So Sad to Say

I can't help it...it's just been on the mind. Why you ask...because it's all around. No, not love. Death.
No this isn't going to be sad sappy entry. It's just on the mind.

I've been around death more than some people I know. I don't say that to brag or anything, it's just something that I grew up with. I know some people that hadn't gone to a funeral until they were in their 20's. My first funeral must have been with I was 5 or 6...maybe even before that. Just some distant relatives that I went to with my family.

Anyways...it just got me thinking. My next door neighbor died when I was about 7 (maybe younger) he was 21 and had a really bad asthma attack. Then his mother, who so happened to be my godmother died this past November because she was in a wreck with a drunk driver.
I watched my only grandfather die of cancer for a good 5 years. That finally ended when I was in the 8th grade.
Then when high school rolled around I had a friend die every summer I was in high school.
Freshman year it was Garrett, he was drinking and driving.
Sophomore year it was my neighbor Gregory, he was leaving his graduation party and took a turn too fast, hit a tree. (No he wasn't drinking because he had a heart problem).
Junior year it was another neighbor, Brandon, he was buried alive doing construction.
Senior year it was Kevin, he drowned. That year was also my best friends grandmother. (which so happened to be my friends first funeral).

Year after that is was my grandmother who had an enlarged heart. Can you believe that. Dying because your heart is too big. That seems odd to me.

There were a couple more. Jeff, a girl from TLU that I can't remember her name right now, Pedro...
Then last month it was Liz's mom who had a type of cancer.

Anyways...I won't get into all the other funerals I've been to. Plus, most TV shows I watch have some type of murder or patient that is dying. How can you not be around it?

My feelings on death come and go. Sometimes I'm not scared and I think, I could go peacefully right now. Other times I think, I want to live 60 more years so that I can get married and have a family and see what that's all about.

We talked about death in Bible Study a little last week, for more of a comfort. We believe in something after death...Eternal life, God, Angels. For Christians it's almost something to look forward to. Forever is a long time, but it's going to be so great once we're all together.

But what if you don't believe in an after life? I don't know. I had a good friend that I met in Ju.Co. that grew up in a non-Christian household and it made me sad when we talked about religion and faith. He believed in just living a good honest life was good enough and that when you die...that's it's you're gone. Sad.
Yes I think we should all live a good honest life, but what about Jesus. He is our gate we pass through to get to heaven. We need him in our lives. Listen to me being all preachy...that's not like me. I guess this is just my way of "evangelizing" because I'm not good at that in real life.

I don't know, it's just something to think about. We all need to be prepared because we all know that something can happen in a blink of an eye. I just want to comforted and know that I will get to see all my friends and relatives when I leave this earth. I have some family that don't go to church or believe in anything and it just makes me really sad. I'm not saying you have to be a preacher or anything. Just look into it and open your eyes to all the wonderful things God has given us.
I could go on an on but my hands are aching from typing....
Blessings to you all.

"I'll let you in on how I'm feeling
you've got a lot of nerve
you'll get what you deserve
granted this feelings unappealing
I'm bitter, I'll admit
now I've gotta deal with it
just one more thing okay
it so s-sad to say, it's,

so sad to say
what we had has gone away
ya could say its sad
think of what we could have had"
-Mighty Mighty Bosstones