Back To Reality

I am a very emotional person and I just can't help it. I was on this HIGH all weekend with being around friends and family and having such an excellent time. Now I'm back to being by myself and letting my mind run wild. I think I'm a little emotionally drained at the moment. I was around all of this positive energy and now it's feels like it was all just ripped from me.
I've been having some real bad breathing problems this weekend as well, so that sucks. But I think it's just me stressing about everything. I have so much on my mind.

I didn't get to talk to Matt at all on Saturday and that really threw me off. I didn't think it would, but it definitely did. I got to take my mind of off missing him for a little while when I was with friends. I definitely thought about him every day I was with them, but being around people that love me helps me not to think about how much I miss him. I sure hope I'm not setting myself up to get hurt. I try and stay away from stuff that will get to me. Last night was really bad, I just sat around and thought about him. As soon as my alarm goes off in the morning his face pops into my head. Either I really like him...or I'm acting like a crazy school girl. I really need to be told that my feelings aren't worthless. You know. I don't want to be thinking about him this much if he isn't doing the same. I don't know....I'm confused right now. I really just want him to tell me that things will work out and that we'll see each other again and that I have nothing to worry about. But he always seems to call so late and we end up having short conversations. I need a good long one to tide me over.

I leave for Missouri on Thursday with m my High School group. Hopefully I won't be distracted on that trip and think about him too much. But my chest sure hurts today because I think about him so much.

"Back to life, back to reality
Back to life, back to reality
Back to life, back to reality
Back to the here and now yeah
Show me how,
decide what you want from me
Tell me maybe I could be there for you"
-Soul II Soul