile of boxes that had been delivered over the holidays, I saw my special box that was right on top. Becky Moczygemba was scribbled on it. Not really, the hand writing was very nice. It was a nice box, cute in size. (sorry, I just like boxes for some reason).
Those three flights of stairs to my door took a while because I was excited and carrying a bunch of stuff. As soon as I got in the door I put my stuff down and picked up Peanut, she sat in my lap as I opened my box. I had to get up and get some scissors because it was taped pretty good.
A note was the first thing I saw as I opened the box, an artistically drawn reindeer with the words Merry Christmas written above it. "Yea!" I said.
Under the drawing was my gift.
Now this is no ordinary gift. It was something that my brother's and I had tried to do growing up and never really had success.
I'll give you clues:
It's round
It's about 5 or 6 inches in diameter
It can bounce really well, my neighbors underneath me most likely weren't happy that I was bouncing it on my kitchen floor.
It's pretty heavy
OK....I'll tell you what it is.
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
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*
...it's a rubberband ball.
It was amazing. I had never seen one this big in my life. Peanut enjoyed crawling on it and sniffing around on it. It was very interesting to her.
Thank you Chris for this lovely gift. It has hours of intertainment rolled up in it.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Life in the Fast Lane
I don't even know where to begin. Life has been throwing punches at me for the past couple of days and I just feel the bruises coming up. I just need to sleep for 24 hours, because maybe when I wake up everything will be fine.
I had a nice visit at home with my family. It's always nice to see them and be around people that I love and that love me. That's just an awesome feeling.
Coming back...now that's another story.
Work has made me nervous, uncomfortable, weary, ganged up on and at the same time, I'm excited to be back and start a new year. I have had some uncomfortable situations come up while meeting with my youth. I had some "adults" observe and intervene with my night. It was, to me, really rude and un-called for. I don't like that people just assume they can come up and interupt my group because they want things done a certain way. I was so upset and just steamed Sunday night and it really isn't getting any better.
I have been having meetings non-stop it seems. I'm scared of my meeting tomorrow. It's with my Committee chair and then apparently whoever else just feels like showing up. SCARY. From what I've heard around the way...I should be a little scared. Apparently I'm not pulling enough weight around here. Whatever that means. I've been working like crazy the past couple months. I'm sorry to all you families that don't have children that don't see all the work I do. My evaluation has also been postponed. It should have been last month and I haven't heard any talk of when it is going to be. Yuck...now, that's a scary feeling. Hopefully I'm just analyzing things too much and it's not going to big of a deal. But then again...maybe it's good that I am so that I can prepare myself. What a sinking feeling.
I also mentioned to my boss today about the "lonliness" feeling. I don't think he took me very literally...or maybe it was too literally. He suggested that I go on eHarmony.com to try and find someone in the area to meet. I'm looking into it. Mostly just for grins.
Anyways...things have been a tad stressful the past couple days and I've really been shutting myself out because I just don't really know how to deal with everything that is going on. But I ask you all for prayers of strength for my meeting tomorrow, and just for support for whatever happens.
I had a nice visit at home with my family. It's always nice to see them and be around people that I love and that love me. That's just an awesome feeling.
Coming back...now that's another story.
Work has made me nervous, uncomfortable, weary, ganged up on and at the same time, I'm excited to be back and start a new year. I have had some uncomfortable situations come up while meeting with my youth. I had some "adults" observe and intervene with my night. It was, to me, really rude and un-called for. I don't like that people just assume they can come up and interupt my group because they want things done a certain way. I was so upset and just steamed Sunday night and it really isn't getting any better.
I have been having meetings non-stop it seems. I'm scared of my meeting tomorrow. It's with my Committee chair and then apparently whoever else just feels like showing up. SCARY. From what I've heard around the way...I should be a little scared. Apparently I'm not pulling enough weight around here. Whatever that means. I've been working like crazy the past couple months. I'm sorry to all you families that don't have children that don't see all the work I do. My evaluation has also been postponed. It should have been last month and I haven't heard any talk of when it is going to be. Yuck...now, that's a scary feeling. Hopefully I'm just analyzing things too much and it's not going to big of a deal. But then again...maybe it's good that I am so that I can prepare myself. What a sinking feeling.
I also mentioned to my boss today about the "lonliness" feeling. I don't think he took me very literally...or maybe it was too literally. He suggested that I go on eHarmony.com to try and find someone in the area to meet. I'm looking into it. Mostly just for grins.
Anyways...things have been a tad stressful the past couple days and I've really been shutting myself out because I just don't really know how to deal with everything that is going on. But I ask you all for prayers of strength for my meeting tomorrow, and just for support for whatever happens.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Spell It Out
Well it's almost midnight and I just arrived back home in the great...well, the town of Floresville. It's a nice place to come and visit. I haven't been up this late in a while, except for last night when Kyle and Brandon and I went to see "The Family Stone". I'm tired, but I know I won't get to sleep, so I might as well be a little productive. I'll start by why I'm back home.
Last weekend (Sunday the 1st to be exact) I talked with my mother about my work I did over the Holiday season and she begins to tell me about Liz's mom. Liz is married to one of my Best friends, Keith. Keith's mom and my mom have been best friends since the 8th. Long time family friends. Liz's mom has cancer and the doctors said she was getting better. Turns out, she wasn't. On Sunday my mother told me that it was so bad that they were only giving her a couple WEEKS to live. That's bad. I watched my Grandfather die of cancer, but that took about 6 years for it to actually take him.
My mother continues to tell me that she just HATES the word "CANCER". So much so that as she is talking, her voice is cracking. Now I consider my mother to be a very strong person (and she is) but certain things really get to her. Such as, Cancer. She was 47 when her dad died of Cancer and she was just very upset that a 21 year old girl was having to watch her mother die of it.
Anyways...
Liz's mom died on Wednesday. A couple of weeks turned into three days. How rough is that?
So I had two hours of driving to think about this.
