Sunday, June 19, 2005

And I don't want to talk about it

Well it happened. Matt called last night and it's official...I'm an idiot. I know long distance stuff is silly but me...I'm such a sucker, I would have moved to Detroit in a heartbeat. But seriously how can you really build a relationship with someone so far away? I wanted it to work. But I was just being selfish I guess.
Matt was very very sweet about everything though. He does work ridiculously long hours plus his band is very important to him. He really just doesn't have time for anyone extra in his life right now. At least I know... and I"m not sitting around wondering why he isn't calling me. He's not calling anyone because have anytime. That wouldn't be fair to me. Plus he thinks we're too different from each other, but that's what I liked. We were different and that made it exciting.
OK so my mind is going 90 miles and minutes right now and I can't think strait...I'm out of here for a week, I'll try to write more later. Peace out Yo's.

"I looked away, then i looked back at you.
You tried to say, things that you can't undo.
If i had my way, i'd never get over you.
Today's the day, i pray that we make it through.
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
And i don't wanna fall to pieces,
i just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And i don't want a conversation,
i just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
cuz' i'm in love with you.
You're the only one,
i'd be with till the end.
When i come undone,
you bring me back again.
Back under the stars
Back into your arms
And i don't wanna fall to pieces,
i just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And i don't want a conversation,
i just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it,
cuz' i'm in love with you.
Wanna know who you are.
Wanna know where to start.
I wanna know what this means.
Wanna know how you feel.
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything...everything."
-Avril Lavigne

1 comment:

Richard said...

Ouch! I hate to hear things like this (broken relationships). I have tried the long distance relationship, and you are right. It is hard to do. However, that doesn't mean it can't work. I don't know Matt (or either of you as far as that goes), but you would think (at least I would think) that he knew all of this before. Any relationship can and does work out, when both parties try. The fact (if it is a fact) that you were too different...I mean come on, have you suddenly changed from how you used to be? It is obvious he was attracted to you by something. What happened to that? Of course you're different. We are all different. That is what makes us who we are. Those are the things that make us fall in love with each other. There are things that I don't particularly like about myself, and if everyone had the same trait, that just means there was going to be something I disliked about everyone. But that's not the case. I can look to others, because they don't have the traits I dislike about myself. Again, I don't know him or his true reasoning, but it sounds like excuses to me.
Oh about being busy...You always have time for the things you put first! You always have time for love. Everything will work out. Remember every good and perfect gift is from above, and everything happens for a reason.
Keep your head up. You're not an idiot. Never let yourself believe that. You are a woman with feelings like everyone else. They say that which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Down let anything get you down. Let it build you up. Let me know, if you would like to talk about it. I apologize if any of this sounds harsh. I get a little touchy on the subject. I hope to hear from you soon.