Temporarily Closed

I don't really like to go graocery shopping because I never know what to buy. It's so hard to buy food for just one person. Cooking is even harder because there are days of left-overs after I cook. Well, I went home for lunch today like I do every day, and everyday I stare into my pantry and tell myself "there's nothing to eat." I decided I would just stop at Jack-In-the-Box because it's right by where I work. Well, I pull up and there is a van blocking the drive-thru. I was pissed. Why in the world would a van just park in the middle of the drive-thru. Well, there was a sign in the window that said - Store closed Temporarily-. Weird, I just ate there the night before, now I'm scared there's something wrong with the place.

How odd though...who just temporarily closes a fast food chain for part of the day. So then I had to turn around and go back into town to get something to eat. I ended up going to Wendy's. Instead of going through the drive-thru I went in and ordered my food to go. I think I was there less time than the people in the drive-thru were. Lazy Sons of Guns. Idiots! Just go inside, it's much quicker if you're in a hurry.

It's just been an irritating day. When I got back from lunch I had to go to a meeting that I wasn't even involved in. I just sat there for 2 HOURS. What a waste of my afternoon. I think I'm going to go home early though because I worked late last night and this weekend is going to be ridiculously busy. So There. Peace Out.

"Now it seems to me that you know just what to say. Words are only words. Can you show me something else? Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way, Show me how you feel more than ever baby. I don't wanna be lonely no more, I don't wanna have to pay for this. I don't want another lover at my door. Just another heartache on my list." -Rob Thomas

"PINK is my favorite color"

Well I FINALLY got to go out last night. I haven't gone out in so long it was so nice to just get a beer with a friend. I think just haveing a conversation with someone other than my boss was greatly needed. I went with my friend Lauren, she's going with me to Key West this summer. We actually went to college and graduated together, but never really hung out until we both got jobs in the Austin area. It's weird how friendships just happen like that. We really clicked when we started hanging out. She's like a new old friend. Awesome.

A lady just came into my office and handed me an extra breakfast taco. Yes! I don't really eat breakfast because I'm too lazy in the mornings, and I don't really have many grocery's left. So free food is awesome. Plus I get snacks with the quilting ladies in about 10 minutes.

I'm trying to get hyped up about this weekend and my big event that I'm planning for Sunday with "the" guy. I'm nervous and excited and all kinds of other emotions. But I think I'm mostly nervous. I don't know why I get myself so worked up over stuff like this. I wish I wasn't such a school girl. So I'm just going to act myself and be cool. (yea right) It's bad enough that his 5 year old neice already told me that she wants me to marry her uncle. It's kind of sweet, in a way. Whatever.

"Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier. ooooo child things are gonna get brighter." -2Pac

He is Risen

Easter weekend was awesome. I got to go home and see my family for a few days. I got to spend individual time with each of my three brothers which was amazing. I really love them more and more when I see them. I love that we finally get to actually have conversations when I see them instead of stupid small talk. We act like grown ups and it's neat. So my dad ended up Bar-B-Queing some ribs for our Easter dinner on Saturday. They were delicious...Thanks Dad.

The drive down home as awful though. Church was a little longer than I was thinking it was going to be. I didn't get on the road until about 8:30 that evening. It took me an hour and 45 minutes to get to down town Austin, it usually takes like 30 minutes. Well I saw what was making it take so long....7 car pile up!! There were probably more because the first car that was smashed didn't have a car in front of it to show what it smashed in to. There weren't any ambulances and people were just walking around, so I doubt it was serious...just a big delay. And while everyone was sitting in the ridiculous traffic...I got rear ended by the person behind me. Nothing that did any damage...but it was a big enough hit for me to jerk forward and for peanuts cage to hit the dashboard. Whatever...I didn't do anything because it was dark and I wasn't about to get out of my truck and walk around while traffic was going. I just let it go because I wanted to get home.

So then. I got back on Saturday evening. I was supposed to be at church early Sunday morning...7:00 to help my Senior High youth with their Easter breakfast. Well apparently I was very tired...I roled over and saw that it was 7:33. I was pissed. I set my alarm for 5:50 p.m. instead of a.m. Well I was so embarassed I could barely move. So I brushed my teeth put my hair in a pony tail and left. I didn't get to take a shower or wear the dress that I wanted to because I was in such a hurry. But everything was taken care of. I'm usually the first person anywhere, always 5 minutes early and here I was walking in an hour late. So then, I just felt crappy all day. But it was fine.