I'm 23, and I don't know what I would do if I had to watch anyone of my parents suffer/die from cancer. That is a scary/horrible/sad thing to have to go through. Then I thought how different I would act if my parents did have cancer. Why is that? Why should we only be good and share our appreciation with them only because they're sick? That is something that we should do daily and not have to think about doing. I love my parents to death, but I can't even tell you the last time that I said "I love you" to either one of them. We just don't do that in my family. We all know that we love each other, but we just don't actually come out and say the words. Isn't that sad?
I think it's terrible. I definitely take for granted that my parents are healthy and there for me whenever I need them. I hate that. I don't know what I would do if I lost one of them right now. I wouldn't be able to function for a long time. I sometimes have a hard enough time as it is now, but I can always call them, or drive down if I need to. I wouldn't be able to do that if they weren't here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to start telling people how I really feel about them. Not just occasionally, but all the time. You never know what is going to happen. I love all you guys out there and I appreciate everything about you.
I hope no one has to go through was Liz is going through right now. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day, just because I am so sad to see someone so young lose a parent. Her children won't have that grandmother, Liz won't have her mother. I could go on and on. I just need to be thankful that I have a healthy and loving family...
God Bless...
Last weekend (Sunday the 1st to be exact) I talked with my mother about my work I did over the Holiday season and she begins to tell me about Liz's mom. Liz is married to one of my Best friends, Keith. Keith's mom and my mom have been best friends since the 8th. Long time family friends. Liz's mom has cancer and the doctors said she was getting better. Turns out, she wasn't. On Sunday my mother told me that it was so bad that they were only giving her a couple WEEKS to live. That's bad. I watched my Grandfather die of cancer, but that took about 6 years for it to actually take him.
My mother continues to tell me that she just HATES the word "CANCER". So much so that as she is talking, her voice is cracking. Now I consider my mother to be a very strong person (and she is) but certain things really get to her. Such as, Cancer. She was 47 when her dad died of Cancer and she was just very upset that a 21 year old girl was having to watch her mother die of it.
Anyways...
Liz's mom died on Wednesday. A couple of weeks turned into three days. How rough is that?
So I had two hours of driving to think about this.
I'm 23, and I don't know what I would do if I had to watch anyone of my parents suffer/die from cancer. That is a scary/horrible/sad thing to have to go through. Then I thought how different I would act if my parents did have cancer. Why is that? Why should we only be good and share our appreciation with them only because they're sick? That is something that we should do daily and not have to think about doing. I love my parents to death, but I can't even tell you the last time that I said "I love you" to either one of them. We just don't do that in my family. We all know that we love each other, but we just don't actually come out and say the words. Isn't that sad?
I think it's terrible. I definitely take for granted that my parents are healthy and there for me whenever I need them. I hate that. I don't know what I would do if I lost one of them right now. I wouldn't be able to function for a long time. I sometimes have a hard enough time as it is now, but I can always call them, or drive down if I need to. I wouldn't be able to do that if they weren't here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to start telling people how I really feel about them. Not just occasionally, but all the time. You never know what is going to happen. I love all you guys out there and I appreciate everything about you.
I hope no one has to go through was Liz is going through right now. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day, just because I am so sad to see someone so young lose a parent. Her children won't have that grandmother, Liz won't have her mother. I could go on and on. I just need to be thankful that I have a healthy and loving family...
God Bless...
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
What's the word?
I don't know how to explain it, the feeling just comes and goes. My first year of being on my own was awesome. I was strong and independent and didn't let things get to me. Boy has that changed. I still consider myself to be a very strong person-I have to, I'm on my own. But there are just days where I feel completely alone. Maybe it just has something to do with being a girl. We always need that sense of security, to know that we're wanted or supported (I don't really know what it is).
I grew up with three brothers and so I've always had many guy friends. Even in college, most of my friends were guys. Which was great, I never had to impress them. There wasn't the intimidation factor and so there was no competition like there is when you're friends with girls. Well this past week at the youth gathering that I helped plan I got to hang out with my old boss. Now we're friends because we're colleagues, and every summer I get to see him at camp and hang out with other former staff. Girls don't really get in on this group for reasons I won't get in to.
Well last week we got to play poker (which is something they usually do anyways). Something came up about playing a certain poker game in the future and I asked if I would get to be a part of it because it's usually a guy thing, and my friend says: "Of course, you're one of the guys".
For being such simple words, they kind of hurt. Why am I always just "one of the guys"? Sometimes it would be nice to be a "Girl" and treated like one.
But back to my lonely story, Last night was just one of those "lonely feeling" nights. I think it's more of a personal thing that needs dealing with because I had stuff I could have been doing-but it's also one of those things where I needed to be alone.
I would just sit on my couch thinking-I need to get out and meet people and so something with my social life, or get a Hobby. Something. But Austin is a little far to go sometimes because there's no social scenes in my area.
So if there are any offers or suggestions to get me out....lay 'em on me.
I grew up with three brothers and so I've always had many guy friends. Even in college, most of my friends were guys. Which was great, I never had to impress them. There wasn't the intimidation factor and so there was no competition like there is when you're friends with girls. Well this past week at the youth gathering that I helped plan I got to hang out with my old boss. Now we're friends because we're colleagues, and every summer I get to see him at camp and hang out with other former staff. Girls don't really get in on this group for reasons I won't get in to.
Well last week we got to play poker (which is something they usually do anyways). Something came up about playing a certain poker game in the future and I asked if I would get to be a part of it because it's usually a guy thing, and my friend says: "Of course, you're one of the guys".
For being such simple words, they kind of hurt. Why am I always just "one of the guys"? Sometimes it would be nice to be a "Girl" and treated like one.
But back to my lonely story, Last night was just one of those "lonely feeling" nights. I think it's more of a personal thing that needs dealing with because I had stuff I could have been doing-but it's also one of those things where I needed to be alone.
