My energy level is just starting to go way down. I am exhausted what seems like all the time. But then as soon as I go into my bedroom to go to sleep, I'm wide awake. My mind goes crazy as I lay in my bed. I do so much thinking that I can't fall asleep. Plus, I've just been so distracted these past couple days. I was sitting in a meeting yesterday for two hours, I don't think I said more than 4 words because my mind just wasn't there. The same for at the movies...I went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith with some of my H.S. boys and the whole time my mind was wondering. This is ridiculous. And YES, it is because I'm still thinking of Matt and why he did the things he did. Is it normal to dwell on stuff like this for so long? Aauuuuuu.
Tonight I'm meeting up with Lauren though, I need that...spill my guts....then have her spill her's. It's a nice exchange.
My top 10 favorite movies in no particular order:
Top Gun
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The Sound of Music
Love Actually
Napolean Dynamite
Dances With Wolves
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Pirates of the Caribean
Double Jeopardy
8 Mile
About Me
- Becky
- Georgetown, Texas, United States
- I love my family, my friends and God. I am a worrier...I worry about everything, from my job to what I'm going to wear in the mornings. I love life, but I crave more. I could live off of Mashed Potatoes and Coca-Cola and enjoy the occassional balanced meal. I live by myself in a town that I had never been to before I moved to it. I work as a youth director at a Lutheran church. I am constantly craving more in my life...relationships, money, support, etc...but then realize that my life is already blessed in so many ways that I am truly happy with my life the way it is.
1 comment:
Hmmm...Normal? What's That? I don't think anyone can really say whether anything we do is normal anymore. (to a certain extend). I mean, you are hurting. Who's to say when you should be over it. That's a problem in the world today. People think that there is a designated and set "Mourning Period" (for lack of a better word). For some people this would take a couple of hours to get over, while others may not get over it. However, in SOME cases, people just don't want to get over it. I lost a good friend over a year ago. She didn't die. She just moved on, and due to circumstances in our lives we were forced to end our friendship. The hardest thing for me to do was to forget about her, and the time we spent together. I tried and tried to move on, but the biggest part of me didn't want to let her go. I think I was scared of forgetting. I thought about her all of the time, and still do. I actually kept track of the number of days it had been since I had last spoken to her. (I'm a numbers person) Finally after 410 days I saw her again. You know. I couldn't even think of what to say to her. I had rehearsed over and over what I would say to her, if I ever saw her again, but when I did, I drew a blank. I actually got a lump in my throat talking to her. She did most of the talking. Right after she left, I thought of about an hours worth of conversation I could have told her. Believe me. I wouldn't wish the pain I felt and feel for her on anyone. I know things may not be the same between you and Matt, and I'm not trying to lessen your pain or make mine look larger. I am only letting you know that whether it is normal or not, you are not the only one that holds on. I hope you and Lauren have a great time. Talking is a wonderful cure for these things. Hopefully, you can help each other. Take care.
Post a Comment