Popping packing bubble!!
I got a UPS package today with some free promotional stuff. Not only did I get some free stuff to give to my kids, but there was packing bubbles.
I made it last at least an hour and a half and it was only like an 18x18 inch square. But each little *pop* just made me smile.
It's funny how simple things like that just take you back to childhood and make you happy.
My thumb and fingers are a little sore, but it was totally worth it. Plus, I'm listening to David Crowder..."you are more beautiful than anyone, EVER".
Our Advent soup supper starts in a little bit too!!! Free dinner!! And then we'll do the Holden Evening prayer.
This day just keeps getting better. From the way it started I would have thought it was be not so good...but dang, the Lord knows when you need smiles.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Just Be Brave
So I was very brave today. I called that guy that I saw this weekend, just thought it would be nice to say hello. I my goodness, it took me like 3 times to actually press talk on my phone. I always just get so nervous about stuff like that. Well it just made me feel good that I actually made myself do that. It was nothing special, just a little conversation. Turns out that he does have a girlfriend. That sips. Oh well, it would have been just my luck anyways. At least now I know and I'm not sitting here wondering if he had one or what it meant when he told me that he had a crush on me. I won't have to dwell on that anymore. But I was proud of myself for doing that. I get a pat on the back.
Now to find a single guy, in Texas to keep me company.
Now to find a single guy, in Texas to keep me company.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
All Smiles
Like I've said before: Thanksgiving is one of my most favorite holiday's. Lots of food and family and we don't have to worry about giving presents. I don't really get presents anymore, so I'm worried about all the giving and leaving someone out. Anyways...
I took my younger brother to his first bar last night. (I'm such a good big sis'). It was fun. We met up with my older cousin Bryan who's about 28 and all three of us just hung out it was nice. Daniel got a little excited and had much more than the both of us together. But he held himself nicely. Got to see alot of people that I don't get to see through out the year, so that was AWESOME. Ran into some great Falls City people. A couple of guys, it's always nice to see them.
My favorite part was running into this one guy...seriously, he walked by and my legs started to get week. My cousin and brother just laughed at me. He's this amazing guy, not only is he hot, in the marines, fought for our country and got shot 5 times...he was the first guy I ever kissed. So for me, to see this guy is a huge deal. I've had a huge crush on him all throughout high school, and probably a little longer than that too. Always a special place in your heart for that one guy. Ther'es just something about it, I think I really like him because he's just so tall. I am very attracted to tall guys and he's like 6'4". I saw him last year when I visited him in the hospital after all his surgeries, but it was just awkward because both of our parents were there. Anyway, we got to talking about our visit last year and what not. And as I was leaving he just looks at me and says...Gosh, I had the biggest crush on you. Oh my goodness, I could have fainted. I was like, shut up, I had the hugest crush on you. But that was about it...lots of hugging and poking after that. I think he has a girlfriend, but I didn't ask. I didn't want to ruin it. But doesn't that suck. After all these years of having this crush on him and not knowing he just comes out and is like, "I had/have a crush on you". Aaaauuuu, I couldn't sleep at all last night. But it guess it is nice to know that someone out there at sometime had 'feelings' for you. Whatev.
Then this other guy from his class was there and wouldn't keep his hands off me. It's flattering, but at the same time I kept thinking...get away, this hot boy is talking to me. He's a nice guy too, a little cocky, but one of those cocky guys that has nothing to offer but cockiness. Oh well. I can't wait to have girl time and share all my fun new findings....
I took my younger brother to his first bar last night. (I'm such a good big sis'). It was fun. We met up with my older cousin Bryan who's about 28 and all three of us just hung out it was nice. Daniel got a little excited and had much more than the both of us together. But he held himself nicely. Got to see alot of people that I don't get to see through out the year, so that was AWESOME. Ran into some great Falls City people. A couple of guys, it's always nice to see them.