I would just sit on my couch thinking-I need to get out and meet people and so something with my social life, or get a Hobby. Something. But Austin is a little far to go sometimes because there's no social scenes in my area.
So if there are any offers or suggestions to get me out....lay 'em on me.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
TOO MUCH...
So much has happened in the last two weeks that I'm not even going to go into any sort of detail until something majorly exciting pops into my mind. So I'll just recap my last few events.
- Went home for Christmas. Got to hang out with all of my family. Didn't really get to run into any old friends, but just as well. Didn't get much sleep because I now live in the living room when I go home.
- My uncle tries to set me up with a 37 year old friend of his brother's. I say a big NO to that one.
- Got to see the Polar Express for the first time...in 3-D at the Imax no less and it was awesome!!
- Went to my first Fondu party. YUM!!
- Left home the day after Christmas to go to the Senior High Gathering.
- Got an incredibly rude "yelling" from my male sponsor. I'm not talking to him at the moment.
- Had an awesome time staying up until 1:00 every night and waking up at 6:45 every morning to work my 18 hour days. But whatever, I think everything was a huge success.
- Got back home from the gathering and slept for hours.
- Went to Laurens for New Years!!! Good Times! Good Times!
- Bought a bigger TV with my Christmas bonus and have been watching movies for the past couple days.
- Met a college buddy to watch the Notre Dame v. Ohio State game. Bad game, but GREAT company!!
- Now it's off to purchase "Wedding Crasher's" and sit in my apartment and do nothing for the rest of the day!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
When's My Vacation?
Yea for Christmas!! Got to hang out with the whole family for a while and that's always nice. Although, very tiring. Going home is almost a hassle at times. I don't have a room there anymore because it is now taken over by Andy, which is fine, he needs somewhere to live. But that means I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. Not one of the best sleeping arrangements I've ever had, but it beats sleeping in the tile floor or the couch. So I didn't really get any "good" sleep for those 4 nights. But that's alright, because I wasn't at work and I was enjoying my time with the fam.
I got some good pics, but those will have to come later because I do real film and not digital.
I didn't really get to see any friends from high school while I was down. Things are really different between those friends and I. Mostly it's because they're either married or engaged and just don't do ANYTHING EVER. So I'm stuck at home, which isn't bad. But you know...it would be nice to go out and be social. Thanksgiving was nice and I got to go out, but I hung out with people from another town, and not people I went to HS with. It's whatev.
Now it's off to Kerrville for three nights. Texas lil' slice o' Hot and I have just planned an event for all the high school kiddo's in our Synod. Pray that it all goes well.
I called my planning team partner last night to see if there were any last minute things that I needed to take care of...get this...she changed almost everything for the three days of presentations. So basically, I don't really know what's going on anymore. Which, I guess is OK because then I'm not the one stressing over what is going on. I'll just hang out and eat the candy canes that I'm bringing along. That should be fun.
Things should get back to a more normal pace sometime after the new year. Hopefully, Lauren and I will get to take a trip to relax after all of this stress...Watch out East Coast!!
Alright, my girlies are showing up...I'll get back to you guys in a couple days!!
I got some good pics, but those will have to come later because I do real film and not digital.
I didn't really get to see any friends from high school while I was down. Things are really different between those friends and I. Mostly it's because they're either married or engaged and just don't do ANYTHING EVER. So I'm stuck at home, which isn't bad. But you know...it would be nice to go out and be social. Thanksgiving was nice and I got to go out, but I hung out with people from another town, and not people I went to HS with. It's whatev.
Now it's off to Kerrville for three nights. Texas lil' slice o' Hot and I have just planned an event for all the high school kiddo's in our Synod. Pray that it all goes well.
I called my planning team partner last night to see if there were any last minute things that I needed to take care of...get this...she changed almost everything for the three days of presentations. So basically, I don't really know what's going on anymore. Which, I guess is OK because then I'm not the one stressing over what is going on. I'll just hang out and eat the candy canes that I'm bringing along. That should be fun.
Things should get back to a more normal pace sometime after the new year. Hopefully, Lauren and I will get to take a trip to relax after all of this stress...Watch out East Coast!!
Alright, my girlies are showing up...I'll get back to you guys in a couple days!!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Christmas is All Around
"I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
That Christmas is all around me
And so the feeling grows
It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it snow"
From one of the greatest movies EVER. I love Love Actually, it's such a great holiday movie, and not even during the holiday's it's a great movie.
I just got back from a Deliciously Free lunch with Lauren. We had to get our 'fix' of each other before we left for the holiday. She shared her Christmas fantasy in a previous blog and it got me thinking of what I would want as a Christmas fantasy.
Besides the basic one of being with all of my family around the dinner table just goofing off and sharing memories I've had a hard time coming up with something. I think when it comes to "Fantasies" I can't divide them into holidays. I have my dreams of what I would like to do with someone that I love, but when it comes to holiday's, I really do just want to be with my family and the rest of the people that I love.
I have fantasies...I'm going to change that word to imagine, because I'm not really liking that word, fantasy. I imagine going to a tropical location and just not doing anything, and I also imagine going to the mountains or to the city and just traveling in general.
I have alway wanted to go to Rockafella (that's my ghetto side) center in New York and seeing the huge tree and seeing all the decorations, but I wouldn't want to be there on Christmas day. I want to be wherever my family is. Unless I could get my whole family up there at once.
Although I think it would be neat to do something like that when I first get married, because then there's no extra baggage (kids) and we could still play it off as part of the honey moon era. I guess I should just quit dreaming because it just gets me hyped up and then I'm back to where I'm at...going home to an empty apartment. Which is great...but just another reminder that I'm still somewhat "alone". Which I'm not too sad about anymore. I need to start taking advantage of the fact that I get to do whatever I want with my life right now. YEA!!!
So what do I want to do with my life right now??....
I have options and I have ideas and I have dreams...it's just following through with one of them and being happy with what I do. I just need to find my rockstar to sweep me off my feet...so if you're out there...I'm here and I'm waiting!!
