I had a nice talk with my mom this morning. She caught me crying in the bathroom...sometimes I just can't help myself and it all just floods out.
So we talked about my job and if I thought Iw as doing a good job. I mean, I know I'm doing a good job and my kids really like me and call me whenever they have a problem.
I just think that I'm the one with the problem. I don't have anyone in Georgetown that I can talk to everyday when I get off of work or someone to just vent to. I can't vent to anyone from the church because that wouldn't be right, but those are the only people that I know up there.
I also talked to mom about how I'm still upset over the whole Matt thing. But I came to this realization that I just liked having that person that wasn't around all the time that knew my friends or my problems that I could just talk to at the end of the day. I got used to that positive energy that I got every day from talking to him and now that I don't have that person to talk to and share stuff with, it just makes my life miserable. I mean, I have friends I can talk to, but it was different being able to talk to someone that just wasn't around and knew everything that was going on. Does that make sense. I'm not good at opening up...so I'd rather do that with someone that wasn't going to see it everyday. Whatever...I just miss that.
Plus it still pisses me off that he drove through Georgetown the other day and didn't even call to say "hey, I'm driving through". I just need to get that out of my mind right now. Find someone else to share stuff with....sure, that's going to be easy, right.
My mom is just a great person to talk to about life. She just keeps saying great things that are getting me to be comfortable with what's going on. She knows I should be in this position at work and that I'm doing good things. I just need to stay focused and postive. I just need to get reenergized.
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The wise speaks. Becky, Brinney is right. Happiness is NOT a feeling. It is a decision that Everyone has to make. I know you've probably heard people say (maybe not to you) comments like "I was trying to have a good day until this." My comment to them is they didn't try hard enough. Make the choice, and don't let anyone change your mind. I guess you are thinking like most people do. They say,"Some things just happen, and make you upset." I agree. I don't think I have done this very much, but I will show you Biblical examples of people doing things differently. Take a look at Job. No one was tempted like he was. If you remember, he lost all his animals as well as his children within minutes of each other, and his reaction was, He praised God. He was hurt, but he praised God. Is it wrong to become angry (to vent)? No. Paul tells us in the Book of Ephesians, chapter 4, "Be ye angry and sin not..." I dare say that any of us has gone through the trails of Job. I dare say that there is anyone who has never been angry. We just have to know what to do with the bad feelings, whether it be anger, depression, jeolousy, sadness, etc.
I know I have told you before, and you may not care to hear it again, but you have friends out here that will listen. I know it isn't the same as being there in person, but even email is better than nothing. All you have to do is speak. It is obvious we are interested. Just look through your comments. People wouldn't continue to post them, if they didn't care. May the Lord bless you and all of your friends richly in all you may do. Hope to hear from you soon.
In His Love,
Richard
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