My favorite part was running into this one guy...seriously, he walked by and my legs started to get week. My cousin and brother just laughed at me. He's this amazing guy, not only is he hot, in the marines, fought for our country and got shot 5 times...he was the first guy I ever kissed. So for me, to see this guy is a huge deal. I've had a huge crush on him all throughout high school, and probably a little longer than that too. Always a special place in your heart for that one guy. Ther'es just something about it, I think I really like him because he's just so tall. I am very attracted to tall guys and he's like 6'4". I saw him last year when I visited him in the hospital after all his surgeries, but it was just awkward because both of our parents were there. Anyway, we got to talking about our visit last year and what not. And as I was leaving he just looks at me and says...Gosh, I had the biggest crush on you. Oh my goodness, I could have fainted. I was like, shut up, I had the hugest crush on you. But that was about it...lots of hugging and poking after that. I think he has a girlfriend, but I didn't ask. I didn't want to ruin it. But doesn't that suck. After all these years of having this crush on him and not knowing he just comes out and is like, "I had/have a crush on you". Aaaauuuu, I couldn't sleep at all last night. But it guess it is nice to know that someone out there at sometime had 'feelings' for you. Whatev.
Then this other guy from his class was there and wouldn't keep his hands off me. It's flattering, but at the same time I kept thinking...get away, this hot boy is talking to me. He's a nice guy too, a little cocky, but one of those cocky guys that has nothing to offer but cockiness. Oh well. I can't wait to have girl time and share all my fun new findings....
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Only in Texas
Only in Texas is it the day before Thanksgiving and it's 85 degrees outside. RIDICULOUS. It's the time of year where it gets down to the low 50's at night and the mornings are freezing, but come 10:00 in the morning, it's brutally hot. I wonder why Texas weather is like that. Make up your mind, either be cold or hot so that I don't have to wear tons of layers in the morning, just to shed them come lunch time. COME ON. We're not like most states where we have a summer a fall then a winter, we get a summer then BAM! it's winter without any warning. Whatev.
I'm in a little pissy mood today because I was really excited to go home today. My truck was all packed up at 11:00 and my cousin that I'm picking up in Austin called and says....Um, there's been a schedule change and I can't be ready to leave until 3:00. Oh man did I almost have a heart attack. I survived, but seriously, I was upset. Now we're really going to be sitting in some crazy traffic and instead of getting home at around 2:00 or 3:00, we're not going to get there until like 6:00 or so. Ug...I guess that's how life goes.
But I am super excited to see all the family. Thanksgiving is always at our house, so I won't have to get up and go anywhere in the morning, which is nice. Although I'm sure there won't be any sleeping in time. We're going to have a full house. We don't have the facilities to accomodate that many people for sleeping purposes. Once we all started moving out the house there were less and less beds around. Now we have a couch, some cots and an air matress. It's silly. You would think coming home would be nice, now it's a struggle to get into the bathroom and find a place to sleep. The parents tore up the carpet to put in hardwood floors, which is really nice, but now we can't really sleep on the floor anymore. Alright. That's OK.
Well...I'm off to the great small town of Floresville. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to everyone who reads this!!
I'm in a little pissy mood today because I was really excited to go home today. My truck was all packed up at 11:00 and my cousin that I'm picking up in Austin called and says....Um, there's been a schedule change and I can't be ready to leave until 3:00. Oh man did I almost have a heart attack. I survived, but seriously, I was upset. Now we're really going to be sitting in some crazy traffic and instead of getting home at around 2:00 or 3:00, we're not going to get there until like 6:00 or so. Ug...I guess that's how life goes.
But I am super excited to see all the family. Thanksgiving is always at our house, so I won't have to get up and go anywhere in the morning, which is nice. Although I'm sure there won't be any sleeping in time. We're going to have a full house. We don't have the facilities to accomodate that many people for sleeping purposes. Once we all started moving out the house there were less and less beds around. Now we have a couch, some cots and an air matress. It's silly. You would think coming home would be nice, now it's a struggle to get into the bathroom and find a place to sleep. The parents tore up the carpet to put in hardwood floors, which is really nice, but now we can't really sleep on the floor anymore. Alright. That's OK.
Well...I'm off to the great small town of Floresville. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving to everyone who reads this!!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
"You Are - More Beautiful - Than Anyone - Ever"
I had an excellent time in Nashville. I don't think I really started to appreciate all the stuff until the end, but I am so glad that I got that experience. I went in with an unfocused attitude, so that didn't really help the cause and then got some bad news from back home. I'm a very distracted person, but I was just overly distracted this weekend.
I did get to see some great sites though. Nashville.
"You are more beautiful
Than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change, no never
And how could I ever deny
The love of my Savior
You are to me everything
All I need forever
How could You be so good to me?