I feel it in my toes
That Christmas is all around me
And so the feeling grows
It's written on the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me
Come on and let it snow"
From one of the greatest movies EVER. I love Love Actually, it's such a great holiday movie, and not even during the holiday's it's a great movie.
I just got back from a Deliciously Free lunch with Lauren. We had to get our 'fix' of each other before we left for the holiday. She shared her Christmas fantasy in a previous blog and it got me thinking of what I would want as a Christmas fantasy.
Besides the basic one of being with all of my family around the dinner table just goofing off and sharing memories I've had a hard time coming up with something. I think when it comes to "Fantasies" I can't divide them into holidays. I have my dreams of what I would like to do with someone that I love, but when it comes to holiday's, I really do just want to be with my family and the rest of the people that I love.
I have fantasies...I'm going to change that word to imagine, because I'm not really liking that word, fantasy. I imagine going to a tropical location and just not doing anything, and I also imagine going to the mountains or to the city and just traveling in general.
I have alway wanted to go to Rockafella (that's my ghetto side) center in New York and seeing the huge tree and seeing all the decorations, but I wouldn't want to be there on Christmas day. I want to be wherever my family is. Unless I could get my whole family up there at once.
Although I think it would be neat to do something like that when I first get married, because then there's no extra baggage (kids) and we could still play it off as part of the honey moon era. I guess I should just quit dreaming because it just gets me hyped up and then I'm back to where I'm at...going home to an empty apartment. Which is great...but just another reminder that I'm still somewhat "alone". Which I'm not too sad about anymore. I need to start taking advantage of the fact that I get to do whatever I want with my life right now. YEA!!!
So what do I want to do with my life right now??....
I have options and I have ideas and I have dreams...it's just following through with one of them and being happy with what I do. I just need to find my rockstar to sweep me off my feet...so if you're out there...I'm here and I'm waiting!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Parent's Just Don't Understand
It's funny how you just have this certain respect for adults and take them a little more serious than you do your own parents. Or, maybe that's just me.
I share a lot well, actually, most of my life, with my parents. I like to keep them updated and hear what they have to say about what is going on in my life. But I don't always think I'm really listening and using what they're telling me.
My neighbor invited me over last night, which he does every now and then, to talk about what is going on in our life. We sit either at his table outside or, like last night, at his table inside and have a beer. He's always very curious about what is going on in my life.
Then he tells me about what he had a guy tell him the other day. He said that life gives so much to us. Which means, we should give back to life. How do you give back to life you ask? You LIVE IT. That's all life asks of us, is just to live. Not to just exist or survive...but LIVE.
Am I really living? I don't know if I am or not. I'm happy for the most part, I love where I'm at, but am I actually living? I'm not like my neighbor where I travel all over Mexico and the United States every couple of months. Yes, I have traveled a lot this year, but half of that was work related. How do you live, what is living to us?
Right now, it's just surviving and existing. But I'm also living...
He's also concerned that I'm not dating anyone...what kind of parent woud get concerned if their child wasn't dating anyone? I sat and talked/listened to my neighbor for a good hour before I left. I asked if he talks the same way to his daughter (we're about the same age) and he says that she just tells him to shut-up. I think I would have told my dad that too. So why do we listen and take into account what other parent figures tell us. It's weird. I would have thought that parents would have more pull on the advice and listening...I don't know.
I do love my parents and listen to them ALL the time...but sometimes it's just good to hear from another person.
So to all of you out there...Start LIVING!!!
I share a lot well, actually, most of my life, with my parents. I like to keep them updated and hear what they have to say about what is going on in my life. But I don't always think I'm really listening and using what they're telling me.
My neighbor invited me over last night, which he does every now and then, to talk about what is going on in our life. We sit either at his table outside or, like last night, at his table inside and have a beer. He's always very curious about what is going on in my life.
Then he tells me about what he had a guy tell him the other day. He said that life gives so much to us. Which means, we should give back to life. How do you give back to life you ask? You LIVE IT. That's all life asks of us, is just to live. Not to just exist or survive...but LIVE.
Am I really living? I don't know if I am or not. I'm happy for the most part, I love where I'm at, but am I actually living? I'm not like my neighbor where I travel all over Mexico and the United States every couple of months. Yes, I have traveled a lot this year, but half of that was work related. How do you live, what is living to us?
Right now, it's just surviving and existing. But I'm also living...
He's also concerned that I'm not dating anyone...what kind of parent woud get concerned if their child wasn't dating anyone? I sat and talked/listened to my neighbor for a good hour before I left. I asked if he talks the same way to his daughter (we're about the same age) and he says that she just tells him to shut-up. I think I would have told my dad that too. So why do we listen and take into account what other parent figures tell us. It's weird. I would have thought that parents would have more pull on the advice and listening...I don't know.
I do love my parents and listen to them ALL the time...but sometimes it's just good to hear from another person.
So to all of you out there...Start LIVING!!!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
It's just you and me
I'm EXHAUSTED...
I don't think I was expecting to get tired like this. I don't understand how people who actually "work" for a living, survive. I mean, this is only a part of the year, but to actually have to be active all day, every day, for 12 hours...I'd die. Seriously.
But on a happy note, I got to see some great old friends this weekend. One of my old college roommates graduated from Texas Lutheran University this weekend and so a bunch of the old "crew" was there. It was so nice to get to see them. Shout Out to ROSS HOGG...I'm excited that you graduated. I'm excited for Lindsay, but I wasn't really worried about her getting out of school. I even ran into a guy that I went to junior college with and then a lady that goes to my church back home. It was weird, but exciting to see people that I don't ever see.
Tonight is my high school Christmas Party and I'm getting excited. I'm tired, but I really love this group of kiddos. They're amazing. They can definitely be a handful at times, but I love them all.
This week is going to be another busy one, but I hope to actually write something good later on. I'm sure these are boring you all. But I didn't want to neglet this too much.
