Well it's almost midnight and I just arrived back home in the great...well, the town of Floresville. It's a nice place to come and visit. I haven't been up this late in a while, except for last night when Kyle and Brandon and I went to see "The Family Stone". I'm tired, but I know I won't get to sleep, so I might as well be a little productive. I'll start by why I'm back home.
Last weekend (Sunday the 1st to be exact) I talked with my mother about my work I did over the Holiday season and she begins to tell me about Liz's mom. Liz is married to one of my Best friends, Keith. Keith's mom and my mom have been best friends since the 8th. Long time family friends. Liz's mom has cancer and the doctors said she was getting better. Turns out, she wasn't. On Sunday my mother told me that it was so bad that they were only giving her a couple WEEKS to live. That's bad. I watched my Grandfather die of cancer, but that took about 6 years for it to actually take him.
My mother continues to tell me that she just HATES the word "CANCER". So much so that as she is talking, her voice is cracking. Now I consider my mother to be a very strong person (and she is) but certain things really get to her. Such as, Cancer. She was 47 when her dad died of Cancer and she was just very upset that a 21 year old girl was having to watch her mother die of it.
Anyways...
Liz's mom died on Wednesday. A couple of weeks turned into three days. How rough is that?
So I had two hours of driving to think about this.
I'm 23, and I don't know what I would do if I had to watch anyone of my parents suffer/die from cancer. That is a scary/horrible/sad thing to have to go through. Then I thought how different I would act if my parents did have cancer. Why is that? Why should we only be good and share our appreciation with them only because they're sick? That is something that we should do daily and not have to think about doing. I love my parents to death, but I can't even tell you the last time that I said "I love you" to either one of them. We just don't do that in my family. We all know that we love each other, but we just don't actually come out and say the words. Isn't that sad?
I think it's terrible. I definitely take for granted that my parents are healthy and there for me whenever I need them. I hate that. I don't know what I would do if I lost one of them right now. I wouldn't be able to function for a long time. I sometimes have a hard enough time as it is now, but I can always call them, or drive down if I need to. I wouldn't be able to do that if they weren't here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need to start telling people how I really feel about them. Not just occasionally, but all the time. You never know what is going to happen. I love all you guys out there and I appreciate everything about you.
I hope no one has to go through was Liz is going through right now. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day, just because I am so sad to see someone so young lose a parent. Her children won't have that grandmother, Liz won't have her mother. I could go on and on. I just need to be thankful that I have a healthy and loving family...
God Bless...
About Me
- Becky
- Georgetown, Texas, United States
- I love my family, my friends and God. I am a worrier...I worry about everything, from my job to what I'm going to wear in the mornings. I love life, but I crave more. I could live off of Mashed Potatoes and Coca-Cola and enjoy the occassional balanced meal. I live by myself in a town that I had never been to before I moved to it. I work as a youth director at a Lutheran church. I am constantly craving more in my life...relationships, money, support, etc...but then realize that my life is already blessed in so many ways that I am truly happy with my life the way it is.
4 comments:
Start something new and tell your parents you love them. Often. I know your family doesn't do that, so it's kinda weird to start all of the sudden. But what the heck?
I have this weird complex that if I DON'T say "I love you" to my parents when I get off the phone, I'm afraid it's like bad luck or something. . .like something may happen to them the one time I don't get to say "I love you." It's dumb. I even say it several times as we're getting off the phone, just to make sure they hear me, just so that's the last thing they hear from my mouth. It's kinda one of those things I tell everyone close to me, because you're right--you never know. And I don't think you can say it enough. Those words never get old.
I know what you mean Twinks. You don't live your life just preparing for the people you love to die, and then something like this comes out of nowhere and really messes up your perspective for a while.
It is important for you to tell someone how you feel about them every now and then, but to be fair to yourself, maybe that's not how you are, and if it's something that makes you uncomfortable to do all the time then you have to force it, and it's not right.
Let me try and put things a different way:
I've always been a believer in the idea that actions speak louder than words. If you love someone, you treat them as if you love them. That doesn't mean being excessively mushy, just that you are there for them when they need you, and you are still interested in them even when they don't need you.
The first time you tell someone you love them, it shouldn't be a surprise. There are several people I know and love that I've never said "I love you" to, but deep down I think they already know that I do. For me, in fact, I don't think anything could inspire more confidence between myself and my friend then for me to tell them, "I love you" and for them to reply, very sincerely and non-sarcastically, "I know you do, Rob."
Is it important to say it? Of course. And if you feel like you want to start, then I think that's great. But it's not the most important thing.
But for the record, I appreciated reading it in your blog just now anyway!
:-)
Robby, thanks for that. I like your view on that. I would say I'm more of a "doer" than a "sayer". I think my parents and friends know that I love them by my actions. And there is definitly the "I love you" thrown in there every now and then. It's just not every conversation. I can say "I love you" to my friend Becca like nothing. We've just always said that to each other.
I say it to Lauren and Courtney too, maybe I just know they won't look at me funny when I do say it.
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