There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You
Everywhere You are there
Earth or air surrounding
I'm not alone, the heavens sing along
My God You're so astounding
How could You be so good to me
Eternally I believe that'
You, You, You, You, You, You
How could You be so good to me?
How could You be so good to me?
We're not alone, so sing along
We're not alone, so sing along, sing along, sing along
There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There his no one like our God, yeah"
-David Crowder
I did get to see some great sites though. Nashville.
"You are more beautiful
Than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change, no never
And how could I ever deny
The love of my Savior
You are to me everything
All I need forever
How could You be so good to me?
There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You
Everywhere You are there
Earth or air surrounding
I'm not alone, the heavens sing along
My God You're so astounding
How could You be so good to me
Eternally I believe that'
You, You, You, You, You, You
How could You be so good to me?
How could You be so good to me?
We're not alone, so sing along
We're not alone, so sing along, sing along, sing along
There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There is no one like You
There has never been anyone like You
There his no one like our God, yeah"
-David Crowder
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
'Til Tuesday
"To all my friends from around the way." -Midtown
"I can't say good bye forever,
But I'll say good bye for now." -Mest
But don't worry
"The good times gonna come." -Aqualung
I know you're thinking:
"Please don't leave me now...when you're so far you'll forget about me." -Early November
But I'm thinking:
"You should know that I would never let you go." -Midtown
"And all I gotta say...is you're Extra Ordinary, baby." -Better Than Ezra
"I'm gonna smile and not get worried" -Jimmy Eat World
"As I go, remember all the simple things you know, My mind is just a crutch and I hope, that you will me when I'm gone - This is the last song." -All American Rejects
Off to Nashville for a great weekend of rejuvenation (I hope).
I'll miss you all dearly, but no worries, I will return to you all!!
"I can't say good bye forever,
But I'll say good bye for now." -Mest
But don't worry
"The good times gonna come." -Aqualung
I know you're thinking:
"Please don't leave me now...when you're so far you'll forget about me." -Early November
But I'm thinking:
"You should know that I would never let you go." -Midtown
"And all I gotta say...is you're Extra Ordinary, baby." -Better Than Ezra
"I'm gonna smile and not get worried" -Jimmy Eat World
"As I go, remember all the simple things you know, My mind is just a crutch and I hope, that you will me when I'm gone - This is the last song." -All American Rejects
Off to Nashville for a great weekend of rejuvenation (I hope).
I'll miss you all dearly, but no worries, I will return to you all!!
Monday, November 14, 2005
For All of This
Again I get all these great thoughts as I lay in bed, trying to make sleep come. This weekend was just full of great conversations. Conversations with different kinds of people: Mom, Dube, Janet, My high school youth group.
Some of my Kiddo's are having struggles with their parents. Which ALL teenagers go through. It's just part of adolescence. I asked them if they ever tell their parents how much they appreciate everything they do for them...or that they love them. That also got me thinking. I don't even do that. My family has never been the kind to just finish a phone call with an "I love you" or when we leave after a holiday or just any time at all. We throw in an "I love you" when times are bad, but that's about it.
It also got me think about that whole phrase and how often I've used. For me, it's easier to use with girls. I can tell Becca or Lauren or Courtney that I love them, but I can't do that with my parents? I also don't think I've ever said that to a guy before. Well, I take that back, I've said it to my dearest friends, because I do love them, I'm just not "in-love" with them. You know what I mean? It's just always been easier for me to say it to girls that to boys. Weird.
Lot's more on my mind...but my arms are feeling ridiculously weak and it hurts to type...
"for all of this
i'm better off without you
do you regret so
your loneliness"
-The Early November
Some of my Kiddo's are having struggles with their parents. Which ALL teenagers go through. It's just part of adolescence. I asked them if they ever tell their parents how much they appreciate everything they do for them...or that they love them. That also got me thinking. I don't even do that. My family has never been the kind to just finish a phone call with an "I love you" or when we leave after a holiday or just any time at all. We throw in an "I love you" when times are bad, but that's about it.
It also got me think about that whole phrase and how often I've used. For me, it's easier to use with girls. I can tell Becca or Lauren or Courtney that I love them, but I can't do that with my parents? I also don't think I've ever said that to a guy before. Well, I take that back, I've said it to my dearest friends, because I do love them, I'm just not "in-love" with them. You know what I mean? It's just always been easier for me to say it to girls that to boys. Weird.
