I used to be that girl that would dye her hair every chance she got. It started my freshman year of high school. I had beautiful dark brown hair like my mother's, but for some reason I just thought I had to put in blonde highlights like EVERYONE else I knew. I did it, and I liked it, it was something different for me and I had fun with it.
Then after that I wanted something different, so I dyed it completely blonde. Then I watched the movie "The Fifth Element" and the character leeloo played by Mila Jovovich really caught my eye. I wanted hair like that. So I dyed my hair auburn, well that wasn't bright enough for me. So when I went off to summer camp I dyed my hair Brilliant Copper #68 (Luscious Mango). I wanted it to be very orange...well it was. It wasn't like Leeloo's, but it was still orange. Then that faded away and I'm sure I put more highlights in it, then I dyed it all brown trying to get back to my natural color. Then right before I moved to Georgetown I put Red and Blond Streaks throughout my hair...yes, it looked AWESOME!!! Then last year...February 2005 to be exact, I dyed my hair for the last time. I went and actually got it done at a salon. I did a dark brown so that when it grew out it wouldn't be very noticable.
Even still when I go home my extended family askes about my new dye job because in the sunlight my hair has redish tints to it. and when I went to get it cut last month my lady made a comment about how it's growing out funny. It's actually growing out lighter than what I dyed it and I really noticed it this morning. The ends of my hair are pretty blonde when I'm blow drying my hair. How does that happen??? The part of my hair that should actually be dark...is so blonde. And then when I was driving across country with Lauren and I looked at my reflection a couple times...my hair was very red. It's really weird how that works out sometimes....
Just something I felt like share with you all...
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Don't Know What to Title This
I am the worst sleeper in the world. It's ridiculous. I've gotten to the point where I just can't sleep through the night unless I take something that just knocks me out. I hate having to be dependant on something just to get to sleep, but you know what... my body needs sleep.
I woke up a good 37 times last night and I have no idea why. Am I not comfortable? Did something startle me? Why can't I just sleep????!!
At least I didn't wake up tired this morning, but sometimes I just wake up and don't want to get out of bed because I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept a whole night through in months. My Grandmother suggested I take a melotonin pill before going to sleep. It's just a natural sleep enhancer, nothing bad for you. But it almost made my sleep worse. I had a hard enough time falling asleep and when I did...I couldn't stay asleep.
If someone has had this problem and has found a solution PLEASE let me know, I'll take whatever I can get. Thanks!
I woke up a good 37 times last night and I have no idea why. Am I not comfortable? Did something startle me? Why can't I just sleep????!!
At least I didn't wake up tired this morning, but sometimes I just wake up and don't want to get out of bed because I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept a whole night through in months. My Grandmother suggested I take a melotonin pill before going to sleep. It's just a natural sleep enhancer, nothing bad for you. But it almost made my sleep worse. I had a hard enough time falling asleep and when I did...I couldn't stay asleep.
If someone has had this problem and has found a solution PLEASE let me know, I'll take whatever I can get. Thanks!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
What Irks me
I'm a little irritated that the phone companies can tell you how many minutes you can talk on the phone.
We shouldn't be limited to much time we can spend on the phone before 7:00p.m. (Or maybe I just have the wrong phone provider.) I do use my phone pretty regularly before 7:00 and sometimes I get charged for doing so. For a whole month I only have roughly 6.6666 hours of talk time on Monday thru Friday before 7. Now to me...that is ridiculous. Unless I'm talking to someone with the same phone provider. If my phone calls were short and sweet, that's fine, but they're not always. Or I'm not paying attention to what time it is when I answer the phone and just continue to talk for a while and then have to pay for it.
I really think we should be able to talk for as long as we want whenever we want. Land lines don't give you a limit of how much you can talk on the phone, they just give you your fixed rate and tell you to have at it. My new month just came into effect yesterday and I already have used 130 minutes and that means I only have 270 minutes left for the rest of the month...that's just not fair. I shouldn't have to apy because I want to talk to my friends...Disgusted is what I am.
I'm sorry it just pisses me off sometime...people giving me a limit of how often I can use my phone....and during the holiday season...
We shouldn't be limited to much time we can spend on the phone before 7:00p.m. (Or maybe I just have the wrong phone provider.) I do use my phone pretty regularly before 7:00 and sometimes I get charged for doing so. For a whole month I only have roughly 6.6666 hours of talk time on Monday thru Friday before 7. Now to me...that is ridiculous. Unless I'm talking to someone with the same phone provider. If my phone calls were short and sweet, that's fine, but they're not always. Or I'm not paying attention to what time it is when I answer the phone and just continue to talk for a while and then have to pay for it.
I really think we should be able to talk for as long as we want whenever we want. Land lines don't give you a limit of how much you can talk on the phone, they just give you your fixed rate and tell you to have at it. My new month just came into effect yesterday and I already have used 130 minutes and that means I only have 270 minutes left for the rest of the month...that's just not fair. I shouldn't have to apy because I want to talk to my friends...Disgusted is what I am.
I'm sorry it just pisses me off sometime...people giving me a limit of how often I can use my phone....and during the holiday season...
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I Want to Scream But Make No Sound
I am very easily frustrated. So much to the point where it almost makes me sick. I'm having to deal with deadlines again, and for some reason or another, I have parents who just don't think that the deadlines apply to them. For instance, I had a deadline of this past Sunday for this big event I'm planning at the end of December. Yesterday I had everything sealed and stamped in an envelope ready to go when a mother called and said, I'm sending you my son's registrations forms....
Of course I'm such a push-over that I said OK, and opened up the my envelope so that I could change everything to fit him and another boy in. Now I Have to get a whole new check written, which at my job is a painfully long and stressful process and so for me to ask for one at the last minute almost makes me want to cry. And you know what...I still haven't gotten those new registration forms in yet. So here I am freakin' out and wanting to scream and cry at the same time, but I can't....
Had another great conversation with my cousin last night. He was scared to call because apparently he had come into Austin to hang out with some of his buddies from high school and he didn't call me to come out and didn't know how I would react to that. It really isn't a big deal or anything, kind of sweet if you think about it.
We always give each other inside scoops about the opposite sex, he gives me some little hints and I do the same for him. He and I are both pretty chicken when it comes to approaching the opposite sex and we use each other to pump ourselves up. He had wanted to talk to this girl in his class for a while and he finally got up enough guts and then asked for her email address. Her email address!! I was confused, why not ask for a telephone number. Reason: a girl is more willing to give out her e-mail address to someone she doesn't know instead of her phone number. Good point I thought. It's true, I would much rather get an email from someone I barely knew than an awkward phone call. And then he said if you really liked the guy who is asking for you email address to just go ahead and write your number on there as well...and ladies...always write your name on the piece of paper.
It's not that guys forget your name, it's because they are just as nervous and are already thinking of there next line to say while your saying your name, that they just get nervous. Cute, I thought. What an interesting little tid-bit to know.
I always get nervous about "making moves" on guys too, like after you first meet someone, I always feel like it's the guys responsibility to move things along, but sometimes they're just as nervous too. Like I met this fun guy a couple weekends ago and nothing really came of it, so I asked my cousin what I should do and he was just like: Guys are usually just as self conscious as girls are and to just go ahead and email him and if nothing happens...then nothing happens, but at least you tried. True...it doesn't make you feel any better when nothing happens though. Oh well...that's just life.
I also told him about the date I went on this weekend that was super fun. And he said I handled it pretty well...I guess not alot can happen when he's hours away. Now, I'm not saying that long distance relationships can't work, but you both have to put the effort into it, and right now I'm not so sure I have that kind of attitude to put forth. But maybe we'll see how Christmas vacation goes and if I see him again then...
To my cousin...to all my cousins, not just the one's I talk to on a regular basis...I love you all!