After Easter service I went to my main youth sponsers house for some ham. It was nice to be around people I know.

Then for dinner I went to my sponsers house. They live out in the country and have tons of acres with about what seems like 50 long horns. I got to feed them, it was awesome. I took some pictures of them because they really were beautiful animals. I was totally scared of them though because they are huge. Then we had some more ribs. They were delicious as well. Then we watched a little college basketball. It was intense. Kentucky vs. Michigan. Double overtime. But again, it was just wonderful to be with people that act like your family. Nice to be welcomed somewhere.

"It's all about the love. It's everything that I've been dreaming of." -Sister Hazel

World Inside my Head

I get to go home tonight!! I am so excited to go home and just....be there.
I got a phone call from my cousin yesterday. Just to catch up. He's a state trooper and sometimes he has to go to training classes in Austin and when he does we hang out. We're much closer now, than when we were growing up. It's nice to have family to hang out with every now and then. Anyways...he lives in, around, Houstin. He was telling me how he has been "hanging out" with this girl. He likes her, so it's kind of like they're dating. She's 20...he's 28. I thought I was going to go off on him about that. He didn't understand what the big deal was. This is what I found out about myself:

I think I just get upset/angry/jealous when someone younger than me can find someone older than me that treats them nicely. It makes me so mad that I can't. Plus she's still in college and living with her mom, she's can't even buy beer. Then there is my cousin who went to college for a while, then served in the Marines for 4 years and hase been all over the place and is now starting to kind of "settle". He's has his fun time in life and he's growing up and now there this 20 year old girl that he's hanging out with. I guess it's just something that I have to get over and not dwell on. It still just bothers me. But then my best friend who is also 22 is engaged to marry a man that is 31. But she's mature and out of college and has a job. To me it's different. Someone let me know if I'm being stupid and rude for having these thoughts.

"So tell me what it is about me. Where did everybody go without me? So, I like to fantasize And watch the sunrise like it's a big surprise. Life moves and I stopped to taste it, I drank it up till it left me wasted. But my rains have bled A softer red. Oh you should see the world inside my head." -Sister Hazel

It's Going to be a Sun Shiny Day

Yesterday was one of the craziest days I've had in a very long time. I got 6 different phone calls. No one EVER calls me and when they do...it's usually one at a time. This is how my afternoon/evening went.

MOM: my mother called first just to get me updated on the rosary/funeral dates and times. Turns out I can't make any of them because I need to be up here for Easter stuff. Which is fine, I guess.
CARRIE: I call one of my best friends from High school to ask her about the funeral and what not, but she doesn't answer, so I leave her a message. Then I call her twin sister...
CHRISTINE: Fills me in with more detail about the situation and we chat for a while about Easter plans and what not. It was a nice simple conversation. Then my oldest brother beeps in...
CORY: Also wants to fill me in on the details about the funeral notice and stuff. We end up talking for a while as well about what we are going to do for Easter this year. Plus we was at work and bored, so I tried to entertain him for a while...He had to get back to work, so I decided to call my friend Melissa (she's getting married in Key West this summer and I haven't talked to her in about 5 months. She doesn't answer so I leave her a message.)
MELISSA: Calls when she gets out of the shower. She lives in Oklahoma right now during tornado season and said that there were 7 tornados this weekend. She was scared out of her mind...and for good reasons. Anyways... we talked for a while, it was nice to catch up with her because she's one of the persons I know that I can actually connect with...good stuff.
CARRIE: calls me back after dinner with her fiance...they're looking to buy a house...She also purchased her wedding dress yesterday and had to talk about that. Hopefully I'll get to see her during the Easter Holiday. During that conversation Emily beeps in....but I miss it.
EMILY: wants to throw a bachelorette party for a friend Courtney. We're both in her wedding this summer and she was just getting some plans straitened out.

I have never had that many phone conversations in one day in a long time. It was nice to know that there are people out there that actually care about me!! Anyways...it was a good day.

