Just Let It Go...

I've never thought of myself to hold a grudge against anyone...I'm one of those forgive and forget and lets be friends again...I'm having a hard time with that right now.

I got a phone call from a friend this weekend to give me some info for our spa day on Saturday in San Antonio...well I asked if anyone was doing anything exciting on Thursday or Friday night before the spa day that I needed to come in early for. . .That's when it hit me like a brick wall. Something about Travis and this other girl maybe doing something...

Now Travis and I have a little history together, nothing big, I think we went out a couple times in high school. But he's always been the boy that I look back on and think of how much I liked him and if things were different...blah blah blah...I've definitely had a crush on him since high school, but then he moved to Colorado and then he joined the Marines and life just got in the way, you know what I mean.
Well in June he poured his "heart" out to me about how has always had this huge crush on me and how much he liked me and wanted to "try" and start something with me and how his family already loves me and he didn't care that I lived in Georgetown, and I told him how I felt and how I've waited to hear him say that, blah blah blah...well as you know that got shot to shit...and YES it did hurt, but I got over it.

The thing that's bothering me, is that he been dating this girl since like the week after he told me all those things. Who does that? All of a sudden just change your feelings and move on to the next one, it takes me longer than a week to do that...And I'm friends with this girl and I'm going to have to spend the day with her on Saturday and I can already see myself being a little stand-off-ish around her and I don't want to be that way. I guess it's more because I like this girl and I don't want her to get hurt because I know this guy can be a jerk...I don't know maybe it's different this time.

Or...maybe I'm just jealous because I'm always the girl that gets shit on and not the one that guys just drop what they're doing to hang out with me...you know. I'm just ready for my turn. And I don't want to be all emotional when I go and hang out with all these girls this weekend.

What a yucky feeling. Does everyone else have this much drama in their lives, because sometimes I feel like I'm just a magnet for it...

I just wish I was strong enough to let all this stuff just slip right off of me...I would feel so much better if I would let it go and not dwell on it. I mean, guys seem to just let it go...why is it harder for girls to do the same?