Lot's more on my mind...but my arms are feeling ridiculously weak and it hurts to type...
"for all of this
i'm better off without you
do you regret so
your loneliness"
-The Early November
Thursday, November 10, 2005
All Downhill from here...
You would think I was an 80 year old arthritic woman if you saw me right now.
I've always had back pains, ever since I was in high school I think it's just with my small frame and the way I sleep, it just aches a lot. And then I inhereted stress from my Dad, so it hurts whenever I worry too. Well, it got really bad my freshman year of college to where my mom took me to get an MRI to make sure everything was OK. Well it was...I just have a bad back.
Well, this weekend when I was sitting with my kids, I had the darndest time standing up. You would have thought I was pregnant the way I was grabbing my back everytime I stood up. And last night as I was brushing my teeth and washing my face, I just wanted to cry when I bent over the sink. Something is wrong. I don't know if I pinched something or what. It's usually just my muscles that hurt (I've been told I'm really 'tense' by a few people), but this pain is in my lower back and it hurts to to bend or sit or stand up. Weird huh. But I am stubborn so I'm just going to wait for the pain to go away. If I twist my body in just the right way I can get comfortable when I sleep. Although last night I had pillows stuffed everywhere trying to make it not hurt...but oh my gosh. I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain...tattoos where nothing, brother's punches are nothing, but this. Oh my gosh...I had tears in my eyes as I was trying to lay down. How ridiculous is that. It's not like I do ANYTHING strenuous to make it hurt.
Maybe I'm getting osteoporosis because I NEVER drink milk. Oh well...
"Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it’s all downhill from here
And it’s all downhill from here"
-New Found Glory
I've always had back pains, ever since I was in high school I think it's just with my small frame and the way I sleep, it just aches a lot. And then I inhereted stress from my Dad, so it hurts whenever I worry too. Well, it got really bad my freshman year of college to where my mom took me to get an MRI to make sure everything was OK. Well it was...I just have a bad back.
Well, this weekend when I was sitting with my kids, I had the darndest time standing up. You would have thought I was pregnant the way I was grabbing my back everytime I stood up. And last night as I was brushing my teeth and washing my face, I just wanted to cry when I bent over the sink. Something is wrong. I don't know if I pinched something or what. It's usually just my muscles that hurt (I've been told I'm really 'tense' by a few people), but this pain is in my lower back and it hurts to to bend or sit or stand up. Weird huh. But I am stubborn so I'm just going to wait for the pain to go away. If I twist my body in just the right way I can get comfortable when I sleep. Although last night I had pillows stuffed everywhere trying to make it not hurt...but oh my gosh. I like to think I have a high tolerance for pain...tattoos where nothing, brother's punches are nothing, but this. Oh my gosh...I had tears in my eyes as I was trying to lay down. How ridiculous is that. It's not like I do ANYTHING strenuous to make it hurt.
Maybe I'm getting osteoporosis because I NEVER drink milk. Oh well...
"Catalyst, you insist to pull me down
You contradict the fact that you still want me around
And it’s all downhill from here
And it’s all downhill from here"
-New Found Glory
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Just some stuff...
10 Years Ago: I was 13, living in Floresville, and in 7th Grade at Poth.
5 Years Ago: My Senior Year of High School...I was so ready to get out of there. I had a huge crush on Philip...
1 Year Ago: Where I am today...working
Yesterday I:worked...then went to Kyles to watch "Love Actually". Then went to KFC for some food.
5 Snacks I Like:
1. Peanut Butter M&M's
2. Honey Wheat Pretzel sticks
3. Mint Milano's
4. Coke from Sonic
5. fudgecycles
5 (of my favorite) Songs I Know By Heart:
1. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
2. You Lost that Lovin' Feeling - The Righteous Brother's
3. I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow
4. Changes - Good Charlotte
5. Reason - Mest
Five Things I Would Do With $1 Million:
1. Build a house...not a huge one...one that was modest, but nice
2. Buy a Hummer
3. Get my Dad a '56 Ford Pick-up and my Mom a Kia Sportage (that's what they both want) and I'd most likely get all my brother's a new vehicle as well
4. Give to the Church
5. Shop...and Save
5 Bad Habits:
1. worry
2. trying too hard to impress everyone
3. wanting everyone to like me
4. being a picky eater
5. Judging others
5 Biggest Joys:
1. Spending time with my awesome Family
2. Spending time with my awesome Friends
3. Knowing that I've made something of myself
4. Watching Peanut, my rat, clean herself...it's so cute
5. This one is for my future...
5 TV Shows:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. The Simpson's
3. Friends
4. Desperate Housewives
5. House
5 Girls/Boys I Would Date:
1. Chris Carraba
2. Wait...I'm not going to write down people I know...that's my secret.
3.