Of course I'm such a push-over that I said OK, and opened up the my envelope so that I could change everything to fit him and another boy in. Now I Have to get a whole new check written, which at my job is a painfully long and stressful process and so for me to ask for one at the last minute almost makes me want to cry. And you know what...I still haven't gotten those new registration forms in yet. So here I am freakin' out and wanting to scream and cry at the same time, but I can't....
Had another great conversation with my cousin last night. He was scared to call because apparently he had come into Austin to hang out with some of his buddies from high school and he didn't call me to come out and didn't know how I would react to that. It really isn't a big deal or anything, kind of sweet if you think about it.
We always give each other inside scoops about the opposite sex, he gives me some little hints and I do the same for him. He and I are both pretty chicken when it comes to approaching the opposite sex and we use each other to pump ourselves up. He had wanted to talk to this girl in his class for a while and he finally got up enough guts and then asked for her email address. Her email address!! I was confused, why not ask for a telephone number. Reason: a girl is more willing to give out her e-mail address to someone she doesn't know instead of her phone number. Good point I thought. It's true, I would much rather get an email from someone I barely knew than an awkward phone call. And then he said if you really liked the guy who is asking for you email address to just go ahead and write your number on there as well...and ladies...always write your name on the piece of paper.
It's not that guys forget your name, it's because they are just as nervous and are already thinking of there next line to say while your saying your name, that they just get nervous. Cute, I thought. What an interesting little tid-bit to know.
I always get nervous about "making moves" on guys too, like after you first meet someone, I always feel like it's the guys responsibility to move things along, but sometimes they're just as nervous too. Like I met this fun guy a couple weekends ago and nothing really came of it, so I asked my cousin what I should do and he was just like: Guys are usually just as self conscious as girls are and to just go ahead and email him and if nothing happens...then nothing happens, but at least you tried. True...it doesn't make you feel any better when nothing happens though. Oh well...that's just life.
I also told him about the date I went on this weekend that was super fun. And he said I handled it pretty well...I guess not alot can happen when he's hours away. Now, I'm not saying that long distance relationships can't work, but you both have to put the effort into it, and right now I'm not so sure I have that kind of attitude to put forth. But maybe we'll see how Christmas vacation goes and if I see him again then...
To my cousin...to all my cousins, not just the one's I talk to on a regular basis...I love you all!
Monday, November 27, 2006
I LOVE COMING HOME!!!
I love going home...or, I love visiting home. It is always just a great and wonderful time. I love the "Becky" that I am when I'm home and in a comfortable environment. It's not that I'm Not comfortable here...I guess I'm just more so there and it really shows. I'm a very fun person. I'm the person I was before I graduated from college and had to get a job. Not that I don't love my job, but there are somethings, like getting up in the morning, that just make it hard to be "fun".
At home, I'm a very hyper and fun to be around person. I'm always smiling and in a good mood, I'm very funny. I had a friend from high school come up to me and told me how much she likes to see me because I'm always so full of joy. Obviously she only see's me when I'm back home. But what an amazing compliment.
People don't judge me when I'm down either, or maybe I just don't notice it as much. When I meet new people up here and tell them what I do, I always get weird reactions, but back home, people know me for who I am and what I used to be like. It's just so great!! Let's see what else made this weekend great...
Besides having my favorite holiday every (THANKSGIVING), I got to see all my family, Yay! I got to go out on a date, I got to go to the zoo!!, and got to hang out with really awesome people.
I thought the "date" might catch your attention. It was really fun. I ran into a guy that I knew in high school and he asked to take me to dinner on Saturday night. Well, I'm not going to pass up a chance like that. The one time I get asked out and I have to get picked up at my parents house, which meant my parents just HAD to meet him. Which was alright, they're good people. Poor guy had to walk all the way up to the door and introduce himself to both my mom and my dad. But it was good. We ate out at the Outback. Delicious. We had some kangroo chops and koala-kabobs...just kidding. But it was such a great time. This guy is very outgoing so there weren't any awkward silences, which was great. I have a very hard time keeping conversation going, but it was easy this time. So that was that, we had dinner and he took me home. He went to hang out with his friend and I went out to hang out with my friends. He's in college station and I'm in Georgetown, so I guess that was it. It was fun, and I'm sure we'll hang out again...but is it really all worth it?
And the ZOO!! I love the zoo, I haven't been there since high school. It was great. They're doing construction so there were some animals missing, but I got to see the Giraffe and that's what I really wanted to see. And check it out. They have these new mini-zebra's in one exhibit...they let me hold it, It was awesome!!
Hee Hee...that was funny, right!!
So all in all, my weekend was great! Loved it. But now it's back to the punching the clock!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Christmas List
I was talking with my Mom last night and we got on the topic of what to get me for Christmas. I had originally asked for a digital camera, but I wanted it before Christmas. So yesterday I went out and bought myself one. It's a pretty snazzy one too! So I need your help to get some ideas of what I should tell my parents to get me for Christmas. Any suggestions will be helpful! Thanks!!
Friday, November 17, 2006
You Are Not the Father
I love the Maury Povich show. But I like the one's where he's making someone's dream come true or doing a make-over on a much needed human being. Whenever I see that it's going to be a Paternity Test Episode I usually just turn the TV off or change the channel. Well, today I didn't. Nothing else was on and I was just waisting time until I left for San Antonio.
There are some women on there that have tested over 15 men and still have no clue as to who the Father of their child is. How disgusting. It's one thing to cheat on a partner and have a little mix-up...but to have slept with over a dozen people at around the same time that you can't figure out who fathered the baby...there's got to be something wrong with you. I can't even fathom that. I don't see it to be that difficult to be faithful to one person...much less to be unfaithful so many times with so many people.
Now these kids are growing up not knowing who there father is. Hello Ladies...there's an easy solution to all of this. STOP SLEEPING AROUND. It really isn't that difficult. Have a little self control to that you can be more respected to others.
Another man was on there and told his wife that he had cheated on her with over 50 people...and that's just in a couple years time. What is wrong with these people?!! How rotten of a person do you have to be. I just don't understand all that. I just had to vent because it drives me crazy to think that all of this is going on and they wonder why they have all these illegitimate children and diseases and can't have a good relationship. Grow up and Get some Morals.
There are some women on there that have tested over 15 men and still have no clue as to who the Father of their child is. How disgusting. It's one thing to cheat on a partner and have a little mix-up...but to have slept with over a dozen people at around the same time that you can't figure out who fathered the baby...there's got to be something wrong with you. I can't even fathom that. I don't see it to be that difficult to be faithful to one person...much less to be unfaithful so many times with so many people.
Now these kids are growing up not knowing who there father is. Hello Ladies...there's an easy solution to all of this. STOP SLEEPING AROUND. It really isn't that difficult. Have a little self control to that you can be more respected to others.
Another man was on there and told his wife that he had cheated on her with over 50 people...and that's just in a couple years time. What is wrong with these people?!! How rotten of a person do you have to be. I just don't understand all that. I just had to vent because it drives me crazy to think that all of this is going on and they wonder why they have all these illegitimate children and diseases and can't have a good relationship. Grow up and Get some Morals.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
I Love You Like A Chicken
Just be prepared that this post is going to be a long one because there are so many things to say!!
First, I'll explain my title for the Post.
I went on a weekend retreat for Middle Schooler's this weekend. It was really great. I was surrounded by 190 middle schooler's, that's got to be good!! The Synod brought in a woman named Celia Whitler to do all of the worships for us. On the first night she was talking about her sons. One of them is 4 years old and each night he would say something to his mom like "I love you 100" or "I love you 1,000" or "I love you like candy" and one night he said "Mom, I love you like a chicken". So that was our task for every day was to tell as many people that we love them like a chicken. It was great. What an easy way for Middle schooler's and even the older sponsors to tell other people that they love them and care for them. So if I come up to you and tell you that "I love you like a chicken"...that's where that came from.
