Wonderful Days

I just had one of the best weekends I've had in a while. Three days that were just wonderful and full of little things to make me smile!! Here's a recap:

FRIDAY:
This day starts off with lunch with my aunt. She takes me to lunch every now and then and always brings me presents. She doesn't have any children and so she enjoys spoiling her neices and nephews, and now that I'm one that lives close to Austin, she has taken it upon herself to focus much of her spending on me. Now sometimes it's awesome stuff...and sometimes it's stuff for a 12 year old, but it's the thought that counts. OK, so that was fun. The day continues with a stop at the new Outlet mall in Round Rock. It was a beautiful day to be walking around outside. I was there for a reason, I need a black sweater to wear over my new dress for a wedding on November 19. OK, so I didn't find anything, so I went shopping in Georgetown at Wolf Ranch. Great place. I go to TJ Maxx. I love that place. As I'm about to go in, I see a woman about 12 feet away that's about to come into the store, so I stand at the door and hold it open for her. She looks at me and says "thank you" and so I say "you're very welcome" and then she looks at me and says "You're a very nice person!" and I say "thank you". I love little acts of kindness like that. I thought I was just being polite and she thought it was wonderful, so that was a little smile for me to keep for the rest of the day!


I bought some wine glasses while I was there. I have been wanting a nice set of wine glasses for a while so I just went ahead and got some. I took them home and washed them, TWO sad things happened. I broke one in the sink while I was washing it, which almost made me cry (because I only had 3 ugly wine glasses to start off with and I was so excited about having a set of 4), and then...they're too tall to fit in my cabinets :( That was a bummer. They're still sitting out on my counter because I don't know where to store them...


OK, now were at Friday night. Kyle's roommate Eric's birthday was Friday and so there was a group of them that went camping. I went out for a while that night. I'm not about to sleep on the ground, so the plan was to stay until about midnight...OK, that didn't happen. I was really having a great time. Sitting around the fire, talking with people and watching boys act like men. It's super funny. OK, so they're not really boys....maybe I should have said, Men acting like boys. They get funny when they're out in the wilderness. When midnight came around the guys wanted to take a trek to the river. I thought that was a good time to leave, they walk away and I sneak off to my VUE. Well, sometimes you just can't get passed a guy that is 6'6" and built like a brick wall. I was slung over the shoulders and carried into the woods, far enough to wear I would be scared to walk back to my vehicle by myself. So yes, I did make the trip to the river. Which I was glad I did because it was fun. Cold, but fun. I got to see a side of these guys that I don't rarely get to see...so I'm glad I stayed later than I planned. That usually happens, and I'm usually glad that I stay. OK...



SATURDAY:
I sleep till 11:30, so that right there is a good way to start a Saturday. I ran a couple errands in town and then decided that I wanted to see a movie. I drive to Tinseltown to see the 3:30 showing of The Prestige. I bought my coke from the counter and as I was saying "thank you" the guy behind the counter, he was maybe mid 30's, looks at me and says "you have such a beautiful smile". I blushed, said "thank you" and walked away. Again, another little act of kindness that made me smile. It's the little things. I watch the movie. It was excellent, I highly recommend it.


As I was walking back to my car I noticed that I missed a call from an old friend. Apparently he was working a lock-in at a church in Pflugerville where I just so happened to be. How ironic. So I drive out to where he is and we get to hang out for just a little bit. I hadn't seen him since February, so it was nice to see a familiar face again. For the past 4 years or so I've been in his cell phone as Boo. So that always makes me smile. What a great kid!


So that was a great Saturday. Plus, we all got an extra hour of sleep that night!

SUNDAY:
Confirmation Sunday. I could have ripped my hair out getting everything prepared for this Sunday. But everything ran so smoothly. I hate that I stress and overthink everything. It was a great service. I wore a dress! I haven't worn a dress that wasn't a bridesmaids dress in a very long time. Yes, I wear skirts every now and then, but a dress is different. So I got pleny of compliments that day, which of course made me smile. I got to go to a great after party with a delicious lunch and then it was back to church for some work.


