You know how people always make the comment about needing to 'find themselves'...I've also heard that you need to 'find yourself before you can "find" yourself with someone else'. I think that is where I am in my life right now. I always thought I knew who I was...but I'm beginning to wonder how much of me I really am. I find myself acting/dressing/responding differently when I'm with different people.
When I'm with my friends from high school, I find myself trying to look professional and nice and showing off that I've been out of college for a while and have a career.
When I'm with friends from college, I could care less what I look like. I let the other girls dress "pretty" and I show up in jeans and my all-stars, and usually a black shirt.
When I'm with my youth, I dress 'younger'...tank-tops, flip-flops, make-up.
And I also noticed that when Matt was down...I tried dressing more like a girl. (Nice shirts, skirts...all because some lady told me that guys like it when girls dress like girls and not like 'tom boys') That's not me, I don't want to change how I dress for someone.
I assume that everyone is like this, right? I always want to be the one that stands out, so I dress opposite of what I know my group of friends will dressed like.
How does someone "find" themselves? What does it take to be comfortable with yourself and really truly know the real you, so that you can find someone who you can actually be yourself around?
"I'm afloat in the ocean trying not to sink
I'm a crack in the asphalt you walk by in the street
I'm a falling star you'll never see
The light in your eyes the eye can't take
So Who am I?"
-New Found Glory
About Me
- Becky
- Georgetown, Texas, United States
- I love my family, my friends and God. I am a worrier...I worry about everything, from my job to what I'm going to wear in the mornings. I love life, but I crave more. I could live off of Mashed Potatoes and Coca-Cola and enjoy the occassional balanced meal. I live by myself in a town that I had never been to before I moved to it. I work as a youth director at a Lutheran church. I am constantly craving more in my life...relationships, money, support, etc...but then realize that my life is already blessed in so many ways that I am truly happy with my life the way it is.
1 comment:
I kinda agree with Dustin. That is pretty deep. I never thought of this being an issue for you. I mean you always seemed to act (write) the same everytime. But it's good to see that you noticed your different characteristics. In many cases people don't see these things. I have a friend that used to have a real Identity Crisis going on. You see. He was a good old country boy. However, when he was with our black friends, he would act like they did. One time he came to school with his hair braided. It didn't look bad, but it wasn't him. When he was with me, some of that would go away, not all of it, but some. When he was in school or with his girlfriend, he became the country boy again. It's kinda hard to explain. He finally became the country boy, and stayed that way. I don't know if you'd say he found himself or not. I don't know what happened. I'd say he realized he didn't have to change for anyone. Neither do you.
It may not be a problem finding yourself. It could just be how comfortable you feel around certain people, this is of course concerning the way you dress. Actions are a whole other ball of wax. It's easy to tell someone to just be themselves, but if they don't know who that is, it's not easy to do.
Dustin said he thought you just knew when it happened. That makes sense, but you tell us that you thought you knew who you were, and now are beginning to wonder. I feel it is something that you can make happen, kinda. Let me try to explain. Finding oneself it part of this journey we are on. It is part of our mission. You really can't do anything until you know who you are. To know who you are means to know who you are inside. The outside doesn't really matter that much, when it comes to who you are. For example, I can look through all of these blogs, and find numerous pictures (I found yours remember), but that doesn't tell me anything about who the person in the picture really is. Your picture told me what you looked like, but we all know how deceiving looks can be. It wasn't until you replied to my comment that I started to see who you were. Even now, I don't know much. And the same goes for you towards myself. In fact, you may not have even seen a picture of me well. Yet, you know more about me, than any picture could really say.
So how do you make it happen? These are my thoughts only. They come from no particular source of wisdom, just my mind (boy is that scary or what). I'm sure these thoughts differ from those of others. But I feel You should place yourself on a pedestal. Don't get me wrong. I don't mean to make yourself higher than everyone else. That would be wrong. I mean you have to take a stand. What do you believe? How do certain things make you feel? What do you like? Who is the closest to you? Why? All of these little questions make up who we are. Notice that none of these things are etched in stone. Just because we feel one way one day, doesn't mean that we can't change that. WE define who we are, and WE decide when we change, WE control the outcome. You can't let others tell you who you should be, and how you should act. Now, I don't mean that you should totally ignore everyone's opinions. Listen to what people say, but YOU be the one that makes the decision as to whether to change or not. I guess that should be as clear as mud by now. Well, I don't know if I helped, but if I did, great. If not, at least I got to leave you with a long comment...lol...
Good luck in your search. You know what they say, "When you get where you are going, there you are." That probably didn't make things any more clear, did it? Sorry. I hope this helps, and again, good luck.
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