The weekends theme was stories of faith, and one of our activities was to think of a family memory or tradition that has stuck in your mind. It's one of those things where it's always hard to think of something on the spot. But for some reason, a memory or my grandmother's house popped into my head out of the blue. She passed away in 2000 and it took me this long to just sit and think and remember. It's a simple memory, but it almost made me cry:
Growing up, every Sunday after church we would go to my Grandma's house one weekend and then to Nani and Pop's (they didn't want to be called grandma and grandpa) on the other weekend. Every time we would go to Grandma's house in Falls City she would either cook us Polish Sausage with Fried Potatoes or Chicken and Dumplings. I'm sure there were other dishes that she made but those are just the two that always stuck in my mind. And every time I would walk in her house I would go up and give her a hug and go straight to the stove to take the lids of the pots to see what was cooking. I know it's a simple thing, but she always expected it to. I was always the one that checked what was cooking for lunch. I guess you could call it a tradition...it was just something that I did. And now that I think of it, it's a sweet memory that I will always have. It was obviously a part of my life.
Needless to say I learned a lot about myself this weekend. There are other stories that I learned about my life that has made me in the person that I am today and that has pruned me into the woman of faith that I am today as well. I always get so much more out of the weekends that are intended for the youth than I do out of the weekends that are for the adults. Oh well.
It was also my first gathering without Lauren. :( Sad, I know. But that just meant I got to spend more time with my sponsors that I brought. Which was great, because they were super fun people that I'm really glad came along for the weekend activities.
Another story from the weekend. I drove our 15 passenger Van, that has dulley wheels in the back. It's AWESOME! Well to fit that many people into one vehicle, there has to be many rows. There's the front bucket seats and then 4 rows of youth in the back. Well one of the girls in the third row back got a little car sick. No, let me rephrase that...got a lot car sick. Good thing we had some plastic trash bags in the vehicle. Yes, she did make everything into the bag, but poor thing had to do her business surrounded by lots of other youth. Then there's me in the front seat who has the worst gag reflexes EVER. I thought I might get a little "car sick" myself. I had a hard time listening to the regurgitation in the back seat, driving 12 other people, and smelling the sweet aroma of the waste...I Gagged.... A LOT! But we made it back safely and without any more incidents.
When we got back into town I had just enough time to go home and take a quick shower before coming back to work to meet with my high school youth.
Monday was going to be my day off. It was for the most part. I had to get up early to go to the Orthopedist for my 6 week check up. He claims everything should be fine with me as long as I keep doing my excersices (which I'm not gonna lie, I don't do them as regularly as I should be). The shooting pains in my arms and legs to me are signs of a pinched nerve in my spine...but Mr. Dr....seems to think I'll be fine. So we'll see!
Other exciting things from Yesterday.
My parents had their 30th Anniversary. THIRTY YEARS!!! That's very awesome.
My friend Keith, his mom and my mom have been friends since the 8th grade, so we basically grew up together. He's like my 4th brother. Well he called yesterday afternoon...his wife delivered there son!! Yay!! Noah was born at 2:30, he was 8 pounds and I'm sure some ounces and 21 inches.
Congratulations to the new family!!
I'll be in that area this weekend so hopefully I'll get to pop in and see the new family!!
I had my usual phone call from my cousin last night. It was a long one. With council meeting getting out late and the unually long talk with Bryan, I missed watching Hero's and Studio 60 which makes me a little upset because I really like those shows. But family comes first. Anyways:
Of course there was girl problems, which I hope my cousin just grow some and realized that he's an idiot and shouldn't be dating girls that are 9 years younger than him. At least not right now.
He also shared with me that he is an Atheist. Or in his words, he's at least 97% sure he's an atheist. The other 3% is skeptical. So of course we got into a discussion about that. I noticed that I don't know how to handle stuff like that. It made me more sad than it did make me mad. He was a Marine and had been through lots of stuff and now he's a state trooper and I just figured that so much as happened in his life to support the fact that there is a God that he wouldn't have any reason to doubt. I guess I was wrong. He keeps our Grandma's Rosary in his bullet proof vest. He said that was part of his 3%, so I'm hoping that his 3% grows into something a little more. I just had no idea how to handle situations like that.
I feel that I should have all this knowledge to poor out to him because I work in a church, but I almost didn't have anything to say. I did say something, but I was so speechless that it was almost embarrassing. I told him I would pray for him and he said he would appreciate that. I'm hoping he's just going threw a confusing time right now. I know lots of guys go through a time when they don't go to church and just wait until they're married...the same ol' excuse I hear from many people. I asked him what he's going to do if he marries a christian and he said "I'll fake it". How do you fake something like that? To me if you're faking it, there's got to be a little Jesus in your hear that you know of, know what I mean.
So if any of you have any advice for me on how to handle this let me know. Advice to where it doesn't sound like I'm preaching to him...I don't want to turn him away...
First, I'll explain my title for the Post.
I went on a weekend retreat for Middle Schooler's this weekend. It was really great. I was surrounded by 190 middle schooler's, that's got to be good!! The Synod brought in a woman named Celia Whitler to do all of the worships for us. On the first night she was talking about her sons. One of them is 4 years old and each night he would say something to his mom like "I love you 100" or "I love you 1,000" or "I love you like candy" and one night he said "Mom, I love you like a chicken". So that was our task for every day was to tell as many people that we love them like a chicken. It was great. What an easy way for Middle schooler's and even the older sponsors to tell other people that they love them and care for them. So if I come up to you and tell you that "I love you like a chicken"...that's where that came from.
The weekends theme was stories of faith, and one of our activities was to think of a family memory or tradition that has stuck in your mind. It's one of those things where it's always hard to think of something on the spot. But for some reason, a memory or my grandmother's house popped into my head out of the blue. She passed away in 2000 and it took me this long to just sit and think and remember. It's a simple memory, but it almost made me cry:
Growing up, every Sunday after church we would go to my Grandma's house one weekend and then to Nani and Pop's (they didn't want to be called grandma and grandpa) on the other weekend. Every time we would go to Grandma's house in Falls City she would either cook us Polish Sausage with Fried Potatoes or Chicken and Dumplings. I'm sure there were other dishes that she made but those are just the two that always stuck in my mind. And every time I would walk in her house I would go up and give her a hug and go straight to the stove to take the lids of the pots to see what was cooking. I know it's a simple thing, but she always expected it to. I was always the one that checked what was cooking for lunch. I guess you could call it a tradition...it was just something that I did. And now that I think of it, it's a sweet memory that I will always have. It was obviously a part of my life.
Needless to say I learned a lot about myself this weekend. There are other stories that I learned about my life that has made me in the person that I am today and that has pruned me into the woman of faith that I am today as well. I always get so much more out of the weekends that are intended for the youth than I do out of the weekends that are for the adults. Oh well.
It was also my first gathering without Lauren. :( Sad, I know. But that just meant I got to spend more time with my sponsors that I brought. Which was great, because they were super fun people that I'm really glad came along for the weekend activities.
Another story from the weekend. I drove our 15 passenger Van, that has dulley wheels in the back. It's AWESOME! Well to fit that many people into one vehicle, there has to be many rows. There's the front bucket seats and then 4 rows of youth in the back. Well one of the girls in the third row back got a little car sick. No, let me rephrase that...got a lot car sick. Good thing we had some plastic trash bags in the vehicle. Yes, she did make everything into the bag, but poor thing had to do her business surrounded by lots of other youth. Then there's me in the front seat who has the worst gag reflexes EVER. I thought I might get a little "car sick" myself. I had a hard time listening to the regurgitation in the back seat, driving 12 other people, and smelling the sweet aroma of the waste...I Gagged.... A LOT! But we made it back safely and without any more incidents.
