I can't believe how much I'm changing...I guess that's the right word.
I don't watch TV as much as I used to. I just get bored with it. Plus, I daydream while I watch and then I usually end up thinking about someone or something that I shouldn't be thinking of at all. So I'm trying super hard to keep myself occupied so that I don't get the feeling of loneliness like I used to. I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts back up again because then the office is going to be super dead and then I'll have all this time to just sit and Think.
The plan was to go tubing on the river in New Braunfels today, but the weather said it was going to storm...but as I look outside right now, it's looks sunny and beautiful. So now I'm just stuck in the office. Which isn't that bad, I do have work that I need to do. Not that I'm doing much about that now seeing as I'm spending more time on my blog and checking e-mails and what not.
Yesterday was a pretty hectic day as well. I met with my Youth committee council representative. We made a trip into Austin to a book store and got some Ice-cream at Marble Slab...Yum. Then we came back and worked on next years budget. I didn't like the office until about 7:00. That's a LONG time for me to still have been at work. But then I didn't have that much time to just sit around and be lonely, so it did have it's positive outcomes.
I leave for Key West in 7 days!!! Yea...
I'm still hoping that Matt will be a sweetheart and surprise me on my birthday. How awesome would that be. But I guess I won't even hold my breath on that one.
"i've learned to disappear and i've learned to hide my pain
in a fucked-up world where there's too much hate
i just don't get it is there something wrong with me?
if i look inside maybe then i'll see that
i'm looking for someone yeah
i'm looking for someone who feels like i do"
-Suicide Machines
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Change doesn't have to be bad. In fact, sometimes it is necessary, whether we like it or not. I, myself, feel as though I am allergic to change for the most part. But like I said, sometimes it is necessary anyway.
TV in itself has become very boring. The stuff aired on it now just gets old quick. There are very few things that I watch. Most of what I do watch is reruns. The only semi-new show I watch is Lost. I decided to try to watch it the second time they ran the season. After the 1st show, I got hooked. However, I have missed the past 3 shows. Other than that, I don't watch much. Fresh Prince, Friends, and Wheel of Fortune are some usuals for me, and even they get boring. The hardest thing for me to do is stay awake. I have to get a hobby. I, like you, do get lost in my thoughts. Sometimes it is relaxing, while others it is nerve-racking.
Did it ever storm today? Don't you hate when you cancel something due to the weather, and it never gets bad. I used to cancel my boys' Soccer practices if there was a good chance of rain, but then it wouldn't rain. After a while, I just let the boys show up for practice, and if it stormed I would send them home. I didn't mind practicing in the rain, but once there was thunder or lightning, I sent them home.
I hope things start to look up for you in the lonely department. I know that is a terrible feeling. That can be like a storm itself. Emotional storms are bad. But like most storms, they pass. Just wade it out. It will change. Keep your head up. Hope to hear from you soon. Let me know, if you need to talk. Make it a great day.
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