"I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright, bright, Sun-Shiny day. It's gonna be a bright, bright, Sun-Shiny day. Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone. All of the bad feelings have disappeared. Here is the rainbow I've been prayin', forIt's gonna be a bright, bright, Sun-Shiny day. Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies. Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies" -Bob Marley

Things Look Better Than they Seem

Well my goal for the week of trying to put a positive spin on things is much tougher than I expected. It's very easy to put on a happy face and be this amazingly happy person when there are people around to see it. But when I am home alone (every day) it's really hard to stay positive. It's very difficult to be happy when you live in a city where you know no one and have really no way of meeting people. It's very depressing at times. Last night I just sulked on my couch for about 5 hours. It was awful, but I just don't know what else to do with my time. I shouldn't complain, it's not like I'm doing anything to fix this depression, but sometimes I just wish something would happen.
My friends say they understand how I feel, but I thin it's just bunch of bullshit. These friends of mine have NEVER been alone. They're the kind that can't go a week without having a boyfriend, they've never lived by themselves, and always are around people. Actually, they're all about to get married so that makes it even more ridiculous. Although I love where I am in my life, I just would like someone to share it with. Not necessarily someone that will soon become a husband...just any kind of person will do.

"Living risky, never scared, wander Closer to the edge. Nothing valued think no fear, Always wondering why you're here, All your purposes are gone, nothing's Right and nothing's wrong. Nothing ventured, nothing gained Feel no sorrow, feel no pain. Kiss me while I'm still alive, Kill me while I kiss the sky. Let me die on my own terms, Let me live and let me learn." -Life on My Own Three Doors Down

We're not invincible

I just recieved a disturbing phone call from my oldest brother. A guy that I graduated High School from just past away from pneumonia. How scary is that? To me, that is something that elderly people pass away from. Not a young person. I was very shocked also at the fact that the past two times I went to my doctor he has warned me about having the onset of pneumonia and to watch out. It's scary to think that we won't live forever. We may not even live to be middle age. It's not until something terrible happens that we realize that we need to evaluate what we're doing with our lives. But God does have a plan for each and everyone of us and we need to accept his will for our lives.

I hate to change the subject so drastically, but before that I got a phone call from the "boy" and it was such a distraction. It was a nice converstaion, he was just so "real". Nothing that I should be nervous about. Whatever. After that phone call I was on cloud nine that I couldn't finish a letter that I needed to write.

It's amazing how our lives can go from one extreme to another in the matter of an hour.

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring your prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11

Just Breathe...

"Lonely Rivers flow to the sea..." What a great song.

So I had a big scare last Thursday. I wasn't feeling real well so I went to my awesome doctor as I had written before. Anyways...later that day I was feeling a little sleepy so I left work early. I walked up the three flights of stairs to my apartment and I was just out of breath and my heart was beating soooo fast. So I laid down, and for THREE and a HALF hours I could not get my heart to slow down. I thought I was going to explode. So I called the pharmacy to see what was going on. She just said...yea, it's must be a reaction between the shot you got and the prescriptions you're taking. Well DUH it's a reaction. I figured that one out all on my own. But she told me not to worry and that it should settle down in a little while. It did finally, but I was definitely scared. But I'm alive.

My goal for this week is that I am trying hard to put a positive spin on life. Not that things are bad, but I think things could be better. Things can always be better. But I hate that lonely feeling of not having anyone near by. So I am working on being a happier person. I get these spurts of positive energy every now and then, but I'm sure in a few days I'm going to get tired of being little Miss Smiles. But sometimes I just need to know that I can be happy even if I am faking it. (Please don't think I'm pathetic)

I do get to go home for a while this week. I'll leave Georgetown Thursday evening and drive the couple hours home to spend some quality time with the family. But I have to be back up here Saturday evening because Sunday is a big day obviously, for the church. So I don't get the actual Easter Sunday with the family, but at least I'll get more than a day with them.
I called my oldest brother this weekend as well to see what his work schedule was for Easter. See if we would cross paths when I come home. Well, we have a slightly different schedule but I should get to hang out with him at sometime. It had been a while since I had talked to him...like, actually had a conversation with him. We ended up talking for like an hour and a half. It was nice. I think I just need more people to actually have conversations with. I definitely have a new respect for my brothers. We're finally getting to that age where we can actually talk without throwing a punch or a "your stupid" in our words. It's awesome.