4.
5.
5 Years Ago: My Senior Year of High School...I was so ready to get out of there. I had a huge crush on Philip...
1 Year Ago: Where I am today...working
Yesterday I:worked...then went to Kyles to watch "Love Actually". Then went to KFC for some food.
5 Snacks I Like:
1. Peanut Butter M&M's
2. Honey Wheat Pretzel sticks
3. Mint Milano's
4. Coke from Sonic
5. fudgecycles
5 (of my favorite) Songs I Know By Heart:
1. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
2. You Lost that Lovin' Feeling - The Righteous Brother's
3. I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow
4. Changes - Good Charlotte
5. Reason - Mest
Five Things I Would Do With $1 Million:
1. Build a house...not a huge one...one that was modest, but nice
2. Buy a Hummer
3. Get my Dad a '56 Ford Pick-up and my Mom a Kia Sportage (that's what they both want) and I'd most likely get all my brother's a new vehicle as well
4. Give to the Church
5. Shop...and Save
5 Bad Habits:
1. worry
2. trying too hard to impress everyone
3. wanting everyone to like me
4. being a picky eater
5. Judging others
5 Biggest Joys:
1. Spending time with my awesome Family
2. Spending time with my awesome Friends
3. Knowing that I've made something of myself
4. Watching Peanut, my rat, clean herself...it's so cute
5. This one is for my future...
5 TV Shows:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. The Simpson's
3. Friends
4. Desperate Housewives
5. House
5 Girls/Boys I Would Date:
1. Chris Carraba
2. Wait...I'm not going to write down people I know...that's my secret.
3.
4.
5.
It's Getting Hot Hot Hot
Who knew it would still be in the upper 80's in November...only in Texas I guess. I don't really like cold weather, but I would love to be able to wear a long sleeved shirt. I've been wearing short sleeves and tank tops for so long that I'm ready to switch over to a different wardrobe. Plus it's always a good hair day with it's cold outside.
Nashville is coming up next Thursday and I'm getting a little antsy. I just want to push everything aside and just focus on leaving. I really like leaving...but I always like coming back. Sure hope Peanut is alright for the 4 nights that I'm gone...I may need to find her a sitter while I'm gone so that she doesn't get too lonely.
I wish I had some better things to say right now, but my focus and attention span is just crap right now. I can't seem to get anything done.
Nashville is coming up next Thursday and I'm getting a little antsy. I just want to push everything aside and just focus on leaving. I really like leaving...but I always like coming back. Sure hope Peanut is alright for the 4 nights that I'm gone...I may need to find her a sitter while I'm gone so that she doesn't get too lonely.
I wish I had some better things to say right now, but my focus and attention span is just crap right now. I can't seem to get anything done.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Stop It, Becky
I am pretty good at finding something to complain about. People know that I'm a complainer, I don't do it to be rude, I just for some reason find it easier to find things that need improvement. Whatever. Back to my complaints. I gripe a lot about not having money. I mean, I have money, but I don't really splurge a lot, I mostly just get the necessities. (Yea, right, I buy all kinds of stuff that I don't need)
Well I had the day off yesterday, and what did I do...I shopped. I also shopped on Friday before I left for this weekend retreat. We have this new shopping center that opened up in Georgetown and so when I get bored, I go there and look around. Best Buy just opened up this weekend. I thought having a Target close by was bad news...Best Buy is going to put a damper on my pay check. And, it did.
I bought 5 CD this weekend. At different times, but I got all of them. And I still have a list of ones that I want. They're all definitely worth the purchase, but again...I didn't really need them, yet I spent the money on them. Oh well. Here are my Great new purchases:
Midtown: Forget What You Know
Sheryl Crow: Wildflower
The Early November: For All of This
Aqualung: Strange and Beautiful
Mest: Photograph
Now that is a wide variety of music selections. But now I have something to listen to for almost all my moods. A couple of them like, Mest and Midtown, I had some of their other CD's and so I wanted to get the newer one's.