When we got back into town I had just enough time to go home and take a quick shower before coming back to work to meet with my high school youth.
Monday was going to be my day off. It was for the most part. I had to get up early to go to the Orthopedist for my 6 week check up. He claims everything should be fine with me as long as I keep doing my excersices (which I'm not gonna lie, I don't do them as regularly as I should be). The shooting pains in my arms and legs to me are signs of a pinched nerve in my spine...but Mr. Dr....seems to think I'll be fine. So we'll see!
Other exciting things from Yesterday.
My parents had their 30th Anniversary. THIRTY YEARS!!! That's very awesome.
My friend Keith, his mom and my mom have been friends since the 8th grade, so we basically grew up together. He's like my 4th brother. Well he called yesterday afternoon...his wife delivered there son!! Yay!! Noah was born at 2:30, he was 8 pounds and I'm sure some ounces and 21 inches.
Congratulations to the new family!!
I'll be in that area this weekend so hopefully I'll get to pop in and see the new family!!
I had my usual phone call from my cousin last night. It was a long one. With council meeting getting out late and the unually long talk with Bryan, I missed watching Hero's and Studio 60 which makes me a little upset because I really like those shows. But family comes first. Anyways:
Of course there was girl problems, which I hope my cousin just grow some and realized that he's an idiot and shouldn't be dating girls that are 9 years younger than him. At least not right now.
He also shared with me that he is an Atheist. Or in his words, he's at least 97% sure he's an atheist. The other 3% is skeptical. So of course we got into a discussion about that. I noticed that I don't know how to handle stuff like that. It made me more sad than it did make me mad. He was a Marine and had been through lots of stuff and now he's a state trooper and I just figured that so much as happened in his life to support the fact that there is a God that he wouldn't have any reason to doubt. I guess I was wrong. He keeps our Grandma's Rosary in his bullet proof vest. He said that was part of his 3%, so I'm hoping that his 3% grows into something a little more. I just had no idea how to handle situations like that.
I feel that I should have all this knowledge to poor out to him because I work in a church, but I almost didn't have anything to say. I did say something, but I was so speechless that it was almost embarrassing. I told him I would pray for him and he said he would appreciate that. I'm hoping he's just going threw a confusing time right now. I know lots of guys go through a time when they don't go to church and just wait until they're married...the same ol' excuse I hear from many people. I asked him what he's going to do if he marries a christian and he said "I'll fake it". How do you fake something like that? To me if you're faking it, there's got to be a little Jesus in your hear that you know of, know what I mean.
So if any of you have any advice for me on how to handle this let me know. Advice to where it doesn't sound like I'm preaching to him...I don't want to turn him away...
Friday, November 10, 2006
Everybody Loves 'Becky'
I was watching an episode of Everybody Loves Ramond last night. IT was about Ray's Father, Frank, being "Man of the Year". Ray's job was to put a video together of Frank's friends saying what they liked about him. Well...nobody had anything nice to say about him, so Ray improvised and made a different kind of video. Needless to say, Frank was a little disappointed.
Later that night, Frank got up enough courage to ask Marie, his wife, what she would have said if she would have been interviewed for the video, of course she said something very sweet and thoughtful about her husband. Just what Frank needed to hear. So in return Marie asked Frank what he would have said about her if the tables were turned. His response-he got up and said it was time for bed. Marie was furious! She looked right at him and said "That's why nobody likes you! You take and take and take and give nothing back in return. You just expect everyone to like you because you're Frank."
I've realized that I've somewhat turned into Frank. I just expect people to always like me and do things for me. I didn't used to be like that. I was always the giver and I guess sometimes you just get tired of giving and not receiving. When do the givers get something back?
I used to be very giving and ready to jump up and do anything for my friends. Not that I still don't do that...but it's a little different. I'm not as apt to be the first to open up and say what my friends mean to me...I don't know what's different, but it is. So to all my friends-thank you for putting up with me and my changed attitude. I would do anything for any of my friends and I hope they all realize that.
Later that night, Frank got up enough courage to ask Marie, his wife, what she would have said if she would have been interviewed for the video, of course she said something very sweet and thoughtful about her husband. Just what Frank needed to hear. So in return Marie asked Frank what he would have said about her if the tables were turned. His response-he got up and said it was time for bed. Marie was furious! She looked right at him and said "That's why nobody likes you! You take and take and take and give nothing back in return. You just expect everyone to like you because you're Frank."
I've realized that I've somewhat turned into Frank. I just expect people to always like me and do things for me. I didn't used to be like that. I was always the giver and I guess sometimes you just get tired of giving and not receiving. When do the givers get something back?
I used to be very giving and ready to jump up and do anything for my friends. Not that I still don't do that...but it's a little different. I'm not as apt to be the first to open up and say what my friends mean to me...I don't know what's different, but it is. So to all my friends-thank you for putting up with me and my changed attitude. I would do anything for any of my friends and I hope they all realize that.
Monday, November 06, 2006
7 Minute Ride
I go home for lunch every day pretty much, except for the days that the Secretary and I do something together...
Well my drive back was one of the most exciting I've had in a while.
First off, the weather is just perfect for riding with the windows down, which I LOVE to do!! So that right there just makes driving more enjoyable.
I drive past one of the many parks here in Georgetown to get to work and guess what...There's a CIRCUS TENT set up!! Yes, I know...Very exciting. Of course I'm sure it'll only be exciting on the weekends and yes, I'm booked for the next 4 weekends, so I won't get to see it. Which although makes me sad, I assume I'll survive. It is just neat to see a huge tent in the park.
The radio was playing great songs, which is good because I took all my CD's into my apartment because I was working on my mp3 player this weekend and I haven't yet put CD's back into the vehicle.
As I'm driving through town the radio show I was listening to made an announcement. Neil Patrick Harris, you may know him as Dr. Doogie Howser, is Gay. And apparently very proud of it. Which surprises me because his tv show "How I Met Your Mother", he's very NOT gay... So that was a very surprising moment.
Then, as I'm sitting at my last stop light before my arrival, I notice a SUV which was either a yukon/suburban/tahoe that had been converted into a hearse. Something I had NEVER seen before in my life.
What a way to end my drive.
I was just so excited about all the happenings on my short drive that I just had to share it!
Well my drive back was one of the most exciting I've had in a while.
First off, the weather is just perfect for riding with the windows down, which I LOVE to do!! So that right there just makes driving more enjoyable.
I drive past one of the many parks here in Georgetown to get to work and guess what...There's a CIRCUS TENT set up!! Yes, I know...Very exciting. Of course I'm sure it'll only be exciting on the weekends and yes, I'm booked for the next 4 weekends, so I won't get to see it. Which although makes me sad, I assume I'll survive. It is just neat to see a huge tent in the park.
The radio was playing great songs, which is good because I took all my CD's into my apartment because I was working on my mp3 player this weekend and I haven't yet put CD's back into the vehicle.
As I'm driving through town the radio show I was listening to made an announcement. Neil Patrick Harris, you may know him as Dr. Doogie Howser, is Gay. And apparently very proud of it. Which surprises me because his tv show "How I Met Your Mother", he's very NOT gay... So that was a very surprising moment.
Then, as I'm sitting at my last stop light before my arrival, I notice a SUV which was either a yukon/suburban/tahoe that had been converted into a hearse. Something I had NEVER seen before in my life.
What a way to end my drive.
I was just so excited about all the happenings on my short drive that I just had to share it!
Where's the Line?
