Ache

Oh my goodness my heart hurts so much right now and I am just so confused about life right now.
I've never been real open about my feelings. I usually just end up making an idiot of myself and so I try and stay away from sharing things. That way...I don't get hurt, right? Well, what am I supposed to do if after a week of knowing someone they want me to pour my heart out about what I'm thinking? Conversations like that just scare the heck out of me. But I was brave...I said what I felt, but I'm so scared that I was too late in it. But really, was I? After a week? I haven't even met the guy. Yea, I mean, I think about him constantly and I can't fall asleep until I talk to him. But I didn't want to be that obsessive little girl that just falls for someone so fast.
But I do. I fall fast...and hard sometimes.
I just want to feel normal...I haven't eatin in weeks, my stomach always hurts, I feel like I'm going to cry if just the slightest thing happens. Apparently I am just very emotional right now. What a girl.
It's weird to think...I'm having all these feelings and I feel weird for having them. But am I making someone else feel the same way? I don't want to cause this type of discomfort on someone else.
I just need a good hug and a strong shoulder....
You know what...in my other blogs, I kept saying he's not typically someone that I would ordinarly want to be with. But I've never really shared my feelings with someone...and I think this could be something awesome. I believe that God makes people meet for a reason. God wanted me to meet him and we did. It's like that Weezer song: "I think I'd be good for you and you'd be good for me".
I sure hope he calls tonight!