World Inside my Head

I get to go home tonight!! I am so excited to go home and just....be there.
I got a phone call from my cousin yesterday. Just to catch up. He's a state trooper and sometimes he has to go to training classes in Austin and when he does we hang out. We're much closer now, than when we were growing up. It's nice to have family to hang out with every now and then. Anyways...he lives in, around, Houstin. He was telling me how he has been "hanging out" with this girl. He likes her, so it's kind of like they're dating. She's 20...he's 28. I thought I was going to go off on him about that. He didn't understand what the big deal was. This is what I found out about myself:

I think I just get upset/angry/jealous when someone younger than me can find someone older than me that treats them nicely. It makes me so mad that I can't. Plus she's still in college and living with her mom, she's can't even buy beer. Then there is my cousin who went to college for a while, then served in the Marines for 4 years and hase been all over the place and is now starting to kind of "settle". He's has his fun time in life and he's growing up and now there this 20 year old girl that he's hanging out with. I guess it's just something that I have to get over and not dwell on. It still just bothers me. But then my best friend who is also 22 is engaged to marry a man that is 31. But she's mature and out of college and has a job. To me it's different. Someone let me know if I'm being stupid and rude for having these thoughts.

"So tell me what it is about me. Where did everybody go without me? So, I like to fantasize And watch the sunrise like it's a big surprise. Life moves and I stopped to taste it, I drank it up till it left me wasted. But my rains have bled A softer red. Oh you should see the world inside my head." -Sister Hazel