Everyone wants to find the lid to my pot...

Lids and Pots definition
Wow...being single and working at a church filled with mother's and grandmother's and aunt's can be tiring. There seems to be something VERY appealing about me to these women. I just seem to be the PERFECT person for their son, grandson, or nephew to be with. That winds up being tons of pressure on myself. Of course they think their son/grandson/nephew is this amazing guy and very interesting, which I'm sure he is, but what if I'm just not that interested in him or not attracted to him. Then what? Am I just the snotty girl who thinks no one is good enough for me.

I have had a couple women talk to me about their son's and I even have a lady who works in a mail store in town that randomly get's guys phone number's for me, or gives mine to them. She wants me to finally meet someone.

Well now there is this whole scheme going on to set me up with a guy that goes to church here. Apparently his mother has been thinking/planning this for some time now. She just thinks we would be good together. Now, she is not telling her son any of this because he would be completely embarrassed, and I am not supposed to know anything either, but I have snoops that go around that keep me up to date. Anyways...my lady friend called him and asked if he would be interested in being a male chaperone during my Sunday night devotions with my high school kids. (Yes, we are now pulling my youth into this). So she tells me I have to call him to set this stuff up...Oh my gosh!!!!!

Whatever, so I called him yesterday to see if he was interested in helping out and protecting us poor helpless souls as we sit in our youth room on Sunday night. We only talked for a little while (I don't really know him, so I don't really have anything to say) and then he asked me if I had any plans for that evening. Hello...it's Valentine's day...I'm not going to hang out with someone I don't know on V-Day...Plus I was on my way to the UT vs. Baylor basketball game. (Yes, UT spanked Baylore...go figure).
Anyways...now he's going to come and sit in on my devotion on Sunday night. We'll see how that goes...

On another note...I turned my cell phone ringer off last night because the past few nights I've been getting random phone calls and text messages in the middle of the night and I just wanted to sleep. I woke up this morning and my little red light was flashing...I got a text message and some point in the night. It was Dube. He was my neighbor in college and we became pretty good friends. And I had a huge crush on him because he was the only semi-mature guy that went to our school. Anyways...he told me that he was smoking his last cigarette and that it was time for him to quit that immature habit. What tell me that you ask? I have no clue...but I'm thinking it's because he's secretly in love with me and wants me to know that he's growing up. Not really, but it did get me thinking. Of all the people he could have sent that to, why me...and at 3:00 A.M. for that matter. I mean he's pretty good about keeping me up to date with all his happenings, but for something like that I was just a little curious as to why he had the urge to tell me that.
It doesn't matter...it was just a nice little surprise to get a little message from him.

More good News...I get to go home tomorrow!! Yea, I'm excited. I'll go to San Marcos for a meeting and then head out from there. I need a little time back hom so that should be nice. I called my mom yesterday to tell her that I would be home a day earlier and she said that she and my Dad will be going to the Rodeo that night. Hopefully they'll get me a ticket. I don't really get to go to the Rodeo...mostly by choice, but I think it would be fun. They're going to see the "Stars of Texas". Which includes the following artists: Kevin Fowler, Jack Ingram, Cory Morrow, Charlie Robison and Randy Rogers. I guess that's a good line-up. I've seen Charlie Robison before and I really liked him. And Kyle tells me that I saw Kevin Fowler before with him...but maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Whatever, it'll just be nice to do something with the 'rents.
Then I'll get a little hang out time with my younger brother Daniel and a Baby Shower for Becca on Saturday...lot's of fun stuff going on the next couple days.

Well, with the good comes the bad. My nightmares are coming back and I'm scared I'm waking up my neighbor because I wake myself up screaming. Weird. For those who don't know, my mom is always tell me that people that work in the ministry have this huge target on their back for the Devil to find us. That is why we have so many struggles and a hard time with decisions and all sorts of stuff. Well with these nightmares that comes it always has to do with "demon"...I guess. I feel them and know that they're around me...Well Sunday night I saw one. Now I could just be going crazy or have a wild imagination while dreaming, but oh my goodness it freaked me out. Upon being ugly, it had these amazing glowing blue eyes that matched it's blue glowing horns. So from a distance if you couldn't see it's face, you could see it's eyes and horns...and it left through my air conditioning vent.

Now I don't tell many people about these occurances, because a) it's a little embarrassing b) people just think I'm over reacting c) it has to all be in my imagination. But they're so real when it happens. I'm the kind of dream where I know whem I'm dream, so in a sense I'm kind of controlling what happens...but I really don't see myself wanting all this to happen. I seem to wake up saying the Lord's Prayer because it's a safety net to me. I feel if the demon hears me saying this, it'll just leave me alone. Sometime's it works and sometimes it takes a while. Weird, I know. Please don't call me crazy. It doesn't happen every night...but it happens regularly. I have a friend who has had similar "experiences" so I don't really feel like I'm just crazy, but I would still like for all this to stop. Sometimes I don't want to go to sleep for fear of what is going to happen during the night. Sometimes I can't breathe, sometimes it shakes me, sometimes it just stares at me...CREEPY...
But I'm thinking if I get it out in the open it should die down because it knows I'm not scared of it. Or maybe I just need a way to release this tention so that I don't release it in my imagination of my dreams...