Secrets don't make Friends...But Friends make Secrets

Last night as I was sitting in stupid traffic on I35 at 10:00 p.m. it kind of hit me...What am I going to do when Lauren's gone? She has definitely been a support system for me up here. I feel very close to her and you know what...we've really only be friends for about 2 years or so.

Anyways...we had our usually Wednesday evening meeting last night. And to be honest...it was definitely one of my favorites. I look back at our other Starbuck's conversations...they were all great...but this one was just really good. We really shared a lot about ourselves and our lives and it was just nice to have someone to do that with.

Personally I have been dealing with this "thing" for about a year now. I keep it to myself mostly out of embarrassment or stupidity or whatever. It was just so nice to actually just say it to someone. It doesn't make it go away...but just having that person listen to you and to have someone other than myself know that I have these thoughts, makes it a little comforting. Plus just being able to speak them is a bit of therapy.

I'm really going to miss our Starbuck's talks. Sadness...
It's funny to think what life is going to be like in about 5 years. To look back and think...Remember when we used to meet up at Starbucks and talk about what I life would be like now...It's going to be interesting.

I've really gotten into commercials lately. Mostly because you can't really get away from them, it's like 10 minutes of a TV show to 20 minutes of commercials. Anyways...some of them really draw me it. I guess mostly because I'm a girl and when one about a wedding comes on I'm very drawn to it. There was one about the Men's Warehouse, you know what I'm talking about. And it was saying how everyone's attention is on the flower's and the Bride and no one really looks at anything else. But while everyone is looking at the Bride...she's looking at you. How true...so you want to look your best.
I hope I'm like that...not looking around to make sure the flowers look right or that all my friends are there or whatever...I want to just be looking at whoever is standing at the front of the church waiting for me...

Ahhh....


"there has to be something
there has to be someone out there
there has to be an answer
a prescription a prayer."
-Custom

Child Birth...who knew?

I've learned that Child birth is nothing like what the movies make it out to be:
-Lady goes in pregnant
-Lady gets an epidural
-Lady pops out a Baby
-Lady and Baby go home

I have learned so much from one of my best friends about how this "miracle" really works. It's more like hours of pain and uncomfortableness. AND it's very disgusting, so I'm not really going to talk about it. But it almost in a way...makes me NOT want to have to go through all that pain and grossness.
Did you know that the baby can start peaking out...and then get sucked right back in? That would just piss me off. And if the epidural doesn't work...that's just awful.
It takes months for your body to get back to normal...and it's apparently a very uncomfortable time for the 6 weeks after the baby is out. Then you have to start worrying about how your going to lose all the weight you gained. I had no idea. The list just goes on with all the stuff that happens.

Now there are plenty of babies in my family but no one really goes into all the gross details about what really went on. Quite frankly...it's nuts. I saw a picture of a Placenta...now that's a gross body part. I realize that that is what the baby is living off of...but please...keep it covered.

I could go on and on about all the stuff that I learned...but seriously...no one wants to hear it. You have to experience it and actually get a child out of it to appreciate it. Right now...to me...it's just ridiculous.

Although, I heard from Becca's mother that "I'm a natural". I guess I just know the right way to handle a little baby because I've been through it 4 times with my cousins having children. I don't feel awkward to pick up and hold a baby. Diapers are another story...I'll take them while they're clean, thank you. I'm just ready to spoil the crap out of the precious baby and see her as much as I can because they'll leaving on May 25 for Colorado. Now that's quick.

So the openings for new girl friends for Becky is beginning. There's too many girls leaving me at the start of Summer and I'm going to need some replacements. Remember you need to be in the Austin area to apply because long distance just isn't going to cut it...OK....Great. I'll get applications out as soon as I put something together.

I just have to Brag a little more

I'm so happy to see her!! 

What a sweet girl!! 

I just can't seem to get enough of her 

Her Mamma loves her too!! 

Little sleepy head 

I Love her SOOO much already!! 

New Life

As promised...
Here's a little sneak peak of the beautiful Elicia Cox...She's gonna be a heart breaker isn't she...

I also put up some other fun pictures to check out!!

Aunty Becky says her first Hello!! 

Yup...That's one beautiful Baby Girl!! 

Daddy's calming touch 

Don't cry Elicia...Daddy's here. 

Daddy holding baby's foot...what a difference. 

All over the Place

Goodness it's just been one thing after the other here. . .

Got to go home for a couple nights before Easter to spend some time with the family. All 6 of us where there for lunch this past Saturday...that doesn't really happen seeing as our work schedule is all over the place. But I'm glad everything worked out. Had some delicious ribs and quality time together as a family. I miss that. We usually only do that at holidays...we used to do that EVERY DAY for dinner when we were all at home.