I don't think I was expecting to get tired like this. I don't understand how people who actually "work" for a living, survive. I mean, this is only a part of the year, but to actually have to be active all day, every day, for 12 hours...I'd die. Seriously.
But on a happy note, I got to see some great old friends this weekend. One of my old college roommates graduated from Texas Lutheran University this weekend and so a bunch of the old "crew" was there. It was so nice to get to see them. Shout Out to ROSS HOGG...I'm excited that you graduated. I'm excited for Lindsay, but I wasn't really worried about her getting out of school. I even ran into a guy that I went to junior college with and then a lady that goes to my church back home. It was weird, but exciting to see people that I don't ever see.
Tonight is my high school Christmas Party and I'm getting excited. I'm tired, but I really love this group of kiddos. They're amazing. They can definitely be a handful at times, but I love them all.
This week is going to be another busy one, but I hope to actually write something good later on. I'm sure these are boring you all. But I didn't want to neglet this too much.
Friday, December 16, 2005
I'm going Crazy...
I haven't work this much in my life...welll, maybe I have, but it's been a while. It's just been ridiculously long days, and most of the time I'm not in the office. I just go, go, go all day.
Yesterday was seriously just TOO much. Going to a network meeting an hour away, staying there for 4 hours and then coming back. (The meeting went great, there were awesome people there) But then I get back to town to run errands for this event at the end of the month. Finally at about 5:45, we're bushed and go home. Just to get a phone call to do dinner. Which I needed to do. It was with a woman at church who I "spill my soul" to, and I really needed that last night. Only to get home at about 8:15 to get another phone call to go out. I just wanted to lay down, but I knew I would be pissed if I didn't go out. So I went out for a couple hours to do Kareoke. NO, I didn't sing, but I supported everyone who did.
Crap...gotta jet...off to Austin to work....
I hope to catch everyone up at some point in time.
I'm still alive...just not around.
Yesterday was seriously just TOO much. Going to a network meeting an hour away, staying there for 4 hours and then coming back. (The meeting went great, there were awesome people there) But then I get back to town to run errands for this event at the end of the month. Finally at about 5:45, we're bushed and go home. Just to get a phone call to do dinner. Which I needed to do. It was with a woman at church who I "spill my soul" to, and I really needed that last night. Only to get home at about 8:15 to get another phone call to go out. I just wanted to lay down, but I knew I would be pissed if I didn't go out. So I went out for a couple hours to do Kareoke. NO, I didn't sing, but I supported everyone who did.
Crap...gotta jet...off to Austin to work....
I hope to catch everyone up at some point in time.
I'm still alive...just not around.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Instructions for Life
This is what the Dalai Lama had to say for 2005 and I thought they were all great.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three R's
Respect for self
Respect for other's
Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
8. Spend some time alone every day
9. Open arms change, but don't let go of your values
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get old and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality
15. Be gentle with the earth
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in where the love for each other exceeds your need for each other
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
Some are little things and some are big things, but they all mean so much.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three R's
Respect for self
Respect for other's
Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
8. Spend some time alone every day
9. Open arms change, but don't let go of your values
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get old and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality
15. Be gentle with the earth
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in where the love for each other exceeds your need for each other
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
Some are little things and some are big things, but they all mean so much.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Same Name
I've been having the worst time trying to fall asleep the past couple of nights. I just can't seem to shut my brain off to let myself relax and sleep. It's driving me crazy, because it makes me a little sleepy. So last night my thoughts turned into names and people that I've encountered in my life...mostly boys. The same names keep reappearing so maybe I just need to take a hint when I hear these names.
I'll start back at the summer after 4th grade, I was at Camp Chrysalis for my first time ever as a camper. (I know take my kiddo's there in the summer...special)
So it was the night of the dance and this one boy in my older brother's cabin asked me to dance to some country song. His name was Matt and he was so cute. Maybe he wasn't, but in 4th grade he was very cute to me. That was my first Matt encounter.
Matt #2 didn't come until college. I dated his suite mate and therefore hung out in the same area as him a lot of times. Well he had an amazing personality that I could just sit and talk with for hours. But he always asked me when we were going to 'make out'...so it got weird. But he's still awesome.
Matt #3 was also in college. This time, he was younger than me. But looked like Chris Carraba, which really drew me to him. We hung out a bit, but then I found out he had a girl friend, and so that wasn't that great.
Matt #4 was right after I graduated college and he was a coach at the university that I went to. He was older and would come over to our house and hit on my roommate and I just thought he was creepy.
Matt #5...Detroit...and that's all I'll say.
Next Boy we come too...TRAVIS.
Travis #1 was in high school and he was my first real kiss. I grew up in a town where you are either a farmer, in band or in athletics. I was neither. He was a runner. Awwww...he was something else.
Travis #2. My best friend had a huge crush on him and finally got to date him. They dated for a while. Then I got a phone call from him one day saying that he broke up with her because he liked me too much. Yuck, I felt gross. Not to mention, my best friend just got dumped.
Travis #3. Was from a different school and dated one of my friends from school and started to call me to hang out. I apologize to any girl that got dumped by a Travis because of me...it's not my fault, and NO, I didn't date either one of them after they broke up with these beautifully amazing girls.
Next Boy...Chris.
Chris #1 worked at my University that I went to, but not while I was there. I met him through other people. We hung out a couple times...he hit on me. He had a girlfriend for a couple years and he still cheated on her with a couple girls. Get a life.
Chris #2....from Wisconsin. Sweet as can be. But again...out of state.
Kris #3...South Carolina. Again, sweet as can be, but out of state.
It's the same names to me over and over. I guess I need to run when I hear some of these names. They really are all great guys. Just need some growing up to do. Well, not all of them, but some. I need to get a new list of names I guess.
I'll start back at the summer after 4th grade, I was at Camp Chrysalis for my first time ever as a camper. (I know take my kiddo's there in the summer...special)
So it was the night of the dance and this one boy in my older brother's cabin asked me to dance to some country song. His name was Matt and he was so cute. Maybe he wasn't, but in 4th grade he was very cute to me. That was my first Matt encounter.
