I'm a Turtle....ROAR!!

I got an email from my friend Melissa telling me that I need to figure out who I am before I try and figure out myself with another person or as a career person. This is what I figured out (I'll be talking in 3rd person because it's easier for me to talk about "someone" else than for me to talk about myself)

Becky is a very emotional person and has been ever since I can remember. Crying is just something that she does for no reason. She has a lot of feelings that she has trouble expressing and therefore just lets them build up.
She is a listener. She loves to know about people and learn how they work. She's not much for talking about herself...she thinks its rude when people try and focus to much attention on themselves. Becky would rather be unbearably uncomfortable that see someone she knows feel any type of discomfort. She is just now learning to take a compliment. She loves to give them, but when someone says something nice about her it seems unnecessary.
Her self-esteem fluctuates...at times she is unstoppable, but at other times she needs that extra push to help her into the right direction. Sometimes she just doesn't know what the right direction is.
It's easy for her to give awesome advice to her friends, but for her to actually take her own advice would be the end of the world. Telling people how she feels or what she's thinking is tough and then when she does express her thoughts...she expects to do hear it from others.
She loves living by herself, but at the same time craves any type of attention or human contact. Hugs are very important to her...not the polite hugs, but the ones where it hurts because you're holding too tight. She can tell a lot about a person by the way they hug.

I'll pause the list right here...I don't want to get to overdone. Maybe I'll try and learn something about myself daily and share it, if I feel like it.

Turns out, I'm a VERY violent dreamer. I can't explain it, but all my dreams are just terrifying. Maybe I just have all this built up frustrations or something. I always seem to be a either a very harsh person in my dreams or be around people that are trying to kill me or someone else. I remember a dream I had a couple weeks ago where this woman just confused me with someone else and the next thing I know, I'm on top of her on the ground smashing her head against the floor. I HATE violence...why would I be like that when I'm sleeping? And I'm one of those people that know I'm dreaming and try to wake myself up when I know something bad is going to happen. It's weird at times. Then I wake up and just upset because I can't believe all the thoughts I was having...I'm not even going to say what last nights was about. It's terrible.

I didn't get to talk to Matt again yesterday. I know I shouldn't blame things on him because I'm just as guilty for not calling. I just always feel as if I'm interrupting something. I shouldn't think that way. But I miss him so much. It's probably good that we don't talk every day, that way it will be more exciting whenever we do speak, but I just get lonely for him sometime...

I watched "Love Actually" last night. I think that is an incredible movie. I love how it begins and ends with people at the arrival gate of some airport and how everyone is so happy to see the person they are there to meet. If you have never seen that movie, I highly recommend it. It just shows the different ways people fall in and out of love. It's just has some sweet stories in it.

"Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me"
-Dido