Yesterday was another busy Sunday here at work. We had our annual Spaghetti lunch that the Senior High Youth put on. It was a huge success and everything ran very smoothly. It just makes for a busy/tiring day. Which is fine. I did a little mingling while everyone was eating to thank everyone for their support. I stopped at a table with a two year old boy. Now this little one is adorable. He always gives me hugs and runs with me, we have a great time. Well, I was going to leave the table and so I said "bye bye" and he said "bye bye" and gave me a hug and then he wanted to give me a kiss. Obviously his parents and sisters kiss him on the lips like most families do, and so he's learned that that is where you kiss people. My question is, is that OK for me to do? That may sound weird because he's a baby...but as a youth worker, is there a line? I'm not sure. I just kind of laughed and turned my head and said bye again...I just didn't know how to handle that. Is it OK if I kiss other peoples babies on the lips??? I don't know.
I'm also getting really stressed about the whole respect factor here at work. I've been here for 2 years and 8 months and my high school kids still look at me like another high schooler. It really gets to me sometimes. There are times when I ask them to do something or be quiet while I'm talking and apparently to them they hear "yes, have a conversation with your friends that is unrelated to what I'm saying." I absolutely HATE to yell, but I've found myself raising my voice pretty frequently lately, and that makes me sad. I don't like having to do that. I don't like that 'Becky.' All I'm asking for is a little respect, and it's only for a couple hours a week. I don't think that's too much to hope for. Is it?
I finally bought my plane ticket to South Carolina and so my trip to see my favorite girl is official!! I'm so excited to finally get to see Lauren. It will be about 6 months since I last saw her from when I do get to see her and I'm stoked!! Yes, I said stoked!! Saturday night I spent the evening getting my mp3 player loaded with new CD's, so that my plane ride will be more enjoyable. I'm just getting so excited!!
OK...back to work.
I'm also getting really stressed about the whole respect factor here at work. I've been here for 2 years and 8 months and my high school kids still look at me like another high schooler. It really gets to me sometimes. There are times when I ask them to do something or be quiet while I'm talking and apparently to them they hear "yes, have a conversation with your friends that is unrelated to what I'm saying." I absolutely HATE to yell, but I've found myself raising my voice pretty frequently lately, and that makes me sad. I don't like having to do that. I don't like that 'Becky.' All I'm asking for is a little respect, and it's only for a couple hours a week. I don't think that's too much to hope for. Is it?
I finally bought my plane ticket to South Carolina and so my trip to see my favorite girl is official!! I'm so excited to finally get to see Lauren. It will be about 6 months since I last saw her from when I do get to see her and I'm stoked!! Yes, I said stoked!! Saturday night I spent the evening getting my mp3 player loaded with new CD's, so that my plane ride will be more enjoyable. I'm just getting so excited!!
OK...back to work.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Wonderful Days
I just had one of the best weekends I've had in a while. Three days that were just wonderful and full of little things to make me smile!! Here's a recap:
FRIDAY:
This day starts off with lunch with my aunt. She takes me to lunch every now and then and always brings me presents. She doesn't have any children and so she enjoys spoiling her neices and nephews, and now that I'm one that lives close to Austin, she has taken it upon herself to focus much of her spending on me. Now sometimes it's awesome stuff...and sometimes it's stuff for a 12 year old, but it's the thought that counts. OK, so that was fun. The day continues with a stop at the new Outlet mall in Round Rock. It was a beautiful day to be walking around outside. I was there for a reason, I need a black sweater to wear over my new dress for a wedding on November 19. OK, so I didn't find anything, so I went shopping in Georgetown at Wolf Ranch. Great place. I go to TJ Maxx. I love that place. As I'm about to go in, I see a woman about 12 feet away that's about to come into the store, so I stand at the door and hold it open for her. She looks at me and says "thank you" and so I say "you're very welcome" and then she looks at me and says "You're a very nice person!" and I say "thank you". I love little acts of kindness like that. I thought I was just being polite and she thought it was wonderful, so that was a little smile for me to keep for the rest of the day!
I bought some wine glasses while I was there. I have been wanting a nice set of wine glasses for a while so I just went ahead and got some. I took them home and washed them, TWO sad things happened. I broke one in the sink while I was washing it, which almost made me cry (because I only had 3 ugly wine glasses to start off with and I was so excited about having a set of 4), and then...they're too tall to fit in my cabinets :( That was a bummer. They're still sitting out on my counter because I don't know where to store them...
OK, now were at Friday night. Kyle's roommate Eric's birthday was Friday and so there was a group of them that went camping. I went out for a while that night. I'm not about to sleep on the ground, so the plan was to stay until about midnight...OK, that didn't happen. I was really having a great time. Sitting around the fire, talking with people and watching boys act like men. It's super funny. OK, so they're not really boys....maybe I should have said, Men acting like boys. They get funny when they're out in the wilderness. When midnight came around the guys wanted to take a trek to the river. I thought that was a good time to leave, they walk away and I sneak off to my VUE. Well, sometimes you just can't get passed a guy that is 6'6" and built like a brick wall. I was slung over the shoulders and carried into the woods, far enough to wear I would be scared to walk back to my vehicle by myself. So yes, I did make the trip to the river. Which I was glad I did because it was fun. Cold, but fun. I got to see a side of these guys that I don't rarely get to see...so I'm glad I stayed later than I planned. That usually happens, and I'm usually glad that I stay. OK...
SATURDAY:
I sleep till 11:30, so that right there is a good way to start a Saturday. I ran a couple errands in town and then decided that I wanted to see a movie. I drive to Tinseltown to see the 3:30 showing of The Prestige. I bought my coke from the counter and as I was saying "thank you" the guy behind the counter, he was maybe mid 30's, looks at me and says "you have such a beautiful smile". I blushed, said "thank you" and walked away. Again, another little act of kindness that made me smile. It's the little things. I watch the movie. It was excellent, I highly recommend it.
As I was walking back to my car I noticed that I missed a call from an old friend. Apparently he was working a lock-in at a church in Pflugerville where I just so happened to be. How ironic. So I drive out to where he is and we get to hang out for just a little bit. I hadn't seen him since February, so it was nice to see a familiar face again. For the past 4 years or so I've been in his cell phone as Boo. So that always makes me smile. What a great kid!
So that was a great Saturday. Plus, we all got an extra hour of sleep that night!
SUNDAY:
Confirmation Sunday. I could have ripped my hair out getting everything prepared for this Sunday. But everything ran so smoothly. I hate that I stress and overthink everything. It was a great service. I wore a dress! I haven't worn a dress that wasn't a bridesmaids dress in a very long time. Yes, I wear skirts every now and then, but a dress is different. So I got pleny of compliments that day, which of course made me smile. I got to go to a great after party with a delicious lunch and then it was back to church for some work.
I took a group of middle schoolers to a hockey game. I was excited, it was my first one. Sporting events are so much more fun live. I had a great time. Plus, afterwards, we all got to ice-skate with the Hockey players. Now that's a neat thing. Of course, I'm such a chicken that I didn't talk to any of them, but it was still a neat thing to do.
FRIDAY:
This day starts off with lunch with my aunt. She takes me to lunch every now and then and always brings me presents. She doesn't have any children and so she enjoys spoiling her neices and nephews, and now that I'm one that lives close to Austin, she has taken it upon herself to focus much of her spending on me. Now sometimes it's awesome stuff...and sometimes it's stuff for a 12 year old, but it's the thought that counts. OK, so that was fun. The day continues with a stop at the new Outlet mall in Round Rock. It was a beautiful day to be walking around outside. I was there for a reason, I need a black sweater to wear over my new dress for a wedding on November 19. OK, so I didn't find anything, so I went shopping in Georgetown at Wolf Ranch. Great place. I go to TJ Maxx. I love that place. As I'm about to go in, I see a woman about 12 feet away that's about to come into the store, so I stand at the door and hold it open for her. She looks at me and says "thank you" and so I say "you're very welcome" and then she looks at me and says "You're a very nice person!" and I say "thank you". I love little acts of kindness like that. I thought I was just being polite and she thought it was wonderful, so that was a little smile for me to keep for the rest of the day!