I took a group of middle schoolers to a hockey game. I was excited, it was my first one. Sporting events are so much more fun live. I had a great time. Plus, afterwards, we all got to ice-skate with the Hockey players. Now that's a neat thing. Of course, I'm such a chicken that I didn't talk to any of them, but it was still a neat thing to do.

So that was my wonderful weekend. I didn't have a bad day and everything was just falling into place. I love weekends like that!!

Beckalicious

As I was driving home from Confirmation class last night I heard the new Fergie song on the radio called "Fergalicious" and I thought it would be funny to put my name in the place of Fergies name for some of the lyrics...It's good stuff. It's just bits and pieces, but here is what it would look like with my name and some lyrics cut out of the song!

BECKALICIOUS
Beckalicious definition make them boys go loco
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Boys just come and go like seasons

Beckalicious (Beckalicious)
But I ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that s**t is fictitious
I blow kisses (mmmwwahhh)
That puts them boys on rock, rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got

I'm the B to the E, C the K the Y
And can't no other lady put it down like me

That was fun, wasn't it?!! Just a little break in the day to put a smile on your face!!


Also, yesterday at lunch I went and bought the Mat Kearney CD, Nothing Left to Lose. It's a good one. But of course, I only buy good CD's. I'm waiting for next year for the Sick Puppies CD to come out because that one is going to be out of this world AMAZING! I recommend both of them!

Go Ahead, Tell me You'll Leave Again

Lying in my bed trying to fall asleep is when I come up with all these exciting things to write about in my blog the next day. And as soon as I sit down in front of the computer to let it all come out...I'm just blank. That drives me crazy. It even keeps me up at night because I have all these great ideas, and I try to come up with interesting way to write about them...I need to start keeping a notepad by my bed.

One thing that has really been bothering me, and I know it shouldn't but I can't help it...is the age difference between people in relationships. I know eventually it doesn't matter, my parents are 5 years apart, my best friend is 9 years younger than her husband, but I guess I see those as being acceptable because I know these men...they're good people. As for some other guys that I know...I know exactly why they're going for these younger girls and it just makes me want to scream. If I didn't know these boys intentions, I don't think it would bother me as much. But they've come right out and told me and it just gets me all riled up.
Apparently girls that are closer to their age are more mature and know what they want out of life and these girls that are under the age of 20 are all...lets drink and be stupid. No, I'm not being stereotypical...I've hung out with them and know them. I'm not saying don't have fun...just don't be "silly" about it.

I use the word "silly" in place of another word because I don't want to be vulgar for my readers. Now I like these guys....let me rephrase that...I LIKED (past tense) these guys, they're great people on the outside and to everyone else they're responsible, mature and all around good boys, but I've talked with them. Even had them on pedastools because of what I thought they represented. Had their hearts poured out to me, only to find out something younger and dumber would be easier to handle. Now I could just be bitter...but I've seen them together and it's makes me want to scrub every part of my body....

It also drives me crazy when family does that. I love everyone in my family so much. And to hear that someone younger is who they're looking for really makes me skin crawl. Why is that? Why do guys always look for someone that is 5-10 years younger than them? I don't get it. What can you possible have in common? Especially when the girls is barely in college and the guy has been out of college for years...I can understand later on in life when they're both on the same track of being out of college and living on their own. Whatever. I just hate to see these young girls get hurt...it makes me hurt for them.
So to all you boys out there...just be careful of what you're doing. Know that girls always fall harder than you do could possibly be reading into a situation more than you are. Just be cautious of what you're doing.