I already have a growing list of other CD's that I NEED to get. They're good, but I'm gonna have to wait until my next paycheck. I don't want to get too crazy with my spending. But now I have new stuff to listen to while I sit at my desk. Yea!!
"Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes... "
-Aqualung
Well I had the day off yesterday, and what did I do...I shopped. I also shopped on Friday before I left for this weekend retreat. We have this new shopping center that opened up in Georgetown and so when I get bored, I go there and look around. Best Buy just opened up this weekend. I thought having a Target close by was bad news...Best Buy is going to put a damper on my pay check. And, it did.
I bought 5 CD this weekend. At different times, but I got all of them. And I still have a list of ones that I want. They're all definitely worth the purchase, but again...I didn't really need them, yet I spent the money on them. Oh well. Here are my Great new purchases:
Midtown: Forget What You Know
Sheryl Crow: Wildflower
The Early November: For All of This
Aqualung: Strange and Beautiful
Mest: Photograph
Now that is a wide variety of music selections. But now I have something to listen to for almost all my moods. A couple of them like, Mest and Midtown, I had some of their other CD's and so I wanted to get the newer one's.
I already have a growing list of other CD's that I NEED to get. They're good, but I'm gonna have to wait until my next paycheck. I don't want to get too crazy with my spending. But now I have new stuff to listen to while I sit at my desk. Yea!!
"Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes... "
-Aqualung
Sunday, November 06, 2005
And God saw that it was Good...
Just got back from my weekend retreat with my Middle Schooler's. What a weekend. It was really great. It was nice to get away for a while and just be in Natures. Which was what the retreat was about...Nature and God's Creation. It was nice.
Plus, I got to see some great people that I don't get to see that often. I guess now, they are all my colleagues. Which is great...because they're my friends, plus we get to work together at times. Anyways...they're people that always make me smile when I see them. Maybe it's because I only get to see them every few months that it makes me happy to see them, and if I saw them more often, it wouldn't make me as happy. Whatever, it doesn't matter.
I ran into my old boss. I worked at this summer camp where the retreat was held and he is not the Executive Director. So we get to see each other pretty often and have become friends. Our Boss and Employee relationship is past and we are now friends. It's great. Anyways...he pulled me aside and was like we really need to talk. So we did.
He majored in Social Work and is just great with people. The first thing he told me was that he is great at reading people, which he is, and he noticed that I'm not "Becky" anymore. I was astonished. Someone that I don't see on a regular basis could tell that there was something wrong with me. So we sat outside and I just cried and spilled my little heart out. He had a few suggestions about what to do, so I was glad to have someone notice and care. Not that no one cares, but with my job, I'm the listener and I give the advice. I'm not always up for talking about myself and my problems. So it was nice to have someone listen and give me advice. We'll see what happens...
I'm not going to get into detail because some is personal...but I'm excited to see a change in myself.
Plus, I got to see some great people that I don't get to see that often. I guess now, they are all my colleagues. Which is great...because they're my friends, plus we get to work together at times. Anyways...they're people that always make me smile when I see them. Maybe it's because I only get to see them every few months that it makes me happy to see them, and if I saw them more often, it wouldn't make me as happy. Whatever, it doesn't matter.
I ran into my old boss. I worked at this summer camp where the retreat was held and he is not the Executive Director. So we get to see each other pretty often and have become friends. Our Boss and Employee relationship is past and we are now friends. It's great. Anyways...he pulled me aside and was like we really need to talk. So we did.
He majored in Social Work and is just great with people. The first thing he told me was that he is great at reading people, which he is, and he noticed that I'm not "Becky" anymore. I was astonished. Someone that I don't see on a regular basis could tell that there was something wrong with me. So we sat outside and I just cried and spilled my little heart out. He had a few suggestions about what to do, so I was glad to have someone notice and care. Not that no one cares, but with my job, I'm the listener and I give the advice. I'm not always up for talking about myself and my problems. So it was nice to have someone listen and give me advice. We'll see what happens...
