I find myself being very wise in the mornings as I gather my thoughts and get ready to start the new day. It's just the time before I wake up that I don't get. I went to sleep early last night because I felt super exhausted (even though I really didn't do much all day) and therefore I woke up in the middle of the night and I was wide awake. Instead of falling back to sleep...I found myself thinking about a certain guy that I tell myself everyday to not think of. Shit like that drives me crazy, because I keep thinking "what did I do wrong?" "I'm stupid for still having these feelings in me"...anyways...this morning as I was getting ready this song by Aerosmith comes on the radio:
"Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me what it takes to let you go."
And then it hit me...there really isn't any ONE way to let go. It's not like talking to them is going to make things better. I think it's just something that has to happen. Mine comes in shifts. I have these awesome days where I feel...Whatever, I'm better than that. I'm an awesome person and I don't need to be screwed over. But then there are the other days where I just lay on the living room floor and sulk. Aaauuugh.
BUT...vacation tomorrow!!! I'm getting super burned out about everything: life, work...I guess that's all that I have right now. But it will be great.
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3 comments:
it's almost here!!!! ready for some sun, beach, tank tops, and drinks! hey, that rhymed. :) I love you, girl. I'll call you later on today to firm up plans for manana. I'm totally in your shoes lately when it comes to a certain guy. . .yeah, I was completely ditched. UGH. more later--I'm trying to stay on the bright side!
Awwww, Lauren, sometimes I just love you too much for words to describe. You're just so much more genuine when it comes to your responses that some of my other friends. Later Gator.
I'm going to start off by saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! And I hope you had a great time. I bet the time just flew by while you were there. Now you will just need a couple of days off to rest. It's funny how that works.
As for this certain guy, I guess all we can do is let you know how right you are. There isn't any one way to let go. First you have to want to let go. I imagine from all of the comments you have received, you got the impression it was going to be easy. Just kidding. I remember telling you about a girl I knew that I was forced to end my friendship with. I still don't want to let her go. In fact, I still hope I see her, whenever I go out. But I know it won't make things any easier. I guess I (Possibly We) am a glutton for punishment. Anyway, I hope you have a great birthday, and a wonderful week. Still hope to hear from you soon.
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