I am in the process of working on a youth event for some high school students for the first Sunday in April. Well one of the activities is a concert by this guy that I am totally crushed on. I am such a retard when it comes to boys. Well, I had to call him last night because I wanted to get an update on how things are coming along for the concert. Well, I could barely talk my heart was beating so fast. He didn't answer, which was no surprise, so I think I left this long message of me repeating myself and sounding like a fool. But I'll have you know, that was a huge step for me. I was very proud of myself. But now I have to call him AGAIN because I didn't get a hold of him. Hopefully that phone call will go a little better. I'm getting braver by the day.

"I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m beggin’ you to beg me." -Cheap Trick

Nice Veins

I just got my first compliment on how nice my veins are from my physician. I wasn't feeling well and so I took a visit to my doctor. He's a great man in a sarcastic way...which is nice. He's not always so serious when I come in. Turns out I have pharyngitis (infected pharynx a.k.a. soar throat). Well since I am obviously just prone to sickness the doctor opted to give me a shot right into the vein in my elbow. (This way I won't get pneumonia). He couldn't stop talking about how people would kill to have veins like mine. It was a little odd, but it's always nice to get a compliment, right. Even if it's for blood tubes. I just thought it was rather amuzing. So with my shot, my two different pills, my high powered cough syrup and my inhaler that was all prescribed to me today I think I'm going to survive this soar throat....YES! And now that Eckerd's turned into CVS pharmacy, my prescriptions went up a dollar. That sucks. Oh well.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!! Shamrock & Roll.

"I'm ready to go, Gonna see my name underneath the stars when I walk the Boulevard. This outfit set me back two paychecks and a Cadillac. The horroscope today said things would go my way." -Sunset Strip Bith Eve6

What does it all Mean

As I was thinking about how many weddings I will be participating in this summer, I began to think about my future wedding (that is if I ever find someone that I could spend the rest of my life with...right now I'm no where near being ready to be married). I was thinking about colors and dresses and bridesmaids. Then I was thinking all three of my Best Friends are engaged to be married this summer. My three best friends consist of a girl that I grew up with since 2nd grade, a girl that I went to high school with, and then a girl that was my best friend through out college. They all have someone to be their Maid of Honor. That kind of made me feel a little shitty. I'll never be someone's Maid of Honor at their wedding. Does that mean that I just don't mean as much to them as they mean to me? I would hope not, but that's what I was feeling. Granted, two of them have sisters that they chose, but the thought is still there. One of them is definitely on my top list of being my maid of honor, but now it worries me what they will think if I ask them and they didn't ask me, you know. I know I shouldn't worry about any of this, but as a girl, it was on my mind.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

Take Away

I got some exciting news yesterday from this girl in my youth group. She got to go to New York City for her birthday/Spring break. As her and her mom were in the crowd during the Good Morning America TV Show, they were chosen to come back as guest the following day. They were running a clip on finding the perfect pair of jeans and they were interviewd by the whole cast on national television. So, I stayed home this morning and watched them on tv. It was just so awesome to see that. I was so excited for both of them. What a great experience.

Also. Since I have been at my job for a year now, I got a three percent raise!! yea!! Well I got my paycheck today. I have $260.00 taken out of each one of my paychecks for whatever reason money is taken out for. Because they take out so much of my money, I only see about 40% of my raise. That is RIDICULOUS.

"I don't care what my teachers say, I'm gonna be a supermodel. And Everyone is gonna dress like me, wait and see. When I'm a supermodel my hair will shine like the sea. Everyone will wanna look just like me...Cause I'm young and I'm hip, and so beautiful, I'm gonna be a supermodel." -Supermodel Jill Sobule

Life's Like This...

I love camp. There is just something about going to camp and being around people you trust and just be yourself. I grew up going to summer camp, then I worked at the same summer camp, and now as a youth director I take my youth to the same summer camp. So it is a huge part of my life. This weekend there was a weekend brainstorming session at camp to get ideas about how to get the 20 and 30 year olds back to church. It was really successful, but I think I was there more for selfish reasons. Because I have such a huge background with this camp, I just wanted to be there, and I knew I would see old friends. And I did. It was so nice to just be with great people.
Then Sunday was nice. I had no duties after church because everyone is on Spring Break. Therefore, I went out to lunch with my sponsors from the church. It was just like being with family. I love them so much. They are a great couple, a little older than my parents, plus I know their son from working at camp with him. Camp just gives you so many wonderful connections.