I'm not going to get into detail because some is personal...but I'm excited to see a change in myself.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Hypnotic
Wow. I just went to a bon fire last night for my Bible Study night. (It just something to livin' up our gatherings). I love Fire. No, I'm not a pyro. But there is just something about a fire that is so hypnotizing. I could just stare at it for hours. Only two things do that for me. Stars and Fire.
Both of those things I could just sit/lie and look at for hours on end and not get bored. That was one of my favorite "dates" of all times. I was at this camp that I used to work at and me and this guy just laid on the dock of the creek and stared at the stars. It just doesn't get old.
I also remember being in Pennsylvania with my friend Rob and there was a fire where we were at, and it was just so captivating. There's something about those two things that just draws your attention to it. I love it.
Well I'm off for a weekend retreat with my middle school kiddo's and so I most likely won't be back until Tuesday. I will miss you all terribly, but I promise I will return.
Both of those things I could just sit/lie and look at for hours on end and not get bored. That was one of my favorite "dates" of all times. I was at this camp that I used to work at and me and this guy just laid on the dock of the creek and stared at the stars. It just doesn't get old.
I also remember being in Pennsylvania with my friend Rob and there was a fire where we were at, and it was just so captivating. There's something about those two things that just draws your attention to it. I love it.
Well I'm off for a weekend retreat with my middle school kiddo's and so I most likely won't be back until Tuesday. I will miss you all terribly, but I promise I will return.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Life or Something Like it
I have recently found out, maybe not found, but actually caught myself complaining so much. Yes, I have always been known as someone who complained about anything and everything, but I've been letting it spill over into my everyday life and I need to quit that.
Everytime someone asks me: How I'm doing or How's the job or How's Georgetown. . . I don't have the usually: "I'm Fine" "Work is good" "Georgetown is great".
I actually tell them what I'm thinking. I have so much great things going in my life right now, but for some reason I've had this pesimistic attitude take over me. I tell people that I'm not doing that good and that the job is stressing me out. I think my main problem is not having anyone to share things with. Yes I have friends, but not like when I was in college.
I have one great friend here in Georgetown and I love hanging out with him, but I've been here almost two years and have only made one friend. That seems a little off. And it's taken that whole year to actually get comfortable enough with this person to where we can just hang out and it not be weird.
I have made plenty of internet friends...but it's so much easier having a relationship with a screen than to go out and be bold and meet people. Who knew? I have daily conversations with a few people on the internet, to where I share a little...but it's a little different than having them here in my face.
I think I'm just draining myself emotionally and physically and spiritual because I worry about that ALL the time. I don't fill myself up when I get the chance.
I have a short talk with my mom yesterday and it's great to know that someone else know's what's going on in my life. I'm a listener, that's what I do. I listen to my youth when they have something on their mind, but I don't get to really share my life with them...that's considered 'crossing the line'. I do share stuff with them...but not the personal stuff that you need an actual peer for. And even though my mom know's my struggles, there really isn't much she can do for me. I just have to be strong and live, live for God and do my job. She reassures me that she too went through all of this. Living alone, struggling, not feeling up to par all of the time. It's just part of Life and your growing process.
Sometimes it just makes me hurt. Literally. I have had these awful back pains ever since high school. They come and go, but they've come back. I think I'm just stressed too much, it makes my body hurt so bad. Just sitting right now is killing my back. Funny how little things can take an effect on your body.
I'm hoping this trip to Tennesse in a couple weeks will do some good. I know it's work, but just a change of scenery can sometimes do so much.
Everytime someone asks me: How I'm doing or How's the job or How's Georgetown. . . I don't have the usually: "I'm Fine" "Work is good" "Georgetown is great".
I actually tell them what I'm thinking. I have so much great things going in my life right now, but for some reason I've had this pesimistic attitude take over me. I tell people that I'm not doing that good and that the job is stressing me out. I think my main problem is not having anyone to share things with. Yes I have friends, but not like when I was in college.
I have one great friend here in Georgetown and I love hanging out with him, but I've been here almost two years and have only made one friend. That seems a little off. And it's taken that whole year to actually get comfortable enough with this person to where we can just hang out and it not be weird.
I have made plenty of internet friends...but it's so much easier having a relationship with a screen than to go out and be bold and meet people. Who knew? I have daily conversations with a few people on the internet, to where I share a little...but it's a little different than having them here in my face.