Matt #2 didn't come until college. I dated his suite mate and therefore hung out in the same area as him a lot of times. Well he had an amazing personality that I could just sit and talk with for hours. But he always asked me when we were going to 'make out'...so it got weird. But he's still awesome.
Matt #3 was also in college. This time, he was younger than me. But looked like Chris Carraba, which really drew me to him. We hung out a bit, but then I found out he had a girl friend, and so that wasn't that great.
Matt #4 was right after I graduated college and he was a coach at the university that I went to. He was older and would come over to our house and hit on my roommate and I just thought he was creepy.
Matt #5...Detroit...and that's all I'll say.
Next Boy we come too...TRAVIS.
Travis #1 was in high school and he was my first real kiss. I grew up in a town where you are either a farmer, in band or in athletics. I was neither. He was a runner. Awwww...he was something else.
Travis #2. My best friend had a huge crush on him and finally got to date him. They dated for a while. Then I got a phone call from him one day saying that he broke up with her because he liked me too much. Yuck, I felt gross. Not to mention, my best friend just got dumped.
Travis #3. Was from a different school and dated one of my friends from school and started to call me to hang out. I apologize to any girl that got dumped by a Travis because of me...it's not my fault, and NO, I didn't date either one of them after they broke up with these beautifully amazing girls.
Next Boy...Chris.
Chris #1 worked at my University that I went to, but not while I was there. I met him through other people. We hung out a couple times...he hit on me. He had a girlfriend for a couple years and he still cheated on her with a couple girls. Get a life.
Chris #2....from Wisconsin. Sweet as can be. But again...out of state.
Kris #3...South Carolina. Again, sweet as can be, but out of state.
It's the same names to me over and over. I guess I need to run when I hear some of these names. They really are all great guys. Just need some growing up to do. Well, not all of them, but some. I need to get a new list of names I guess.
Friday, December 09, 2005
A Few Questions
A couple of things that I have been pondering the past couple of days...
1. How much do I need new tires?
2. How much do I love my Saturn?
3. How do you drive on ice?
Question 1: I need new tires pretty bad. My dad has told me this that past three times I've seen him...which is over a period of a couple of months. I have no traction what so ever...especially when it comes to driving on ice, and as I was staring at the oncoming traffic on I35 it became very clear that I will very soon need new tires if I can't even go straight on a straight road....which brings me to my question number 2...
Question 2: Saturn has these dent resistant panels that it's made of. One of the most cleve inventions EVER. After slipping and sliding all over I35 with no control whatsoever of my vehicle I decided that going into Austin on Wednesday night was a bad idea. Well...exiting was a bad idea...just turning your wheel slightly makes the car go in all sorts of directions. I noticed myself going to the right, not at a slight 2 degree angle that normal cars go when exiting, but full on 90 degree angle headed straight for the grass...but oh no...I kept sliding more to where I couldn't stop at all and guess what stopped me...the guardrail. I head on smashed right into that guardrail. It was in such gracefulness that I was actually thinking to myself "Oh my gosh I'm headed straight for that guardrail, I can't turn my car at all so I'll just brace myself for the worst" BAM!! I hit it. I almost cried it shook me up a little. But since it was 24 degrees outside I said screw it, and I somehow got my car straightened out to get on the access road to turn around. Which wasn't much safer. I slid off of the road a couple times anyways. You seriously have no control whatsoever when it comes to driving on ice. Scariest thing I have ever had to do.
I checked my vehicle when I got home that night...not a scratch on it. I bent the license plate and that was the only damage. Actually I almost sliced it because it's bent really bad, I must have hit it right on the edge of the guardrail. So this week I am very thankful for dent resistand door panels and frames from Saturn because that would have been a bitch to repair.
Question 3: You may be wondering, how should you drive if your back tires start to slide out to the ride side of the vehicle? Well, you should always try and keep your vehicle straight. So turn your wheel to the right so that you keep your vehicle straigh so you keep your vehicle in a smaller area. I called my cousin Brian after I was making circles on the interstate because he was the one I was going to see in Austin. He's a state trooper and was in town for some classes. Well he let me know that you should always try and keep your vehicle going straight no matter what. So if you ever find yourself in that situations...keep that in mind.
"Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it, I'm gone let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight"
-Beyonce
1. How much do I need new tires?
2. How much do I love my Saturn?
3. How do you drive on ice?
Question 1: I need new tires pretty bad. My dad has told me this that past three times I've seen him...which is over a period of a couple of months. I have no traction what so ever...especially when it comes to driving on ice, and as I was staring at the oncoming traffic on I35 it became very clear that I will very soon need new tires if I can't even go straight on a straight road....which brings me to my question number 2...
Question 2: Saturn has these dent resistant panels that it's made of. One of the most cleve inventions EVER. After slipping and sliding all over I35 with no control whatsoever of my vehicle I decided that going into Austin on Wednesday night was a bad idea. Well...exiting was a bad idea...just turning your wheel slightly makes the car go in all sorts of directions. I noticed myself going to the right, not at a slight 2 degree angle that normal cars go when exiting, but full on 90 degree angle headed straight for the grass...but oh no...I kept sliding more to where I couldn't stop at all and guess what stopped me...the guardrail. I head on smashed right into that guardrail. It was in such gracefulness that I was actually thinking to myself "Oh my gosh I'm headed straight for that guardrail, I can't turn my car at all so I'll just brace myself for the worst" BAM!! I hit it. I almost cried it shook me up a little. But since it was 24 degrees outside I said screw it, and I somehow got my car straightened out to get on the access road to turn around. Which wasn't much safer. I slid off of the road a couple times anyways. You seriously have no control whatsoever when it comes to driving on ice. Scariest thing I have ever had to do.