I bought some wine glasses while I was there. I have been wanting a nice set of wine glasses for a while so I just went ahead and got some. I took them home and washed them, TWO sad things happened. I broke one in the sink while I was washing it, which almost made me cry (because I only had 3 ugly wine glasses to start off with and I was so excited about having a set of 4), and then...they're too tall to fit in my cabinets :( That was a bummer. They're still sitting out on my counter because I don't know where to store them...
OK, now were at Friday night. Kyle's roommate Eric's birthday was Friday and so there was a group of them that went camping. I went out for a while that night. I'm not about to sleep on the ground, so the plan was to stay until about midnight...OK, that didn't happen. I was really having a great time. Sitting around the fire, talking with people and watching boys act like men. It's super funny. OK, so they're not really boys....maybe I should have said, Men acting like boys. They get funny when they're out in the wilderness. When midnight came around the guys wanted to take a trek to the river. I thought that was a good time to leave, they walk away and I sneak off to my VUE. Well, sometimes you just can't get passed a guy that is 6'6" and built like a brick wall. I was slung over the shoulders and carried into the woods, far enough to wear I would be scared to walk back to my vehicle by myself. So yes, I did make the trip to the river. Which I was glad I did because it was fun. Cold, but fun. I got to see a side of these guys that I don't rarely get to see...so I'm glad I stayed later than I planned. That usually happens, and I'm usually glad that I stay. OK...
SATURDAY:
I sleep till 11:30, so that right there is a good way to start a Saturday. I ran a couple errands in town and then decided that I wanted to see a movie. I drive to Tinseltown to see the 3:30 showing of The Prestige. I bought my coke from the counter and as I was saying "thank you" the guy behind the counter, he was maybe mid 30's, looks at me and says "you have such a beautiful smile". I blushed, said "thank you" and walked away. Again, another little act of kindness that made me smile. It's the little things. I watch the movie. It was excellent, I highly recommend it.
As I was walking back to my car I noticed that I missed a call from an old friend. Apparently he was working a lock-in at a church in Pflugerville where I just so happened to be. How ironic. So I drive out to where he is and we get to hang out for just a little bit. I hadn't seen him since February, so it was nice to see a familiar face again. For the past 4 years or so I've been in his cell phone as Boo. So that always makes me smile. What a great kid!
So that was a great Saturday. Plus, we all got an extra hour of sleep that night!
SUNDAY:
Confirmation Sunday. I could have ripped my hair out getting everything prepared for this Sunday. But everything ran so smoothly. I hate that I stress and overthink everything. It was a great service. I wore a dress! I haven't worn a dress that wasn't a bridesmaids dress in a very long time. Yes, I wear skirts every now and then, but a dress is different. So I got pleny of compliments that day, which of course made me smile. I got to go to a great after party with a delicious lunch and then it was back to church for some work.
I took a group of middle schoolers to a hockey game. I was excited, it was my first one. Sporting events are so much more fun live. I had a great time. Plus, afterwards, we all got to ice-skate with the Hockey players. Now that's a neat thing. Of course, I'm such a chicken that I didn't talk to any of them, but it was still a neat thing to do.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Beckalicious
As I was driving home from Confirmation class last night I heard the new Fergie song on the radio called "Fergalicious" and I thought it would be funny to put my name in the place of Fergies name for some of the lyrics...It's good stuff. It's just bits and pieces, but here is what it would look like with my name and some lyrics cut out of the song!
BECKALICIOUS
Beckalicious definition make them boys go loco
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons
Beckalicious (Beckalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that s**t is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got
I'm the B to the E, C the K the Y
And can't no other lady put it down like me
That was fun, wasn't it?!! Just a little break in the day to put a smile on your face!!
Also, yesterday at lunch I went and bought the Mat Kearney CD, Nothing Left to Lose. It's a good one. But of course, I only buy good CD's. I'm waiting for next year for the Sick Puppies CD to come out because that one is going to be out of this world AMAZING! I recommend both of them!
BECKALICIOUS
Beckalicious definition make them boys go loco
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons
Beckalicious (Beckalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that s**t is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got
I'm the B to the E, C the K the Y
And can't no other lady put it down like me
That was fun, wasn't it?!! Just a little break in the day to put a smile on your face!!
Also, yesterday at lunch I went and bought the Mat Kearney CD, Nothing Left to Lose. It's a good one. But of course, I only buy good CD's. I'm waiting for next year for the Sick Puppies CD to come out because that one is going to be out of this world AMAZING! I recommend both of them!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Go Ahead, Tell me You'll Leave Again
Lying in my bed trying to fall asleep is when I come up with all these exciting things to write about in my blog the next day. And as soon as I sit down in front of the computer to let it all come out...I'm just blank. That drives me crazy. It even keeps me up at night because I have all these great ideas, and I try to come up with interesting way to write about them...I need to start keeping a notepad by my bed.
One thing that has really been bothering me, and I know it shouldn't but I can't help it...is the age difference between people in relationships. I know eventually it doesn't matter, my parents are 5 years apart, my best friend is 9 years younger than her husband, but I guess I see those as being acceptable because I know these men...they're good people. As for some other guys that I know...I know exactly why they're going for these younger girls and it just makes me want to scream. If I didn't know these boys intentions, I don't think it would bother me as much. But they've come right out and told me and it just gets me all riled up.
Apparently girls that are closer to their age are more mature and know what they want out of life and these girls that are under the age of 20 are all...lets drink and be stupid. No, I'm not being stereotypical...I've hung out with them and know them. I'm not saying don't have fun...just don't be "silly" about it.
I use the word "silly" in place of another word because I don't want to be vulgar for my readers. Now I like these guys....let me rephrase that...I LIKED (past tense) these guys, they're great people on the outside and to everyone else they're responsible, mature and all around good boys, but I've talked with them. Even had them on pedastools because of what I thought they represented. Had their hearts poured out to me, only to find out something younger and dumber would be easier to handle. Now I could just be bitter...but I've seen them together and it's makes me want to scrub every part of my body....
It also drives me crazy when family does that. I love everyone in my family so much. And to hear that someone younger is who they're looking for really makes me skin crawl. Why is that? Why do guys always look for someone that is 5-10 years younger than them? I don't get it. What can you possible have in common? Especially when the girls is barely in college and the guy has been out of college for years...I can understand later on in life when they're both on the same track of being out of college and living on their own. Whatever. I just hate to see these young girls get hurt...it makes me hurt for them.
So to all you boys out there...just be careful of what you're doing. Know that girls always fall harder than you do could possibly be reading into a situation more than you are. Just be cautious of what you're doing.
Also on another note, I know I'm 4 weeks early, but I am getting so excited about Thanksgiving. This is my all time favorite holiday!! Why you ask...mostly because there's a couple different types of mashed potatoes that are served that day, but because it's just a great holiday. The whole family gets together and all you have to worry about is food. You don't have to buy gifts for 30 people, you don't have to wrap the 30 gifts, all you do is sit around and eat all day. Maybe watch a little football and take naps, but it's a day dedicated to eating. Now I may not look like someone that eats a lot...but believe me, I can put it away. That is one holiday when I hate that I'm a picky eater. I mostly just eat the turkey, mashed potatoes and a roll....but I always get seconds. There's usually not a vegetable that I like served on that day and I don't know why that is. Then a couple hours after eating...it's time to hit the desert table. Deliciousness all around!!
29 more days!!!
I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do
I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here
Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden
And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am
I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here
Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same
Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same
In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same
Go ahead say it you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
-Sick Puppies
One thing that has really been bothering me, and I know it shouldn't but I can't help it...is the age difference between people in relationships. I know eventually it doesn't matter, my parents are 5 years apart, my best friend is 9 years younger than her husband, but I guess I see those as being acceptable because I know these men...they're good people. As for some other guys that I know...I know exactly why they're going for these younger girls and it just makes me want to scream. If I didn't know these boys intentions, I don't think it would bother me as much. But they've come right out and told me and it just gets me all riled up.