I think I'm just draining myself emotionally and physically and spiritual because I worry about that ALL the time. I don't fill myself up when I get the chance.
I have a short talk with my mom yesterday and it's great to know that someone else know's what's going on in my life. I'm a listener, that's what I do. I listen to my youth when they have something on their mind, but I don't get to really share my life with them...that's considered 'crossing the line'. I do share stuff with them...but not the personal stuff that you need an actual peer for. And even though my mom know's my struggles, there really isn't much she can do for me. I just have to be strong and live, live for God and do my job. She reassures me that she too went through all of this. Living alone, struggling, not feeling up to par all of the time. It's just part of Life and your growing process.
Sometimes it just makes me hurt. Literally. I have had these awful back pains ever since high school. They come and go, but they've come back. I think I'm just stressed too much, it makes my body hurt so bad. Just sitting right now is killing my back. Funny how little things can take an effect on your body.
I'm hoping this trip to Tennesse in a couple weeks will do some good. I know it's work, but just a change of scenery can sometimes do so much.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
I love getting mail. It's so much more personal that getting an email on the computer. I just got a couple of picture CD's from my Best Friend's wedding. Becca is one of my oldest and greatest friends. One girl that I can just never be mad at. Anyways...thought I would share some pictures from her special day. It was such a beautiful wedding.
I just saw her this past weekend. She's about three months pregnant. How amazing is that? I'm so happy for her. A little jealous, but still happy for her.
I just saw her this past weekend. She's about three months pregnant. How amazing is that? I'm so happy for her. A little jealous, but still happy for her.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
What's going on?
I had a great Halloween. I've never gotten into the whole Halloween scene, and this year, again, I didn't. But I got to hang out with an old friend from High School. Just found out he lives about 20 minutes away. So we ate some pizza, drank some beer, handed out candy, threw some darts, listened to music and watched TV. Yes, there was catching up through out the whole night because we hadn't seen each other in years. Lots of years. It was nice. Nice to be around familiar people. But we have more of a histoty since we went to High school together and lived in the same subdivision, so there's a comfort level when your around people you know. Relaxing in a way because you don't have to try to "fit" in because you already know them.
Anyways...I had a good time. But that's not what's on my mind...
I have been having these awful nightmare recently. It's just weird because I used to never have scary dreams, but for about a month, every now and then I have these nightmares. Nightmares where I wake up shaking like crazy, and scared out of my mind. Last night I woke up screaming...actually screaming. Then it's hard to go back to sleep. Plus, I live by myself so it's not like I can just crawl into bed with a roommate, but I have to lay there shaking until I fall back asleep.
I know there's more too it, but I don't want to give out so many more details. I have assumptions of what I think is going on...it's just starting to freak me out.
I know when I'm dreaming...it's weird, I know that I'm sleeping and I know nothing's happening, but I'm always trying to wake myself up, and I can't. There's more to that too...but it's just getting more and more frequent to the extent where I'm scared to fall asleep. Maybe I just need to start having sleep overs so that I won't have to go threw them alone.
I've been taking sleeping pills at times, but I don't want to get hooked on those. Those just give me a peaceful night sleep and at least let me fall asleep right away if I wake up from a dream. Anyways...just pray that they stop because I'm getting a little scared.
Anyways...I had a good time. But that's not what's on my mind...
I have been having these awful nightmare recently. It's just weird because I used to never have scary dreams, but for about a month, every now and then I have these nightmares. Nightmares where I wake up shaking like crazy, and scared out of my mind. Last night I woke up screaming...actually screaming. Then it's hard to go back to sleep. Plus, I live by myself so it's not like I can just crawl into bed with a roommate, but I have to lay there shaking until I fall back asleep.
I know there's more too it, but I don't want to give out so many more details. I have assumptions of what I think is going on...it's just starting to freak me out.
I know when I'm dreaming...it's weird, I know that I'm sleeping and I know nothing's happening, but I'm always trying to wake myself up, and I can't. There's more to that too...but it's just getting more and more frequent to the extent where I'm scared to fall asleep. Maybe I just need to start having sleep overs so that I won't have to go threw them alone.
I've been taking sleeping pills at times, but I don't want to get hooked on those. Those just give me a peaceful night sleep and at least let me fall asleep right away if I wake up from a dream. Anyways...just pray that they stop because I'm getting a little scared.
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