I checked my vehicle when I got home that night...not a scratch on it. I bent the license plate and that was the only damage. Actually I almost sliced it because it's bent really bad, I must have hit it right on the edge of the guardrail. So this week I am very thankful for dent resistand door panels and frames from Saturn because that would have been a bitch to repair.
Question 3: You may be wondering, how should you drive if your back tires start to slide out to the ride side of the vehicle? Well, you should always try and keep your vehicle straight. So turn your wheel to the right so that you keep your vehicle straigh so you keep your vehicle in a smaller area. I called my cousin Brian after I was making circles on the interstate because he was the one I was going to see in Austin. He's a state trooper and was in town for some classes. Well he let me know that you should always try and keep your vehicle going straight no matter what. So if you ever find yourself in that situations...keep that in mind.
"Ohh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won't you come over check up on it, I'm gone let you work up on it
Ladies let em check up on it, watch it while he check up on it
Dip it, pop it, twork it, stop it, check on me tonight"
-Beyonce
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Becky's Secret
Last night was one of those disappointing nights in Television...I usually watch the TV show HOUSE and CLOSE to HOME...both were cancelled because of different circumstances. I thought to myself...geez, the one night I actually watch TV shows their the ones that are that got booted off for the one night. It started off being such a great evening because I went home and I actually cooked...but we'll get to that later.
The Billboard Music awards were on, so I flipped back and forth from other TV shows. I've always had a girl crush on Gwen Stefani...even since like the 8th grade. Anyways...she's totally hot. Her performance of Luxurious....AMAZING. (OK, so I thought she could have used a different hair style, but whatever, I don't judge) I thought it was so much better than the radio version. I now like that song. Plus, any pop star that brings in a rapper (Slim Thug or any one of the sorts) has Gold Stars in my book.
The next thing I watched, because Close to Home was canceled for the night, was the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. All I can say is Oh My Goodness. I want to be a VS model so bad right now. All you have to do is walk about 40 feet on a runway turn around and pray you don't trip. These girls have it made...they sit in a chair, people fix there hair while someone else is applying their make-up and they look gorgeous. I would totally look gorgeous if I had someone do my hair and make-up every day. That is definitely one of my Secret fantasies (if you will) to get to do that at some time in my life. Not necessarily as a career. But I would definitely love to get to walk the runway at some point in time.
OK...back to my dinner...I cooked some amazing chicken friend steak. I don't mean to brag, but I did a hell of a job last night. I even made homemade gravy to put on it. I was so proud of myself. I didn't have any potatoes at home so I had to make instant mashed potatoes...but I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to mashed potatoes.
OK...so why cook last night and eat like a pig? We got our church directories in yesterday. They literally took a year to get back. Seriously, I took my picture last November for it, right before I went home for Thanksgiving. Well, the secretary stopped me as I was leaving and she said I was looking at the directory with my daughter and...you've lost weight. And she's right, I have. I didn't think it was that noticable, but when I went home for Thanksgiving I noticed that I lost about 6 or 7 pounds. Now to many of you that sounds like a very small number...but, I'm a very small person. So that is a large amount for me. And for someone to actually say they've noticed that I've lose weight in my face...Whoah...that was a big shock.
So I'm trying to eat more...I guess that's wrong, maybe eat more healthier and more regularly. Hopefully that will work...because it's pathetic when a size zero is too big. I may sound silly saying this...but please pray that I gain weight...
I mean, I feel good so it's not like I'm worried, but I don't want it to get out of hand.
"This kind of love is getting expensive
We know how to live baby
We're luxurious like Egyptian cotton
We're so rich in love we're rollin' in cashmere
Got it in fifth gear baby
Diamond in the rough is lookin so sparkly
Working so hard every night and day
And now we get the pay back
Trying so hard saving up the paper
Now we get to lay back"
-Gwen Stefani
The Billboard Music awards were on, so I flipped back and forth from other TV shows. I've always had a girl crush on Gwen Stefani...even since like the 8th grade. Anyways...she's totally hot. Her performance of Luxurious....AMAZING. (OK, so I thought she could have used a different hair style, but whatever, I don't judge) I thought it was so much better than the radio version. I now like that song. Plus, any pop star that brings in a rapper (Slim Thug or any one of the sorts) has Gold Stars in my book.
The next thing I watched, because Close to Home was canceled for the night, was the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. All I can say is Oh My Goodness. I want to be a VS model so bad right now. All you have to do is walk about 40 feet on a runway turn around and pray you don't trip. These girls have it made...they sit in a chair, people fix there hair while someone else is applying their make-up and they look gorgeous. I would totally look gorgeous if I had someone do my hair and make-up every day. That is definitely one of my Secret fantasies (if you will) to get to do that at some time in my life. Not necessarily as a career. But I would definitely love to get to walk the runway at some point in time.
OK...back to my dinner...I cooked some amazing chicken friend steak. I don't mean to brag, but I did a hell of a job last night. I even made homemade gravy to put on it. I was so proud of myself. I didn't have any potatoes at home so I had to make instant mashed potatoes...but I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to mashed potatoes.
OK...so why cook last night and eat like a pig? We got our church directories in yesterday. They literally took a year to get back. Seriously, I took my picture last November for it, right before I went home for Thanksgiving. Well, the secretary stopped me as I was leaving and she said I was looking at the directory with my daughter and...you've lost weight. And she's right, I have. I didn't think it was that noticable, but when I went home for Thanksgiving I noticed that I lost about 6 or 7 pounds. Now to many of you that sounds like a very small number...but, I'm a very small person. So that is a large amount for me. And for someone to actually say they've noticed that I've lose weight in my face...Whoah...that was a big shock.
So I'm trying to eat more...I guess that's wrong, maybe eat more healthier and more regularly. Hopefully that will work...because it's pathetic when a size zero is too big. I may sound silly saying this...but please pray that I gain weight...
I mean, I feel good so it's not like I'm worried, but I don't want it to get out of hand.