"Throw away the radio suitcase that keeps you awake-hide the telephone in case, you realize that sometimes you're not okay-you level off but its not all right now you need to understand there's nothing strange about this-you need to know your friends-I'll be waving my hand watching you drown watching you scream-quiet or loud" Clumsy-Our Lady Peace

Won't You be my Neighbor?

I must say that I have one of the most wonderful neighbors anyone could have ever asked for. Especially for being a girl and living by myself in a new town. Yesterday evening as I was hanging out ther was a knock on my door and it was my neighbor. He said..."Let's drink a beer and watch the sunset." Now, this is NOT a romantic situation, he's thirty years older than me and knows that I still don't know many people up here. So, we sat at his patio table and watched the sun go down as we talked about life. He's working things out with his ex-wife, I'm trying to not be so chicken around guys...we just support each other in our decisions. It's a nice relationship that we have. We sit around every few weeks. He's good about staying in contact. It's super awesome to know that someone cares.

I'm also getting my carpet's cleaned today. I drink in my living room ALL THE TIME. But the only time I spill is when I'm drinking Cherry Kool-Aid. I sure hope the cleaning man can get those ridiculous stains out.

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won't you be my neighbor?" -Mr. Roger's

Turning Saints into the Sea

Weddings, weddings everywhere.
Weddings, weddings, I don't care.

I've reached the time in my life where EVERYONE around me is getting married.
I keep getting phone calls and emails about buying a dress, getting shoes, dates for showers, do I want to get make-up done...I sure hope I still have some hair left to get fixed for these weddings. I'm not even close to getting married and I think I am about just as stressed as every bride I've talked to. I guess that is just how life goes.

On a different note, I extended my apartment lease for another year. Rent went up about $30 so I think I can handle that, plus I get a raise on my next paycheck. That's pretty awesome.

I also downloaded a new ringer for my cell phone. This one's for you Lauren, everytime you call me fron now on, this is what I'll hear: "Touch me, tease me, kiss me, please me. I give it to ya just how you like it, girl. You know I'm rockin with the best fo' pound on my hip Gold chain on my chest." It just puts a smile on my face.

"Lil' mama show me how you move it, Better Yet put ya back into it, Do ya thang like there ain't nothin to it, Shake..shake.. shake that ass girl." -50 Cent

You're My Wonderwall

This was by far a wonderful weekend. Friday I woke up and went to Austin, I met up with my friend Christine from high school and went to watch a basketball game. The girls high school team that we graduated from was in the state basketball play-offs. That was fun to go to. Got to see some old friends...see who's married, see who's had a baby, just see people. Then after that I drove down to San Antonio. My good friend Courtney is getting married this summer and I'm in her wedding. I've only seen her, like, twice since we graduated from college together over a year ago. I stayed with her and her fiance and her dog and cat. Well, we're both working women now and are pretty much loser's when it comes to going out on a Friday night. We ended up going to Hooligans and watching the Spurs game and were back home by about 10:45. Not much of a night life. It was really nice to see her again...we hadn't talked for a while after graduation so it's nice to get the friendship started back up again.

Then Saturday morning I went home to the great Peanut Capital of Texas...Floresville. My cousins little boy was haveing a 4th birthday party, so I went with my parents to the party. It was cute...he had a Spider Man theme. Then I drove all the way back to G-town in the worst weather EVER. It was raining and gross, but I got back in one piece. Yea...

Then this Sunday I had a huge presentation to make to the congregation. I am throwing out the old confirmation program and starting a new one. So I had to get in front of everyone and talk about what I am doing and what this new program is all about. I was pretty proud of myseld. It's my first big change that I've made since I've been here. It was kind of a rush. Everyone was for it, so that nice. I'll have lots of support. All-In-All it was a great weekend.