Apparently girls that are closer to their age are more mature and know what they want out of life and these girls that are under the age of 20 are all...lets drink and be stupid. No, I'm not being stereotypical...I've hung out with them and know them. I'm not saying don't have fun...just don't be "silly" about it.
I use the word "silly" in place of another word because I don't want to be vulgar for my readers. Now I like these guys....let me rephrase that...I LIKED (past tense) these guys, they're great people on the outside and to everyone else they're responsible, mature and all around good boys, but I've talked with them. Even had them on pedastools because of what I thought they represented. Had their hearts poured out to me, only to find out something younger and dumber would be easier to handle. Now I could just be bitter...but I've seen them together and it's makes me want to scrub every part of my body....
It also drives me crazy when family does that. I love everyone in my family so much. And to hear that someone younger is who they're looking for really makes me skin crawl. Why is that? Why do guys always look for someone that is 5-10 years younger than them? I don't get it. What can you possible have in common? Especially when the girls is barely in college and the guy has been out of college for years...I can understand later on in life when they're both on the same track of being out of college and living on their own. Whatever. I just hate to see these young girls get hurt...it makes me hurt for them.
So to all you boys out there...just be careful of what you're doing. Know that girls always fall harder than you do could possibly be reading into a situation more than you are. Just be cautious of what you're doing.
Also on another note, I know I'm 4 weeks early, but I am getting so excited about Thanksgiving. This is my all time favorite holiday!! Why you ask...mostly because there's a couple different types of mashed potatoes that are served that day, but because it's just a great holiday. The whole family gets together and all you have to worry about is food. You don't have to buy gifts for 30 people, you don't have to wrap the 30 gifts, all you do is sit around and eat all day. Maybe watch a little football and take naps, but it's a day dedicated to eating. Now I may not look like someone that eats a lot...but believe me, I can put it away. That is one holiday when I hate that I'm a picky eater. I mostly just eat the turkey, mashed potatoes and a roll....but I always get seconds. There's usually not a vegetable that I like served on that day and I don't know why that is. Then a couple hours after eating...it's time to hit the desert table. Deliciousness all around!!
29 more days!!!
I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do
I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here
Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden
And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am
I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here
Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same
Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same
In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same
Go ahead say it you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
-Sick Puppies
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
I'm Broken
Well it's been a while since I've reached out to you all in the land of the internet. It's been a busy week and half. I had almost gone insane...but then I came back.
I was very excited to go to Kerrville last week. We were going to have a mini-retreat for the San Antonio and Austin Conference Youth Directors. Something that I really needed. First I had to get up before 7:00 AM, so that was rough, and when I get up early I usually get that nauseous feeling in my stomach. Well that feeling wasn't going away even after getting out of bed and getting dressed and ready to go. My ride got to my apartment at about 7:15 and came up to my place. I told her I wasn't feeling well...long story summurized: I lost 5 pounds on Thursday because I was so sick. That's right...throwing up from 7:30 a.m. to 10:30...that makes for a long horrible day. It was awful. But I got to take lots of little naps and watch loads of TV. I like TV!!
Props to Kyle for bringing me some Delicous Gatorade (which I later threw up) and Over the Hedge. I haven't been sick like that in so long that I forgot how horrible feels.
So I spent the rest of the weekend laying on my couch and watching TV and sleeping. It was semi-relaxing, semi-recovery. Didn't eat much, so I didn't have much strength. But I got enough of it to go to Trunk-Or-Treat. That's just a little event that the church puts on for a Halloween Celebration. We line up our cars, decorate our trunks and the kids get dressed up and trick-or-treat from trunk to trunk!! It's fun.
Now I guess I'm still in some sort of recovery process. I still just feel so tired all day and my appetite is just shot. Nothing sounds good, and nothing tastes good.
"If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall...
...I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you"
-Sanctus Real
I was very excited to go to Kerrville last week. We were going to have a mini-retreat for the San Antonio and Austin Conference Youth Directors. Something that I really needed. First I had to get up before 7:00 AM, so that was rough, and when I get up early I usually get that nauseous feeling in my stomach. Well that feeling wasn't going away even after getting out of bed and getting dressed and ready to go. My ride got to my apartment at about 7:15 and came up to my place. I told her I wasn't feeling well...long story summurized: I lost 5 pounds on Thursday because I was so sick. That's right...throwing up from 7:30 a.m. to 10:30...that makes for a long horrible day. It was awful. But I got to take lots of little naps and watch loads of TV. I like TV!!
Props to Kyle for bringing me some Delicous Gatorade (which I later threw up) and Over the Hedge. I haven't been sick like that in so long that I forgot how horrible feels.
So I spent the rest of the weekend laying on my couch and watching TV and sleeping. It was semi-relaxing, semi-recovery. Didn't eat much, so I didn't have much strength. But I got enough of it to go to Trunk-Or-Treat. That's just a little event that the church puts on for a Halloween Celebration. We line up our cars, decorate our trunks and the kids get dressed up and trick-or-treat from trunk to trunk!! It's fun.
Now I guess I'm still in some sort of recovery process. I still just feel so tired all day and my appetite is just shot. Nothing sounds good, and nothing tastes good.
"If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall...
...I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you"
-Sanctus Real
Monday, October 16, 2006
Cacahuete Festival
The 2nd weekend in October is dedicated to the Peanut Festival in Floresville Texas. Why a "Peanut" festival you ask...well, Floresville just so happens to be the Peanut Capitol of Texas. I know, that's a big deal. Of course, this is the weekend when college students come home, or people that moved away come back for a visit because they know everyone will be in town. Small town fun! It runs from Friday afternoon until late Saturday night.
I went out with my brother for a little while on Friday evening and ran into some old friends and family. You'll always run into someone you know. It really isn't that exciting, so Daniel and I went to Roper's. The only decent bar in town. We ran into our next door neighbor there. Our families have lived next door to each other for, I would say, about 27 years. They just so happen to be my God-Parents. My God Mother was killed by a drunk driver last November and it was a pretty rough ordeal. They had lost their 21 year old son to Asthma when I was really young and now this. The poor family has been through more, but that's none of your business. It just a different situation. Guy, my God Father, must have been there by himself, but knew the men around him. We got to chit-chatting for a little bit and he bought my brother and I a drink. Then we sort of went our seperate ways. I went back to talk a little more, but he kept saying how much he missed his wife and how he thinks about her every day and how he wished she was here to see me (it had been a while since I had seen the both of them). It was just a really emotional encounter. I never have the right words to comfort someone like that. I mean, they had been married for over 30 years and now she's gone. What do I know about any of that? I just hugged him and told him how good it was to see him out and about. Although a bar really isn't the place he should be out at, but still. I guess it's better to be out socially than stuck in a big house by yourself. All in all, I'm really glad that I ran into him.
Even after a late night, I got up to go to the parade the next morning. That was a little tougher than I expected. We always meet up with my uncle in the usual spot in front of the electric company. I got to see my cousin Sarah, that I dont' get to see that much. Plus some more of my Dad's side of the family. What a great weekend.
Narrowing down what I want to do with my future, which I'm a little excited about. Hopefully everything will work out the way I want it to.
