I've gotten into this new thing called reading. And as much as I used to say I hate reading, I kind of like it now. I've read a few books this month alone, I just go through them like it's no big deal. Anyways...my old boss Sam-E was reading this book called, "Love Monkey" by Kyle Smith. It's a book written for guys from a guys perspective.
This intrigued me. Mostly because Sam-E said I probably wouldn't like it. So, I got online and bought it, cheap.
I just finished it. It's about a guy's dating life in New York. It weird to see how guys think compared to how I think. He goes through girls like it's no big deal, but he really only Truly wants to be with one of them...and of course she has a terrible boy friend that she's not going to leave for this guy that would treat her like a queen...Yes, girls are like that.
Anyways...one of the quotes that stuck out to me was: Do I really want to know what I'm missing? This guy really did want to know what he's missing. And I'm thinking to myself...No, because once you have it...you're always going to want it. Of course he was talking about sex, I'm just thinking of the companionship and the love between two people. (but I'm a girl and I think differently from guys).
Now, I'm always one to lend my advice to anyone that is seeking...but I rarely EVER listen to myself. Of course I would want to know what I'm missing. Just to experience for a split second and have that moment of happiness than a lifetime of just settling. Know what I mean? But then..it's always the same thing...you go back to that moment in time. You want that same experience over and over again and compare anything that comes close to it as not being that same.
Nothing is ever going to compare and then you're always going to be miserable. But as a girl, I don't listen to myself...Whatev.
Another thing on my mind that just kind of hit me...I totally want a baby. Now I'm not being stupid or anything, but I've be around a few toddler's and I'm thinking, Oh my Gosh, I can't wait to have one of these. Of course I won't even think about seriously having a child until after being married for a while...but still.
Then I'm thinking, what kind of mother am I going to be? Of course I want my child to be independant and self sure and all that wonderful stuff...but I just know that I'm going to want to do everything for my child so that they have a perfect life. I guess we'll just see when the time comes.
Then I was thinking...Lauren could totally marry my when I get married. But I think I would like her to do something else at my wedding....I guess that's if I ever meet someone that makes me not want to be so darn independant.
Oh yea another thing that I got upset about...I mean, not depressed or anything. I went to an auction on Friday night and decided to bid on this ONE good item: Dinner for six at the Fire Station prepared by the Fire Men!!! How Awesome would that have been?!! Dinner with Hot fire men!!! But I lost... I wasn't willing to give them enough money. Oh well...
But it was a great idea, I thought.
About Me
- Becky
- Georgetown, Texas, United States
- I love my family, my friends and God. I am a worrier...I worry about everything, from my job to what I'm going to wear in the mornings. I love life, but I crave more. I could live off of Mashed Potatoes and Coca-Cola and enjoy the occassional balanced meal. I live by myself in a town that I had never been to before I moved to it. I work as a youth director at a Lutheran church. I am constantly craving more in my life...relationships, money, support, etc...but then realize that my life is already blessed in so many ways that I am truly happy with my life the way it is.
2 comments:
Ha ha! Wouldn't that be CRAZY if I officiated at your wedding?! But I agree with you--I think I'd rather have another role, even if it's just sitting in the congregation. I was telling my family this weekend that I could baptize my sibling's children. . .of course, Leah nearly shouted, "no way!" (but mostly just to be mean. . .I hope. ha ha) Anyway, it's funny to think about that stuff. . .
Oh, and dinner with firemen????!!!! Wonder if Hutch would be there. . . ha ha! j/k
I previously would've said it's okay to not know what you're missing, but now I agree with what you said--even if it's just for a split second, it's still nice to have the experience. Kinda like that saying, 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.'
Thos are kinda some weird ideas. Sometimes I'm not too sure.
Ok, that's not true, I'm pretty sure. Love has its bad side along with its good side, just like everything else. And I wouldn't want to go through life without ever having loved just because I'm afraid I'd get hurt.
Maybe I just hate hearing that "It's better to have loved and lost" saying because it's like saying, "Hey, it could have been worse!" Which is always true, and people say it like it's wise, but it never makes me feel better.
"hey, I'm dying of AIDS but it could be worse.. a tornado could have killed my family half an hour ago. You're right, having AIDS doesn't suck at all."
I guess my point is, I too would want to know what I'm missing, and even though never having it would suck worse, missing it would still be horrible. I guess I don't see the point in pretending like one of them is easy.
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