"And all the roads we have to walk along are winding. And all the lights that lead us there are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to youI don't know how, Because maybe, You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all You're my wonderwall " -OASIS

Good Day

Sometimes you just know when you are going to have a good day. This morning as I was driving to work my phone rang at about 8:15 a.m. I get a little irritated when people call me before 9:00, so I'm sure I sounded a little rude when I answered the phone. Well, it was one of my dedicated high school youth parents (she calls me a lot, so it really wasn't unsually that she called). She called to tell me that she just passed my going the opposite way to take her daughter to school and knew that I would be getting to work early/on-time. And wanted to let me know that she really appreciates the fact that I am always on time and punctual and that that is a good character to have. That was it... she said have a wonderful day and I'll talk to you later. How neat is that, to just get a phone call to have someone compliment you out of the blue. I almost cried, but I just had to smile about that. It's just nice to hear that I am appreciated and that people respect what I do. I don't have family close by and that's hard at times, but people here just amaze me. What a wonderful way to start off the day.

Plus tomorrow I get to see my dad because my High School is playing in the girls basketball state play-offs in Austin and I'm going to meet him to go watch them. Yea!!

"Today I didn't even have to use my A.K. I got to say it was a good day" -Ice Cube

Wave on Wave

Yesterday was such a great day. Besides have beautiful weather, everything was just... good. I went with a lady from the church to pick up a very bitter elderly woman and bring her to church to get her picture taken for the directory. Now this woman is that crazy lady that everyone is scared of: She lives in a dilapadated house, there are stray cats everywhere, a dead bird on her entry way to her house, junk all over her yard and pathways threw her house because she has so much junk. Well, we get her into the car and these were the few conversations that she started: Dishes are piling up in her kitchen and she doesn't know what to do with all the rats that are crawling in them, she has a pimple on her eye and a yeast infection, she has no family because they don't want anything to do with her, and she wants the kids of the church to fix her roof, paint her porch and rake her leaves. You can't help but just smile and listen to her, she really is a neat lady. Just a little lonely. I am super glad that I got to spend time with her, and also just as glad that I didn't have to do it by myself. It really was a learning/growing/eye-opening experience. On the way to take her back home we stopped and bought her a chicken sandwich and strawberry malt from Jack-n-the-box and that just made her day. It was wonderful.

My second great part of the day was actually getting to go out. I only know a few people, so I'm stuck at home by myself for most of the time. It turns out that I have some friends from Wisconsin who are friends with this band called "#1 Fan" who are also from Wisconsin and just so happened to be playing in Austin last night. Well because I know these people I got put on "the list" to get into the show. Which by the way was EXCELLENT, I love listening to new music, and nothing beats seeing it live. Anyways, I have one friend in the area and she also happens to be friends with the same people from Wisconsin. Perfect. I thought we could go together, but it didn't work out. I didn't want to go by myself, so I called one of my best friends roommates. Who I happened to go to Catholic School with from 2nd-4th grade. Well, she came with me and it was awesome. It was great to hang out with this old friend and catch up on so much. We talked about old friends we had, new friends we have, and all kinds of stuff. It is just awesome to be "re-friends" with someone. Plus, now I have someone else to hang out with. Yea!!

So, All-in-All it was just a great day. I hope everyone else is having a super day!

"We were Gonna be different, Now where did those Dreamers go" -Sister Hazel

You Can't Change Me

I really do not like were my life is going right now. I think I'm turning into a recluse. All I do is come home and sit on the couch and play with my rat and then I eat and watch tv and then I go to sleep and do it all over again the next day. I think my body needs some excercise or something. I'm not worried about getting "fat" or anything but I am worried of really getting out of shape. Not that I was ever in shape to begin with, but I was at least a little fit. I guess I'll worry about that when the time comes.

I just got some news about of my friends that in shot 5 times in Iraq. He's back at home for a while and goes in for another surgery in a few days. I am just so excited that everything is turning out well for him and that he is making an awesome recovery. I like to see God fix people. It's amazing what he can do. If I can, I may try and make a trip down there to see him this weekend. But that's a long drive, so I'll keep thinking about it. I won't have another free weekend for a while, so I may need to take advantage of that....

"Had a bad day, don't talk to me, gonna ride this out. My little black heart, breaks apart,with your big mouth. And I'm sick of my sickness. Don't touch me, you'll get this. I'm useless, lazy, perverted, and you hate me. You can't save me, You can't change me. Well I'm waiting for my wake-up call. And Everything, everything's my fault. You can't save me,You can't blame me,Well I'm waiting here to take a fall,and everything, and everything's my fault."