"This kind of love is getting expensive
We know how to live baby
We're luxurious like Egyptian cotton
We're so rich in love we're rollin' in cashmere
Got it in fifth gear baby
Diamond in the rough is lookin so sparkly
Working so hard every night and day
And now we get the pay back
Trying so hard saving up the paper
Now we get to lay back"
-Gwen Stefani
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
What do you Love?
I know we all have the little things, well really their big, like family and friends and God. But I've come to realize that there are really other things that I love.
I remember growing up we ALWAYS had some kind of animal at the house...dogs, cats, hamsters, gerbils, rats, mice, parakeets, a rabbit, fish. Those were all family pets. Yea, I loved them like anyone loves their pets.
But with Peanut...she's MINE. I got her, I raised her, she knows me and I know her. I love that little sucker so much. I'm sad that I got one that was already "different", but that's what made her special. I love her little head tilt, even though it's a sign of sickness. I think we just have something special. I could be standing in the kitchen doing something and she'll just start at my ankle and climb all the way up to my shoulder just to get a look at what I'm doing. Yes, I have scratch marks from her, but I don't mind.
We really bond. Watching TV on the couch with her just makes me smile...she'll just curl up on my neck and lay there with me. I guess it's just nice to have something around. I'll be sad when she's gone, but she's a champ and she's should be around for a while still.
I just think it's a different kind of love when you're the only one giving it. I don't have to share my love for her with someone else...that sounds so silly, but it's true.
I also love getting stuff in the mail. That is always so much fun. I keep buying stuff online just so that I get mail. It's always a surprise to open the mail box and find something. I got an invitation to TLU's graduation and that was the only thing in the box...it was just "yeah" I got mail. Plus it let's me know that someone was thinking of me.
Maybe love is the wrong word for these things, but it was the only thing I could come up with...
What do you guys love?
I remember growing up we ALWAYS had some kind of animal at the house...dogs, cats, hamsters, gerbils, rats, mice, parakeets, a rabbit, fish. Those were all family pets. Yea, I loved them like anyone loves their pets.
But with Peanut...she's MINE. I got her, I raised her, she knows me and I know her. I love that little sucker so much. I'm sad that I got one that was already "different", but that's what made her special. I love her little head tilt, even though it's a sign of sickness. I think we just have something special. I could be standing in the kitchen doing something and she'll just start at my ankle and climb all the way up to my shoulder just to get a look at what I'm doing. Yes, I have scratch marks from her, but I don't mind.
We really bond. Watching TV on the couch with her just makes me smile...she'll just curl up on my neck and lay there with me. I guess it's just nice to have something around. I'll be sad when she's gone, but she's a champ and she's should be around for a while still.
I just think it's a different kind of love when you're the only one giving it. I don't have to share my love for her with someone else...that sounds so silly, but it's true.
I also love getting stuff in the mail. That is always so much fun. I keep buying stuff online just so that I get mail. It's always a surprise to open the mail box and find something. I got an invitation to TLU's graduation and that was the only thing in the box...it was just "yeah" I got mail. Plus it let's me know that someone was thinking of me.
Maybe love is the wrong word for these things, but it was the only thing I could come up with...
What do you guys love?
Monday, December 05, 2005
Small Town Life
I grew up in a small town and it was one of those things where everyone knew everything that was going on...to a certain extent. Like we have the "Peanut Festival" every second weekend in October, the "Stockhow" is well...sometime, I don't know because I don't really plan my schedule around that one. Plus just other little things throughout the year.
Georgetown is the same way. It has it's annual events, parades and the sorts. Well this past weekend was the "Christmas Stroll". NO ONE TELL THE NEW GIRL WHEN SOMETHING IS GOING ON. I was asked by a few people on Sunday, 'so did you enjoy the stroll'? I'm thinking to myself, What the Hell is the 'stroll'? I knew nothing of this. Apparently it was a great time downtown at the square. Oh well.
I ended up staying in my apartment baking cookies. 5 dozen to be exact. They're the peanut butter cookies with the Hershey Kiss in the middle. One of my favorite holiday cookie. And if I do say so...they're delicious. I love the way the Kiss tastes after it's been cooked. Yum!!
I finally got a lazy weekend and it was great. At times, a little boring, but so worth it because the next 4 weekends are already practically gone. I watched a lot of movies this weekend too: "The Anchorman", "Closer", "Alfie", and "Crash". I love vegging out.
Although the movie "Closer" really just gets me all riled up to where I just don't like boys, or girls for that matter. But I got over it.
Georgetown is the same way. It has it's annual events, parades and the sorts. Well this past weekend was the "Christmas Stroll". NO ONE TELL THE NEW GIRL WHEN SOMETHING IS GOING ON. I was asked by a few people on Sunday, 'so did you enjoy the stroll'? I'm thinking to myself, What the Hell is the 'stroll'? I knew nothing of this. Apparently it was a great time downtown at the square. Oh well.
I ended up staying in my apartment baking cookies. 5 dozen to be exact. They're the peanut butter cookies with the Hershey Kiss in the middle. One of my favorite holiday cookie. And if I do say so...they're delicious. I love the way the Kiss tastes after it's been cooked. Yum!!
I finally got a lazy weekend and it was great. At times, a little boring, but so worth it because the next 4 weekends are already practically gone. I watched a lot of movies this weekend too: "The Anchorman", "Closer", "Alfie", and "Crash". I love vegging out.
Although the movie "Closer" really just gets me all riled up to where I just don't like boys, or girls for that matter. But I got over it.
Oooh and then yesterday for church I got up about 20 minutes earlier than usual so that I could curl my hair. Oh man I wish I would have taken a picture. I got so many compliments from everyone at church, it was so nice. I must say I looked pretty darn good. I mean...I got dressed up, fixed my hair AND put on make-up. That doesn't happen too often. It was kind of fun. May need to start dressing like a girl a little more often. But who are we kidding, I came to work with a sweater, jeans and tennis shoes this morning. I guess I got over that pretty quickly...
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