Just Breathe...

"Lonely Rivers flow to the sea..." What a great song.

So I had a big scare last Thursday. I wasn't feeling real well so I went to my awesome doctor as I had written before. Anyways...later that day I was feeling a little sleepy so I left work early. I walked up the three flights of stairs to my apartment and I was just out of breath and my heart was beating soooo fast. So I laid down, and for THREE and a HALF hours I could not get my heart to slow down. I thought I was going to explode. So I called the pharmacy to see what was going on. She just said...yea, it's must be a reaction between the shot you got and the prescriptions you're taking. Well DUH it's a reaction. I figured that one out all on my own. But she told me not to worry and that it should settle down in a little while. It did finally, but I was definitely scared. But I'm alive.

My goal for this week is that I am trying hard to put a positive spin on life. Not that things are bad, but I think things could be better. Things can always be better. But I hate that lonely feeling of not having anyone near by. So I am working on being a happier person. I get these spurts of positive energy every now and then, but I'm sure in a few days I'm going to get tired of being little Miss Smiles. But sometimes I just need to know that I can be happy even if I am faking it. (Please don't think I'm pathetic)

I do get to go home for a while this week. I'll leave Georgetown Thursday evening and drive the couple hours home to spend some quality time with the family. But I have to be back up here Saturday evening because Sunday is a big day obviously, for the church. So I don't get the actual Easter Sunday with the family, but at least I'll get more than a day with them.
I called my oldest brother this weekend as well to see what his work schedule was for Easter. See if we would cross paths when I come home. Well, we have a slightly different schedule but I should get to hang out with him at sometime. It had been a while since I had talked to him...like, actually had a conversation with him. We ended up talking for like an hour and a half. It was nice. I think I just need more people to actually have conversations with. I definitely have a new respect for my brothers. We're finally getting to that age where we can actually talk without throwing a punch or a "your stupid" in our words. It's awesome.

I am in the process of working on a youth event for some high school students for the first Sunday in April. Well one of the activities is a concert by this guy that I am totally crushed on. I am such a retard when it comes to boys. Well, I had to call him last night because I wanted to get an update on how things are coming along for the concert. Well, I could barely talk my heart was beating so fast. He didn't answer, which was no surprise, so I think I left this long message of me repeating myself and sounding like a fool. But I'll have you know, that was a huge step for me. I was very proud of myself. But now I have to call him AGAIN because I didn't get a hold of him. Hopefully that phone call will go a little better. I'm getting braver by the day.

"I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m beggin’ you to beg me." -Cheap Trick