Also on another note, I know I'm 4 weeks early, but I am getting so excited about Thanksgiving. This is my all time favorite holiday!! Why you ask...mostly because there's a couple different types of mashed potatoes that are served that day, but because it's just a great holiday. The whole family gets together and all you have to worry about is food. You don't have to buy gifts for 30 people, you don't have to wrap the 30 gifts, all you do is sit around and eat all day. Maybe watch a little football and take naps, but it's a day dedicated to eating. Now I may not look like someone that eats a lot...but believe me, I can put it away. That is one holiday when I hate that I'm a picky eater. I mostly just eat the turkey, mashed potatoes and a roll....but I always get seconds. There's usually not a vegetable that I like served on that day and I don't know why that is. Then a couple hours after eating...it's time to hit the desert table. Deliciousness all around!!

29 more days!!!


I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly

I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden

And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long are you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same

In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same

Go ahead say it you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
-Sick Puppies

I'm Broken

Well it's been a while since I've reached out to you all in the land of the internet. It's been a busy week and half. I had almost gone insane...but then I came back.

I was very excited to go to Kerrville last week. We were going to have a mini-retreat for the San Antonio and Austin Conference Youth Directors. Something that I really needed. First I had to get up before 7:00 AM, so that was rough, and when I get up early I usually get that nauseous feeling in my stomach. Well that feeling wasn't going away even after getting out of bed and getting dressed and ready to go. My ride got to my apartment at about 7:15 and came up to my place. I told her I wasn't feeling well...long story summurized: I lost 5 pounds on Thursday because I was so sick. That's right...throwing up from 7:30 a.m. to 10:30...that makes for a long horrible day. It was awful. But I got to take lots of little naps and watch loads of TV. I like TV!!
Props to Kyle for bringing me some Delicous Gatorade (which I later threw up) and Over the Hedge. I haven't been sick like that in so long that I forgot how horrible feels.

So I spent the rest of the weekend laying on my couch and watching TV and sleeping. It was semi-relaxing, semi-recovery. Didn't eat much, so I didn't have much strength. But I got enough of it to go to Trunk-Or-Treat. That's just a little event that the church puts on for a Halloween Celebration. We line up our cars, decorate our trunks and the kids get dressed up and trick-or-treat from trunk to trunk!! It's fun.

Now I guess I'm still in some sort of recovery process. I still just feel so tired all day and my appetite is just shot. Nothing sounds good, and nothing tastes good.

"If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall...
...I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you"
-Sanctus Real

Cacahuete Festival

The 2nd weekend in October is dedicated to the Peanut Festival in Floresville Texas. Why a "Peanut" festival you ask...well, Floresville just so happens to be the Peanut Capitol of Texas. I know, that's a big deal. Of course, this is the weekend when college students come home, or people that moved away come back for a visit because they know everyone will be in town. Small town fun! It runs from Friday afternoon until late Saturday night.

I went out with my brother for a little while on Friday evening and ran into some old friends and family. You'll always run into someone you know. It really isn't that exciting, so Daniel and I went to Roper's. The only decent bar in town. We ran into our next door neighbor there. Our families have lived next door to each other for, I would say, about 27 years. They just so happen to be my God-Parents. My God Mother was killed by a drunk driver last November and it was a pretty rough ordeal. They had lost their 21 year old son to Asthma when I was really young and now this. The poor family has been through more, but that's none of your business. It just a different situation. Guy, my God Father, must have been there by himself, but knew the men around him. We got to chit-chatting for a little bit and he bought my brother and I a drink. Then we sort of went our seperate ways. I went back to talk a little more, but he kept saying how much he missed his wife and how he thinks about her every day and how he wished she was here to see me (it had been a while since I had seen the both of them). It was just a really emotional encounter. I never have the right words to comfort someone like that. I mean, they had been married for over 30 years and now she's gone. What do I know about any of that? I just hugged him and told him how good it was to see him out and about. Although a bar really isn't the place he should be out at, but still. I guess it's better to be out socially than stuck in a big house by yourself. All in all, I'm really glad that I ran into him.

Even after a late night, I got up to go to the parade the next morning. That was a little tougher than I expected. We always meet up with my uncle in the usual spot in front of the electric company. I got to see my cousin Sarah, that I dont' get to see that much. Plus some more of my Dad's side of the family. What a great weekend.

Narrowing down what I want to do with my future, which I'm a little excited about. Hopefully everything will work out the way I want it to.

