I woke up in a car

I didn't really wake up in a car, but that song by Something Corporate is playing and those words are just in my head.
I just got back from a great lunch with one of my senior high youth. She is such a wonderful person. I like to spend quality time like that with my youth....but usually they're in school and I just sit here at my desk whatever.

Tonight I have dinner plans with this guy...let's call him "T". 'T' was a camper when I worked at camp and now he is a sophomore at the University in town. So we've hung out before and what not. I get nervous sometimes though, because last time I hung out with him he said something to the point of him liking me. I mean he definitely is older than what I remember, but still he is a few years younger than me. I just hate putting myself and others in awkward situations. Or maybe it's just me thinking that things are weird. I hate that. Whatever...it's just dinner.

Everytime I think of well just about anything, it gets back to relationships somehow. And I was thinking about the phrase relationships are for people waiting for something better come along. How are we to now what the "better" is? If we always think there is something better, is there always going to be something better? Personally I don't want that going on in my head all the time. Then I would never settle down because I'm always going to think that there is something greater than what is in front of my face. But then if I don't think like that am I just "settling". Thinking that this is as good as it gets. OR what if what I think is the "better" really isn't? What if I want something that I think is the best but really is totally wrong for me. Then how will I know what is right and what is wrong? Maybe I just think to much and over analyze every situation that I come into contact with. I think I just might need therapy or some one to just tell me to shut up and not worry so much. If I LIVED instead of worried I probably wouldn't even be thinking about this, huh? OK, I'll shut up.

faineant \fay-nay-AWN\, adjective: Doing nothing or given to doing nothing; idle; lazy.
noun: A do-nothing; an idle fellow; a sluggard.