I went out with my brother for a little while on Friday evening and ran into some old friends and family. You'll always run into someone you know. It really isn't that exciting, so Daniel and I went to Roper's. The only decent bar in town. We ran into our next door neighbor there. Our families have lived next door to each other for, I would say, about 27 years. They just so happen to be my God-Parents. My God Mother was killed by a drunk driver last November and it was a pretty rough ordeal. They had lost their 21 year old son to Asthma when I was really young and now this. The poor family has been through more, but that's none of your business. It just a different situation. Guy, my God Father, must have been there by himself, but knew the men around him. We got to chit-chatting for a little bit and he bought my brother and I a drink. Then we sort of went our seperate ways. I went back to talk a little more, but he kept saying how much he missed his wife and how he thinks about her every day and how he wished she was here to see me (it had been a while since I had seen the both of them). It was just a really emotional encounter. I never have the right words to comfort someone like that. I mean, they had been married for over 30 years and now she's gone. What do I know about any of that? I just hugged him and told him how good it was to see him out and about. Although a bar really isn't the place he should be out at, but still. I guess it's better to be out socially than stuck in a big house by yourself. All in all, I'm really glad that I ran into him.
Even after a late night, I got up to go to the parade the next morning. That was a little tougher than I expected. We always meet up with my uncle in the usual spot in front of the electric company. I got to see my cousin Sarah, that I dont' get to see that much. Plus some more of my Dad's side of the family. What a great weekend.
Narrowing down what I want to do with my future, which I'm a little excited about. Hopefully everything will work out the way I want it to.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
You are my Joy
There's always that one song that can kind of just GET YOU GOING...you get pumped up and ready to go face the world. Maybe a theme song for you. I am one of those people that always seem to think of a song during conversation. In college when I would be walking around and this certain baseball player would walk by the only thing I would think of was the song "I want you to want me"...That song now comes up for other people as well...that song or the Mr. Big song "I'm the one that wants to be with you"...
When I see my friend Lauren I think of the lyrics "You are more Beautiful, than anyone EVER..." I just can't help myself. There's just music constantly playing in my head.
With that said...this is my new PUMP me up and get excited about life song:
And He set me on fire
And I am burning alive
With His breath in my lungs
I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
I need to catch my breath,
I need to I need to catch my breath,
give me a moment now
by The David Crowder Band...
My Original pump me up song is "Ice Ice Baby"...that one will always get me excited. But for now, this is my back up!
When I see my friend Lauren I think of the lyrics "You are more Beautiful, than anyone EVER..." I just can't help myself. There's just music constantly playing in my head.
With that said...this is my new PUMP me up and get excited about life song:
And He set me on fire
And I am burning alive
With His breath in my lungs
I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
I need to catch my breath,
I need to I need to catch my breath,
give me a moment now
by The David Crowder Band...
My Original pump me up song is "Ice Ice Baby"...that one will always get me excited. But for now, this is my back up!
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Where to Even Begin
What an amazing weekend. I couldn't have asked for a better one...it was much needed.
I attended the National Youth Worker's Convention from Youth Specialties. It was in Austin, but a friend and I got a hotel room for the weekend so it was like a mini-vacation. The speakers were great, the worship leaders were awesome, and fellowship is just always a good time. There was laughing, crying, praying, revealing, contemplating and so much more. I am worn out from all the walking and listening but I am so glad that I got to participate in it.
It's that little extra push of excitement about what I do that was a little overwhelming. I can't explain it, but right now, I'm so excited about what I do. I wish I didn't just get that once a year. But even so, I'm glad I got it. I could right an essay about everything that went on, but instead, I'm not. If you really want to know what happened, you can ask and I'll tell you!
I attended the National Youth Worker's Convention from Youth Specialties. It was in Austin, but a friend and I got a hotel room for the weekend so it was like a mini-vacation. The speakers were great, the worship leaders were awesome, and fellowship is just always a good time. There was laughing, crying, praying, revealing, contemplating and so much more. I am worn out from all the walking and listening but I am so glad that I got to participate in it.
It's that little extra push of excitement about what I do that was a little overwhelming. I can't explain it, but right now, I'm so excited about what I do. I wish I didn't just get that once a year. But even so, I'm glad I got it. I could right an essay about everything that went on, but instead, I'm not. If you really want to know what happened, you can ask and I'll tell you!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
They're Big, I'm Little.
Well the doctor visit went well. Although I had to sit in a freezing cold room all by myself without my shirt on. Which was weird. I don't usually take my shirt off for many people...
Good thing the doctor was pretty cute...married...but still good looking. He poked around on my back and made my bend over and stretch and all that good stuff. I told him the 3 different muscle relaxers that I've been on for my back...and he prescribed one of the same ones to me. Yay...more drugs.
Anyways...for now, his diagnosis is a herniated disc. There are many different terms to describe a herniated disc, such as a pinched nerve, bulging disc, ruptured disc or slipped disc. So for now I have to take a barrel full of ibuprofen a day and go to physical therapy a couple times a week until I get the hang of the exercises for me to do them on my own at home. So I'll go there this afternoon and see what's going on.
I guess this is just the first step in a process of relieving back pain, but I figure I've been dealing with this since my Junior Year of High School, it's about time. So that's that...hopefully my hour of exercise today will do some good.
On another note...I missed some voicemails on Monday, and I'm assuming it's because I turned my phone off while I was in the doctors office. Well, last night at 2:54 A.M. my voicemail on my phone sounded...so I decided to check it, since it scared me awake. No new messages. My phone just decided to pull a prank on my. NOT FUNNY. There were no missed calls, but it still went of. It was a little freaky...but oh well.
Good thing the doctor was pretty cute...married...but still good looking. He poked around on my back and made my bend over and stretch and all that good stuff. I told him the 3 different muscle relaxers that I've been on for my back...and he prescribed one of the same ones to me. Yay...more drugs.
Anyways...for now, his diagnosis is a herniated disc. There are many different terms to describe a herniated disc, such as a pinched nerve, bulging disc, ruptured disc or slipped disc. So for now I have to take a barrel full of ibuprofen a day and go to physical therapy a couple times a week until I get the hang of the exercises for me to do them on my own at home. So I'll go there this afternoon and see what's going on.
I guess this is just the first step in a process of relieving back pain, but I figure I've been dealing with this since my Junior Year of High School, it's about time. So that's that...hopefully my hour of exercise today will do some good.
On another note...I missed some voicemails on Monday, and I'm assuming it's because I turned my phone off while I was in the doctors office. Well, last night at 2:54 A.M. my voicemail on my phone sounded...so I decided to check it, since it scared me awake. No new messages. My phone just decided to pull a prank on my. NOT FUNNY. There were no missed calls, but it still went of. It was a little freaky...but oh well.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Finally
Well I finally did it...I'm going to go see a doctor this afternoon about my back.
After years of being uncomfortable, I'm going to get it checked out. I left work early on Thursday because I was in so much I couldn't concentrate on anything. So it was a rough day and Friday wasn't any better...then I had to go camping on Saturday.
Anyways....Thursday when I left work, I went and bought Back Pain Pills, some Emu lotion (I had gotten some in college it's supposed to be good for sore muscles) and a Lumbar pillow. And I still laid on the couch crying because everything hurt.
So Friday I spent most of the day on the phone with insurance figuring out all my deductables and what not. I found an Orthopedist on Georgetown that takes my insurance and had an opening today. So I took it.
I'm not expecting much because I've been to doctors for my back before...but I'm hoping it's a start and he can tell me what the next step is in getting this taken care of.
I'll let you know.
After years of being uncomfortable, I'm going to get it checked out. I left work early on Thursday because I was in so much I couldn't concentrate on anything. So it was a rough day and Friday wasn't any better...then I had to go camping on Saturday.
Anyways....Thursday when I left work, I went and bought Back Pain Pills, some Emu lotion (I had gotten some in college it's supposed to be good for sore muscles) and a Lumbar pillow. And I still laid on the couch crying because everything hurt.
So Friday I spent most of the day on the phone with insurance figuring out all my deductables and what not. I found an Orthopedist on Georgetown that takes my insurance and had an opening today. So I took it.
I'm not expecting much because I've been to doctors for my back before...but I'm hoping it's a start and he can tell me what the next step is in getting this taken care of.
I'll let you know.
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