You are my Joy

There's always that one song that can kind of just GET YOU GOING...you get pumped up and ready to go face the world. Maybe a theme song for you. I am one of those people that always seem to think of a song during conversation. In college when I would be walking around and this certain baseball player would walk by the only thing I would think of was the song "I want you to want me"...That song now comes up for other people as well...that song or the Mr. Big song "I'm the one that wants to be with you"...
When I see my friend Lauren I think of the lyrics "You are more Beautiful, than anyone EVER..." I just can't help myself. There's just music constantly playing in my head.

With that said...this is my new PUMP me up and get excited about life song:
And He set me on fire
And I am burning alive
With His breath in my lungs
I am coming undone
And I cannot hold it in and remain composed
Love’s taken over me and so I propose the letting myself go
I am letting myself go

You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
You are my joy
I need to catch my breath,
I need to I need to catch my breath,
give me a moment now
by The David Crowder Band...

My Original pump me up song is "Ice Ice Baby"...that one will always get me excited. But for now, this is my back up!

Where to Even Begin

What an amazing weekend. I couldn't have asked for a better one...it was much needed.
I attended the National Youth Worker's Convention from Youth Specialties. It was in Austin, but a friend and I got a hotel room for the weekend so it was like a mini-vacation. The speakers were great, the worship leaders were awesome, and fellowship is just always a good time. There was laughing, crying, praying, revealing, contemplating and so much more. I am worn out from all the walking and listening but I am so glad that I got to participate in it.

It's that little extra push of excitement about what I do that was a little overwhelming. I can't explain it, but right now, I'm so excited about what I do. I wish I didn't just get that once a year. But even so, I'm glad I got it. I could right an essay about everything that went on, but instead, I'm not. If you really want to know what happened, you can ask and I'll tell you!

They're Big, I'm Little.

Well the doctor visit went well. Although I had to sit in a freezing cold room all by myself without my shirt on. Which was weird. I don't usually take my shirt off for many people...
Good thing the doctor was pretty cute...married...but still good looking. He poked around on my back and made my bend over and stretch and all that good stuff. I told him the 3 different muscle relaxers that I've been on for my back...and he prescribed one of the same ones to me. Yay...more drugs.
Anyways...for now, his diagnosis is a herniated disc. There are many different terms to describe a herniated disc, such as a pinched nerve, bulging disc, ruptured disc or slipped disc. So for now I have to take a barrel full of ibuprofen a day and go to physical therapy a couple times a week until I get the hang of the exercises for me to do them on my own at home. So I'll go there this afternoon and see what's going on.
I guess this is just the first step in a process of relieving back pain, but I figure I've been dealing with this since my Junior Year of High School, it's about time. So that's that...hopefully my hour of exercise today will do some good.

On another note...I missed some voicemails on Monday, and I'm assuming it's because I turned my phone off while I was in the doctors office. Well, last night at 2:54 A.M. my voicemail on my phone sounded...so I decided to check it, since it scared me awake. No new messages. My phone just decided to pull a prank on my. NOT FUNNY. There were no missed calls, but it still went of. It was a little freaky...but oh well.

Finally

Well I finally did it...I'm going to go see a doctor this afternoon about my back.
After years of being uncomfortable, I'm going to get it checked out. I left work early on Thursday because I was in so much I couldn't concentrate on anything. So it was a rough day and Friday wasn't any better...then I had to go camping on Saturday.
Anyways....Thursday when I left work, I went and bought Back Pain Pills, some Emu lotion (I had gotten some in college it's supposed to be good for sore muscles) and a Lumbar pillow. And I still laid on the couch crying because everything hurt.

So Friday I spent most of the day on the phone with insurance figuring out all my deductables and what not. I found an Orthopedist on Georgetown that takes my insurance and had an opening today. So I took it.

I'm not expecting much because I've been to doctors for my back before...but I'm hoping it's a start and he can tell me what the next step is in getting this taken care of.

I'll let you know.