Apparently I really liked Matt. Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic that just thought it would have been a great story to tell my grandkids. I don't know. But still, every morning when I wake up and right before I go to sleep, I'm still thinking of Matt. WHY IS THAT? Maybe it was just nice to have someone to talk to, but you know, I have people to talk to.
But then I look at the situation and I'm like...Becky, he's 1500 miles away, if he was really interested he would have made more of an effort and you made a great friend out of whole thing. So I really should just drop the "I'm so sad" act. It just sucks.
I talked to some of my old buddies from TLU which was awesome. My friend Ross (he used to live next door to me) is working this summer in Virginia. I think it's good for him, he just got out of this ridiculous relationship that was always so rocky. I don't want to say anything bad about it because I love him and his ex. I also got to talk to Dube (also an old neighbor) and he is making a career change which I think is very good on his part. I get excited when I talk to them because I am so opposite from both of them, yet we get along so great. I'm the girl that doesn't drink a lot and I go to church and they were basically bums (but not in a bad way) and drank A LOT and didn't always make it to class, but we had a great friendship. They respected me and my choices and they came to me when they had a problem. It was just...nice. Anyways...
I'm about to head home in a bit, I'll go to church and then get on the road. I was actually just about home last night, I went to San Antonio with some friends. We had like a mini high school reunion. There was about 15 of us, and we were still missing some of the "group". It's weird now to see them all in a big group. Some of them are married, most engaged, long committed relationships, and then there was me. Yes, it does kind of make me feel shitty. But whatever, I don't want to be married right now anyways. It just stinks knowing that they have already found their 'someone'. I know, my day will come. But sometimes I'm impatient.
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Hopeless Romantic? I guess that's a term you could use, but do you really think "Hopeless" is right? You haven't given up on us, have you? You DO have people you can talk to, But it probably isn't the same. Matt, I doubt, can be replaced. Your other friends are not like him. He will always hold a place in your heart. You just have to have a big enough heart the share with others as well. I was always accused of having too big of a heart. It lead me to a lot of heartache, but I think I am better for it, now. You mentioned the "I'm so sad ACT". DO you consider it an act? I mean what you said is true, "if he was really interested he would have made more of an effort". Things will work out, just don't give up.
It's good to see old friends. I may have already told you (or maybe I put it in a blog), I saw a few of my old high school friends a while back. I was attending the funeral of a guy I graduated with. My wife and I had spoken of our 10 year reunion, and weren't really interested in attending. But after seeing several of them at the funeral, we actually got excited about it. It is supposed to be next year some time. As with your case, many of them were married or engaged, and some had children. I can't talk, I had a son, while IN High School. You said something that I feel you might want to think about, "Some of them are married, most engaged, long committed relationships, and then there was me...It just stinks knowing that they have already found their 'someone'." The part I am referring to is "Long Commited Relationships". One thing I have noticed about A LOT of people I know is that though they got married early, they didn't stay together. Just because they go through the motions and say their I Do's doesn't mean "that they have already found their 'someone'." You shouldn't consider yourself impatient, but careful. Find Mr. Right. We shouldn't compare our lives to the lives of those around us. I'm glad I do things differently than the people I went to school with. After all, if I had followed them I may not be where I am today. The funeral I was at was for a guy I graduated with, but he took his own life. being married isn't always roses. Wait! Marriage is wonderful. And it should be experianced one time, for a lifetime to get the full effect. Hope this helps. (BTW - I didn't use spellcheck, so sorry for any errors...lol...)
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