Yet another weekend of my life was spent in San Antonio, I seem to be going there a lot lately when I find myself not at work. It's a soothing and familiar place to me and I'm actually happy when I'm there.
While I do not have to work on Friday's most other people with normal hours do. So I treated myself to the movies and while watching this movie something really dawned on me. It was weird because as I was sitting in the dark theater I just had one of those "that's what it is" moments. I figured out why I was never comfortable in a relationship: I have always been scared of not being able to live up to how other people see me. I'm just me, and I always think that people see me differently. Like they see me as someone who is always put together and knows what she wants out of life and is always happy and easy to get along with. When really...I'm a mess, I'm a lot different from what I may seem to be like, I never think I'm as pretty as other girls, and I'm not always easy to get along with. But who isn't all these things? We all have our moments. Whatever...I just need to learn to be "ME" and have people know that I can be all sorts of crazy because what you see is not always what you get...know what I mean.
And to my sweet LD, like you always tell me, someone will love me for all my craziness and someone will love you for all your craziness! It will be easy and though there will be trying times, it won't be too much to work through.
I've fallen down so many times trying so hard to impress people and make people happy and do what I feel is right, that sometimes it's just a kick in the face. If we have to try that hard, then it's just not worth it if people don't see us for who we are. Just remember: When a newborn chick thinks it's whole world is collapsing it's just the beginning of a new and wonderful life.
"And she falls down tryin'
Yeah she falls down cryin'
And she tells me that she does it all for me.
When the clouds come and the rain falls,
When there's nothing here to hold on,
Will I be there is the question from you."
-Familiar 48
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1 comment:
Oh so very true. . .I like those lyrics.
I have my own issues to deal with, just like you have yours. We all have 'em. I learn a little more about mine and how to deal with them with each try. . .and it's frustrating. And then someone does take you and love you for who you are, but then decides that that alone is not enough--and lets life circumstances conquer love. Which I don't think they ever should. . .but then again, maybe I'm an idealist.
Oh, the bitterness of the broken-hearted. . .ha ha Love you, girl!
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