For some reason we really got into playing dominoes this weekend. We never play dominoes, but my mom bought a set and we all just really enjoyed it. Friday after church my parents and I stayed up until after midnight playing. My parents usually don't stay up past 10:30, so it was a big deal.

Easter Sunday was great. I had never been out on Easter Sunday because we're always doing Family stuff, but Lauren and I tried to do some entertaining stuff...but all the parking lots were empty. I guess I'm glad they were, because they should be respectful of the Holiday. Anyways...

I had yesterday off and it was very productive. I bought new tires for my VUE, did a little shopping to treat myself...New shoes. I LOVE shoes, and I haven't really bought "good" shoes in a while, so I spend the $50 on them and I'm wearing them today...they're too cute. Then I went to the movies. I saw "The Benchwarmers". It was a pretty good movie, not really what I expected so I'm glad I only paid $2.75 to see it.

I got a phone call yesterday from a gentleman named Ryan. Now Ryan is a teacher at one of my girls schools and was given my name and number by this girls mother. Everyone thinks that it is their place to fix me up with whoever comes into their path. Anyways...we talked for a while. He sounds nice enough...but sometimes that's just a little scary to be put in this type of situation. I have no idea what he looks like or anything!!! I guess we'll do dinner or coffee sometime. We'll see how this goes...

Lastly...I'm an AUNT!!! I guess not Technically an "aunt" because it wasn't my brother's who had a baby, but close enough. One of my best friends, Becca had a beautiful baby girl last night. Seriously, I already love her so much. There were a little complications, so when I went to see her I couldn't hold her because of fevers and tests and what nots, but I'll hopefully go back later tonight and hold her.
Now I hate to say this, but there are some ugly babies out there. But this one...oh man, this one is perfect. She's just a pretty baby. She has all her fingers and toes and eyes and elbows. I hate that I don't have a digital camera because I want to show you all how gorgeous she is. But you'll just have to put on your patient pants until I can get them developed. I guess that will be my next investment...a Digital Camera.

Love Monkey

I've gotten into this new thing called reading. And as much as I used to say I hate reading, I kind of like it now. I've read a few books this month alone, I just go through them like it's no big deal. Anyways...my old boss Sam-E was reading this book called, "Love Monkey" by Kyle Smith. It's a book written for guys from a guys perspective.

This intrigued me. Mostly because Sam-E said I probably wouldn't like it. So, I got online and bought it, cheap.

I just finished it. It's about a guy's dating life in New York. It weird to see how guys think compared to how I think. He goes through girls like it's no big deal, but he really only Truly wants to be with one of them...and of course she has a terrible boy friend that she's not going to leave for this guy that would treat her like a queen...Yes, girls are like that.

Anyways...one of the quotes that stuck out to me was: Do I really want to know what I'm missing? This guy really did want to know what he's missing. And I'm thinking to myself...No, because once you have it...you're always going to want it. Of course he was talking about sex, I'm just thinking of the companionship and the love between two people. (but I'm a girl and I think differently from guys).

Now, I'm always one to lend my advice to anyone that is seeking...but I rarely EVER listen to myself. Of course I would want to know what I'm missing. Just to experience for a split second and have that moment of happiness than a lifetime of just settling. Know what I mean? But then..it's always the same thing...you go back to that moment in time. You want that same experience over and over again and compare anything that comes close to it as not being that same.
Nothing is ever going to compare and then you're always going to be miserable. But as a girl, I don't listen to myself...Whatev.

Another thing on my mind that just kind of hit me...I totally want a baby. Now I'm not being stupid or anything, but I've be around a few toddler's and I'm thinking, Oh my Gosh, I can't wait to have one of these. Of course I won't even think about seriously having a child until after being married for a while...but still.

Then I'm thinking, what kind of mother am I going to be? Of course I want my child to be independant and self sure and all that wonderful stuff...but I just know that I'm going to want to do everything for my child so that they have a perfect life. I guess we'll just see when the time comes.
Then I was thinking...Lauren could totally marry my when I get married. But I think I would like her to do something else at my wedding....I guess that's if I ever meet someone that makes me not want to be so darn independant.

Oh yea another thing that I got upset about...I mean, not depressed or anything. I went to an auction on Friday night and decided to bid on this ONE good item: Dinner for six at the Fire Station prepared by the Fire Men!!! How Awesome would that have been?!! Dinner with Hot fire men!!! But I lost... I wasn't willing to give them enough money. Oh well...
But it was a great idea, I thought.